Falling Down (Ch. 2) - Randy Halprin
Randy Halprin
"We tend to see a person in the moment, not as the journey they travelled to get here." Kat Lehmann
Memoirs
FALLING DOWN : PART ONE (1995)
Chapter 2
(by Randy E. Halprin)
A Memoir
The trip to Louisville was supposed to be a non-stop drive, stopping just once in Memphis. This was the first time I had taken a full trip from Texas to Kentucky on a Grey Hound Bus. All of my previous trips had been by plane, so riding a bus for this distance was a new and strange experience for me. I had the realization that my trips from Lexington to London, Kentucky, when I was headed back to school, were like taking the daycare bus! I always believed the slightly exaggerated version of bus rides in movies were for comedic effect, but I very quickly learned that what I saw in movies, was for real.
I travelled from Arlington to Dallas where I witnessed several Police officers wrestling with a man in the bus terminal. And from Dallas to Little Rock, Arkansas, where a couple was having sex in the very back of the bus, a lady was talking to herself, and another woman was weeping uncontrollably in the seat in front of me. I decided I needed a snack to get me through the journey, so at the stop in Little Rock, I bought a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos that ended up stabbing my gums right where I'd had my wisdom teeth removed, and I was bleeding profusely.
The weather got really bad from Little Rock to Memphis, so the bus stopped for the night/early part of the morning, and I ate a greasy cheese burger from a van, that gave me the runs. The station was saying that because of the storms, we would be delayed arriving in Louisville, and we might not get there until Sunday. I was really upset about this, but I waited patiently. I think I was more excited about the fact I was in the city that U2's Rattle And Hum was filmed, and more interested in seeing if I could identify some of the spots where the movie was made.
At some point that Saturday, the PA system kicked on and asked everyone headed to Louisville to head towards the bus terminal and the ride was back on. Most of the rain had cleared, but once we got close to Louisville, it started raining very hard again. The rain lasted for just a few minutes, and then cleared, leaving the city grey and wet.
I exited the bus, grabbed my luggage, and headed towards the nearest phone booth. “Hey, Tracy?” I said when my girlfriend picked up the phone. “Yeah, I'm at the station, and a bit earlier than I expected! Did you get a hold of Travis? No!? Shit. Okay. Well, check this out...I'll call him from here and see what's up. I know I have to find a place to stay! Alright. Let me make the call and then I'll take a cab to your place.” I hung up the phone and called my friend, Travis.
I was fortunate in that he had just gotten home when I called, but when I explained the situation, it didn't exactly go the way I had hoped. He told me that there was no way his parents were going to allow me to stay at his place at such short notice. He did offer to come and pick my stuff up at my girlfriend's place and maybe he could talk to his parents and get me there the next day, but not for that night. I asked him if he'd meet me at Tracy's and he said he'd be there later on that evening.
I hailed a cab and told him to take me to Bardstown Road. When I got to my girlfriend's house, her parents were sitting on their front porch in a swinging chair. I got out of the cab and took the luggage to the porch. When they asked where I was staying, I lied and told them I was staying at Travis' and he'd be swinging by to pick my stuff up. “Is Tracy home?” I asked...
“Yes. She's inside. Go ahead and go in.”
I left the bags on the front porch, called out her name, and she came running from another room and hugged me. I think she was really surprised that I had gone through with everything and was standing right in front of her. “Come on,” she said, grabbing my hand.
We stepped outside and she told her parents that we were going to go on a walk, and would be back in a bit. Her parents were very laid back and pretty much gave her unrestricted freedom, so we took off on a walk. This was my second time ever being in Louisville, so I wasn't entirely familiar with it, but I remember when I spent the Valentine weekend that same year, and really falling in love with the city – especially Bardstown Road.
Bardstown Road was a main street that was full of headshops, music stores, and some diners. There were several Cathedrals and grocery stores along that strip, and there was a certain French Colonialism aesthetic to the street, and people of every type. I can distinctly remember the smell of pot, fresh bread baking, and the scent of BBQ from a butcher shop not far from my girlfriend's house. Off the main road was the residential area – a never ending labyrinth of streets and alley ways. We headed down a road that took us to a home where she would babysit: the Naders. She wanted me to meet them, and it was obvious she really loved babysitting for them. When we got to their house and rang the doorbell, no one answered, so we stopped off at another one of her friend's houses, but no one answered there either! Eventually, we headed back to her place.
