Falling Down (Ch. 5) - Randy Halprin
Randy Halprin
"We tend to see a person in the moment, not as the journey they travelled to get here." Kat Lehmann
Memoirs
FALLING DOWN : PART ONE (1995)
Chapter 5
(by Randy E. Halprin)
A Memoir
Living on your own for the first time is a strange thing; I suddenly realised that I had no parental supervision, and no teachers at school watching over every little thing I did. OBI did a fairly good job of giving a kid the illusion of autonomy and independence, but one screw up and a student would either tell on you, or a teacher would pop up out of nowhere like a Bengal Tiger in the jungles of India.
My new sense of freedom came with “adult responsibilities” and I was neither responsible nor an adult, so finding a real job was uncharted territory for me. I went to my interview at SUBWAY, a sandwich shop right across the street from my apartment. The manager, a mid-30s, heavy set woman, asked me a series of questions. “You look like you're still in high school, so I'm assuming you'll work part time?” She asked.
“Well...actually I was hoping I could work part time. I was kicked out of school.” This caused her to raise her eyebrow.
“Kicked out? I don't need someone working for me who is going to be a problem.”
“No ma'am,” I began, and tried my best to explain about Oneida and the events that happened there. I obviously left out the story of stealing from my father, and leaving home.
“You plan on finishing school?” She asked.
“I'd like to. I busted by butt to graduate in '96, so yeah...”
“GED or graduate?”
“I'd prefer to graduate. I don't want a GED.”
“Nothing wrong with that. It's what I have,” she said with a matter of fact tone in her voice.
“All the same, I really want to graduate.”
“You live across the street?”
“Yes, ma'am.”
“You gonna show up every day and on time?”
“Yes, ma'am.”
“Afternoons good for you?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay then, I'll start you tomorrow. Show up at noon and we'll go from there. You need to get a phone or a beeper in case I need to get hold of you. Sometimes I might need you to show up early, or if someone is out sick.”
She shook my hand and I walked out of the restaurant with a spring in my step. I couldn't wait to tell my parents...Maybe they'd see that I was really making the effort to be responsible, and turn my life around.
Knowing that I had a cheque on the way from my dad, and I would be earning a regular income from SUBWAY, I called the phone company and tried to set up an account. I'd never done anything like that before, but I answered all of the questions, gave the operator my social security number, and because I was just 17, I needed to give a reference so I gave my dad's information to her as well. “Okay. You'll need to buy a phone or you can rent one from one of our stores. We'll check with your reference, and you can expect the phone to be on in a couple of days.”
I started working the very next day. I was mostly training at first, and it was weird seeing behind the curtains of a fast food place. I'd always assumed the bread used for the submarine sandwiches was actually “fresh,” as advertised, but they obviously used that term loosely! Instead, the bread was actually a frozen stick of dough. I would take them out of a box from the walk in freezer, and lay a dozen or so on a large pan which I then put in the oven. After only a few minutes, they'd rise and voila! Fresh bread.
I had varied duties in my job at SUBWAY...I'd slice and dice vegetables, lay meats out on wax paper and put them into pans in the order of how each submarine sandwich would be made, and then I'd take all of them to the front of the store. It was very easy work, and everyone I worked with was really cool and they were all kind to me. I seemed to have impressed the manager with my work ethic. “You seem to always want to impress,” she said. “Pretty good for a 17 year old.” I told her that my dad had instilled in me the importance of working – no matter what the job is. Plus, my own insecurities forced me to always seek approval in everything I did, so I tried to do everything in the best way I could.
“How about I get you out in the front? You'll need to take that earring out, but other than that, I think you'd be a good fit. I'll need you to come in a bit earlier though, for the lunch crowd.”
Soon, I was learning how to work the cash register and take orders. The only “rule” that seemed a bit maddening at times, and caused me to be chastised by the manager, was the “washing your hands after each sandwich you make” rule. It didn't matter if it was part of the same order, we were directed to wash our hands after each and every sandwich. I understood it, but when a person comes in at the lunch rush and orders a dozen subs for their office, and you have to stop to wash your hands after making each one - even if the customer is getting frustrated because it's taking too long to fill their order – you tend to want to cut a corner or two.
It took over a week to have my phone turned on. I called my parents from a pay phone on a Friday evening, and told my dad how things were going. He asked if I had received the first cheque from them yet, and I told him I hadn't. “It should be there by Saturday. You'll need to go to a bank and open an account once you get paid by your job though. And remember, start saving 10% of everything you receive, and pay your bills on time. I don't want AT&T calling me up and asking me to cover your bill.”
I hung up the phone and went back to my apartment.
I had the weekend off and I was going to spend it exploring down town for a bit, maybe catching a movie at the old Kentucky Theater. I wanted to call my girlfriend first though, so I grabbed a handful of quarters and went to a payphone. Tracy's mom picked up...”Is Tracy there? I asked.
“No.” She answered tersely.
“Do you know when she'll be back?” I asked.
“She won't.”
“She won't? What does that mean?”
“She left last night and is staying with some friends. She's not welcome home until she apologises.” Click. The phone went dead.