Back at Tracy's, I called Travis up again and he said he'd come and pick my stuff up. When I enquired if he'd even broached the subject of me staying at his place, with his parents, he said he hadn't tried, and I pretty much figured out that I had no place to stay. Tracy was getting upset with the way this was unravelling, and even voiced her anger about having to lie to her family to cover for me...but I felt like this was benefiting her as well, and she didn't exactly try to talk me out of leaving Texas, so...A part of me knew that this was a big mistake, but then again I enjoyed being there with her. I'd be back to school soon and it would soon be forgotten and everyone would get over it, I thought...Or I was naïve enough to believe that anyway.
I ended up sleeping outside at the back of a courtyard at Saint Francis of Assisi, a large Cathedral on Bardstown Road, for the first couple of nights. It was memorial day weekend and during the day I'd spend time with her and her family. On Memorial Day itself, I remember it being really hot, and her family had some of their friends over as well as some of Tracy's friends. Somehow I became the go-for/errand boy, and was running back and forth between their place and the grocery store, all afternoon long. Tracy's mom noticed I was getting really hot so she made me an ice cold container of sweet tea, and ordered me to drink it.
Towards the end of the day the adults moved to the back of the house, and Tracy and her friends gravitated towards themselves. I felt left out, and I began to wonder how I got into this mess and was it really worth it...I knew I was messing up big time, and I noticed more and more that Tracy wasn't happy about the situation I put her in. It was hard for her to hide her emotions, and when she was mad, well, you just knew it. I took the way I was being ignored as a sign of her not being happy with the situation – especially because I had no place to stay.
As I sat there, ignored, I sulked and listened to their conversation. Something about an ex-boyfriend of hers – a guy called Mike – and I didn't like it at all. So, after her friends left and it was just she and I, I confronted her about it. I asked her if she had slept with the guy, and she said I was an idiot and that she hadn't...I just stared at her. She asked me if I believed her and when I didn't answer...She exploded, and tore right into me! She went on about the past few days and the position I put her in. I had nothing to say...I felt horrible...I walked to the back yard and sat on the patio stairs where she eventually joined me and laid across my lap.
“I found a place for you to stay,” she said.
“You did?” I asked.
“Yeah. The Naders. I'm going to take you there in a bit.”
“Okay. Thanks...”
We sat in silence for a bit and then she lead me to the Naders' place.
The Naders were a very normal looking middle class family. They had a nice home, a nice family, but Tracy warned me that they were very much hippies in every sense of the word. When I entered their home, they were having a party of some sort and everyone was very warm and inviting. My first impression was they were middled-aged yuppies. Tracy kissed me goodbye, and after she was gone Mrs Nader asked me to join the circle with their friends. I was introduced to all of them, and when I sat down, a huge bag of marijuana appeared. I was shocked! I mean, here I was with a group of adults who could be hanging out with my parents. She then pulled out a pipe, packed it, and began to pass it around.
I wasn't really a big pot smoker because I didn't particularly care for it. I had never smoked cigarettes, and whilst most of my friends were smokers it just never appealed to me. I wasn't against pot per se, but I've always hated the feeling that I can't breathe, or the incessant cough that comes with being a smoker. So, whilst I had smoked a few times with Tracy, I definitely wasn't a fan. However, these people had invited me into their home and offered me some, and I couldn't really refuse it, could I?
The pipe went around the circle several times until the weed was gone, and I was very high. The entire time my mind is telling me, “This cannot be happening” This cannot be happening!” At some point later that night, Tracy came back to check on me and when I went to see her she noticed I was high. I'm standing there, kind of giggling, and she says something about being jealous. She's obviously teasing me, but she wished she could've joined me. Shortly after that, she left.
The next few days were a little bit better. I think I worried that one of these days her parents were going to get a call from my parents, and the jig would be up, but as it hadn't happened yet, I decided to enjoy myself. Whilst my luggage was with Travis, I still had a bunch of clothes at my girlfriend's house, so I'd get up early in the morning and leave for her place. After her parents left for work, I'd go in and take a shower and get changed before we took the city bus down town. I was pretty much broke by now, so she was footing the bill for my meals.
Tracy worked down town in a frozen yogurt shop on the first floor of PNC banks. Her mom worked in the office several floors up, so after she went to work, I'd wander around and explore the city or spend the day at Galleria Mall. I had found a $20 bill in a gutter, so I decided to buy a couple of things for her. A bottle of perfume, a journal notebook, and a Pinky and the Brain book mark. Earlier that morning the batteries in her game boy died, and I wanted to replace them for her because she and her mom liked to play it on the bus ride back home...but I was going to be short of cash to pay for them. Looking around, I snatched a packet of batteries and stuffed it into my pocket. I wasn't a shoplifter, nor had I ever been one...I think when I was a kid I might've grabbed a piece of bubble gum in a gas station, but my dad caught me and thoroughly spanked me when we got home. Stealing the batteries was something entirely new and out of character for me.
I went to the counter and standing in the line behind me was a Mall Police Officer. I acted as normally as possible, and paid for the other items as well as a pen that I grabbed from a nearby stand; the items were placed in a little bag and I left the store. Once I believed I was clear of the officer and any other watching eyes, I grabbed the batteries from my pocket and stuffed them in the bag. I had walked by just a couple of stores when the officer caught up with me and said, “I want the batteries.” I played dumb and blurted out, “I paid for everything!” He asked to pat search me and took the bag from me, pulling out the batteries. “I paid for those!”
“No you didn't”
“Yes, I did!”
“I watched you put the batteries in your pocket and then take them out and stick them in this bag.”
What could I say? I was defeated and deflated. We stood there for a second and then he asked me for my wallet. I'd forgotten that earlier that morning - not thinking I'd need it or that I'd find $20 – I gave it to my girlfriend to hold for me. This was getting worse every single second!
“I don't have it. My girlfriend does,” I said.
“Well, we've got a problem because I was just going to write you a citation, but now we've got to figure out who the hell you are.”
He asked me to place my hands behind my back and he arrested me, then took me to the basement of the mall where they had a little jail. I was told to sit whilst he made some calls. Some other cops came into the room and I remember one saying, “who's this punk?” I felt embarrassed, but also defensive, so when the female officer asked me a question I made a smart ass comment and the officer who arrested me yelled, “Hey! We're trying to figure this shit out so we can get you home. You want to act like a dumb ass, then we'll treat you like a dumb ass and send you to jail. Otherwise, you're going to sit there and answer our questions.”
My mind was racing...I'm basically a run away from Texas; I have no ID, my girlfriend is at work, and this is my first time ever being arrested. Not to mention that everything was falling down around me...I wasn't supposed to be in a mall jail at this moment. I was supposed to be meeting Tracy at work and heading back to her place!
The officer asked me for a phone number and thinking that she might already have caught the bus and was home, I gave him her home number. No one answered, so I left a message. Then, I tried the Naders and no one answered there either. I was left with no choice but to call home, but chose not to. He told me I'd have to be transferred to a juvenile jail and let them sort it out. They took me to a garage, put me in a cop car and drove me to the juvenile detention facility.
The juvenile facility didn't seem like a jail but more like a social worker office, although they did place me in a cell. I paced the floor for what felt like hours, when in all actuality was probably ten to fifteen minutes. A black woman in her thirties came up to the window and told me she wanted to help get me out of there. She asked me a bunch of questions like my age, where I was from, had I ever been arrested before, and then, “What are you doing in Louisville?” I tried to explain the situation and how I attended OBI in Oneida, Kentucky, but told her I really wanted to leave my parents out of this if we could.
“Honey, that is the only option you have at this point.”
I gave her our home phone number and she disappeared for a few minutes. Then, she came back with the phone. “You make the call,” she said, and handed me the phone through the food slot. I dialled the number and listened as the phone rang. My dad picked it up...