What? What the hell?...I began to panic. I needed to find out what was going on as quickly as possible. I was short on quarters so I ran to a nearby gas station to change the remaining money I had into quarters, and I began to call all of her friends up. I got the same reply from everyone: nobody knew where she was, and she hadn't come to them. I was really freaking out and had no money left to make any more calls, and only had one more person on her list I could check with...A guy named Daniel. I took a chance on calling collect, in the hope he'd answer and accept. When the pre-recorded voice told me to say my name, I blurted out, “Randy – Tracy's boyfriend!” before it cut me off.
The phone rang...And rang and rang...but just as I was about to give up, someone answered and the recorded voice kicked in. The person accepted and I heard, “What's up, dude?”
“Daniel?”
“Yeppers. Let me guess, calling about Tracy?”
“Yeah, I'm freaking out a bit, dude. Please tell me you know where she is.”
“Nobody knows, man. She did call me last night and told me her parents told her to leave, but she didn't say where she was going.”
“Fuck!” I said. “Okay, look, if she pops up, tell her I've been trying to get hold of her...Tell her to stay at your place and if it's not a problem, I'll collect call again around 5pm and see if she's there, or if you have any more information.”
“That's cool....”
“Thanks, man.” I said, and hung up.
I was still in a bit of a panic, and thought maybe my parents would know something I didn't. I don't know how my dad did it, but he seemed to have a strange omnipresence over everything concerning my life, and an uncanny ability to find out information when he needed it. He once told me, whilst I was watching him at work, that he could do anything with a phone, and I believed him.
I called my parents and dad accepted. “Tracy'sgoneandnooneknowswheresheis!” I blurted out. “Hold on. Stop. Say it again, Randy.” My dad said. I took a breath and tried to explain the situation. My mom came on another phone and joined the conversation, and I repeated everything. They both said they didn't know anything, but my mom offered, “Maybe she's headed towards you.” I hadn't even considered that, but I doubted it would be the case because her friends would've known. Someone had to drive her to Lexington!
“I told one of her friends that I would check back in at 5pm and hopefully he will have more information.” I told my parents.
“Okay,” my mom said, “here's what you need to do..When you leave your place again, put a note on your door that tells her to stay there and that you'll be back. That way she knows what's going on.” Ever the voice of reason, my mom!
My dad asked if the money had arrived, and I admitted I hadn't even checked my mail box yet, but would let him know. We hung up and I headed back to my apartment. I stopped off at the mail box and used the key to open it up. Sure enough there was an envelope from my dad...I opened it up and finally had the cheque! I locked the box back up again, and went inside.
I wrote the note like my mom suggested, and waited around until almost 5. I really believed if Tracy wasn't here by now, she wasn't coming, but still I taped the note to the outside of the door. I had given Tracy an extra key to my place when I was in Louisville, so she could come whenever she wanted...But again, I wasn't too hopeful about that happening at this moment.
I went back out to the payphone, and made the collect call to her friend. He accepted and told the me the same thing again – no one knew anything about her whereabouts, and they were all getting worried as well. My heart was pounding, and I was a nervous wreck! I had my dad's cheque with me and knew that the gas station would cash it for a small fee, so I decided to do that before heading back to my place. I had some money now and went back home.
When I was back at the front door of my apartment, the note was still on the door, but I heard some noise coming from inside...It sounded like cabinets opening and closing. My heart dropped to my stomach, and I felt a surge of adrenaline! Had someone broken into my place? I don't know why I didn't jump to the conclusion that it could possibly be my girlfriend who was inside my apartment, but in that moment, I really thought it could be an intruder! I put my key in the door and slowly turned it, ready to strike the first person I saw...I stepped in, and standing at a cabinet, pulling out a box of cereal, was Tracy! She froze in place as I ran towards her, pulled her close to me, and said, “Don't ever fucking do that again!” And I just held her tightly. Her head dropped onto my shoulder and she began to cry...then I began to cry, and we both stood there holding on to one another for a few minutes.
She explained everything that happened. She'd gotten into a fight with her mom and dad (I can't actually remember what it was about) but they told her to leave, and that she wasn't welcome home for the time being. She spent the Friday night with a friend and decided she'd come to Lexington on Saturday. She would've been there earlier, but missed the first Grey Hound bus and had to catch the afternoon one. She'd spent all of her money on the bus and taxi. “How am I going to get back home?” She cried...clearly not thinking things all the way through. I told her I had just gotten money from my parents, so it was all good. After we'd talked, we were both hungry, so we went to a nearby Wendy's to get something to eat.
She didn't have to be back home until Sunday night, so we spent that weekend together. This time she asked me to lie to my parents and tell them she was staying with a friend in Louisville, but that I had found her. I agreed.
“I thought you were getting a phone?” She asked.
“Still waiting for it to be turned on.”
“Well, I need to calm my friends down...Can I get some quarters from you?”
I guess she calmed everyone down, and after she was done with her calls, we enjoyed the weekend together and talked about doing this more regularly. We both figured that as long as she came on Friday evening, we could have her back in Louisville by Sunday evening, and it would be all good.
So, she returned home on Sunday afternoon. I walked back home from the Lexington bus station and then I watched some TV on my black and white set, before going to bed.