“Dad?”
“Where are you, Randy?”
“I'm sorry...”
“Oh, you're going to be! What is going on? Why didn't you call us when you said you would?” I could hear the anger in his voice...I was on the losing end and tried to explain what had happened to me. Then he said, “Give me someone to talk to.”
I handed the phone back to the lady and she disappeared, talking to my father. When she came back she told me that they were going to straighten things out but it might be a few more hours.
As I waited, I remember them putting some kid in the cell with me, and he kept talking about killing himself, which weirded me out a bit...Then they removed him and I never saw him again. After about an hour the woman came back and said, “Okay, here's the deal...no one is pressing any charges so you're good on that. You got lucky. However, you've got to deal with your parents and your girlfriend's parents, and to put it bluntly, you're up shit creek without a paddle! I can't help you there. I'm going to give you the phone to talk to your dad and he'll tell you what happens next. You're getting a break here, so I hope you'll reflect on it some. Other kids aren't so lucky.”
I called my dad back and he told me that Tracy's mom was going to pick me up and drop me off at the Naders. The following morning she would come and pick me up from the Naders and take me to the Grey Hound Bus Station. I was to get on the bus and go directly back to school. Mr Underwood would pick me up in London, and take me back to OBI.
“One question though,” he said.
“Yeah.”
“Where did you get the money to get you to Louisville?”
I didn't know what to say...If I told him about the forged cheque I'd just make the situation worse, so I just said, “I saved up the money.” In hindsight it was stupid to lie because the cheques would be returned to him eventually, and he'd know anyway...It would've probably been better to just come clean about everything right there and then. I mean, at that point, how much worse could it get? Just another bad decision added on top of another bad decision, like a bad decision pizza!
Tracy's mom eventually showed up to get me and she was furious. She signed the documents to have me released, and said, “You're going straight back to school tomorrow!” As I neared her car, I could see Tracy sitting in the passenger seat. I was told to get in the back and “shut up” and so I did...As the car drove off, my girlfriend reached to the back to hold my hand and her mom slapped it away yelling, “Don't touch that fucking criminal!” I had never heard her cuss, but those words stung bad...We drove back to the Naders in absolute silence, and when we got there her mom told me she would be watching until she saw me enter the house. I rang the door bell and they let me in. Then she drove away.
I explained the whole situation to the Naders, and they thought it was kind of comical...Then we ended up getting high. About an hour later, Tracy showed up and said, “You know you have to go back to school tomorrow?” I said I knew that; my dad had explained everything to me. I was upset, but it was my own fault. No sense in sitting around and feeling sorry for myself.
The next morning Tracy's mom showed up with Tracy. She told me not to say anything and we walked to the bus stop. Once we were down town, we walked a few blocks to the Grey Hound Bus Station. Her mom told me that tickets were already waiting on me, and she did allow me to say goodbye to my girlfriend; I remember Tracy giving me a glass necklace with a little mushroom in it, and her favourite stuffed animal, a mushroom she called “Sherman”. Her mom allowed us to hug and kiss, and then I watched as they left. Travis still had my suitcases so I was going back with nothing but a back pack and a few sets of clothes. I felt pretty stupid.
On the bus ride to London I watched out my window sadly as the bus drove by the the rolling Appalachian Hills...I began to cry, but I wasn't really sure why. Yeah, I was upset at everything that happened, but there was a part of me that felt like I was losing everything: my family, my girlfriend...But was I feeling sorry for myself, or for the bad choices I made? I don't know. I did tell myself that I would use the summer school session to get back on track. I had some friends there, I had my music and my keyboard. I'd be okay, I thought.
The bus pulled into the bus drop at a Burger King in London, Kentucky. Waiting on me was a van, Mr Budd Underwood standing beside it. He had become the interim President of OBI after Dr. Moore, the most beloved OBI President in its history, had passed away from pneumonia the year before.
I got off the bus and he told me to get in the van, but just before he slammed the door shut he said, “Randy, you're biting the hand that feeds.”