Life - Randy Halprin

Randy Halprin
"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending" C.S. Lewis
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(by Randy E. Halprin)

Slow down
Just breathe
Take it all in
Just try to see
It's all connected
You, me-
The universe-
We're all one
It's really not that difficult
Try and see
Every atom
Every star
Every molecule
And every heartbeat
It's all connected
Why can't you see?
Slow down
Just breathe
Open up your eyes
Be one with me

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Be brave
Be strong
You've got the world in front of you
Be kind
Have faith
Know there's nothing you can't do

Never lose your inner youth
Hold it deep inside your heart
Always speak the truth
Don't be afraid to share your heart

The world will sometimes seem scary
Life will seem unfair
But the people who love you
Will always care

Be brave
Be strong
You've got your whole life in front of you
Be kind
Have faith
Sebastian, there's nothing you can't do!

(by Randy E. Halprin)

I haven't always been perfect
And I know I'll never be
But I try to be a good person -
fill my days with good deeds
I don't think that I'm the righteous
I've made enough mistakes to fill a sea,
and littered it with broken hearts
Sometimes focused on my own selfish needs.
I do realise my mistakes.
Yeah, it took a long time to do.
But I've tried to right every wrong I've done -
done everything I could.
And it might make for a good song,
but even when I'm doing right,
I'm still treated like I'm doing wrong.
Yeah, even when I'm doing right,
I'm still treated like I'm doing wrong.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

I'm vulnerable right now.
And you've figured out how.
To take advantage of my kindness.
I'm bendable right now.
And you've found a way how.
To take advantage of my heart.
To stop before you start.
(by Randy E. Halprin)

I'm cursed, I really believe…
I'm cursed, can't you see?
Nothing really belongs to me.
Nothing is ever here to stay.
I've been cursed in this way.
It'll probably remain -
until the day I'm in a grave.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

He has hair growing out of his ears,
out of his mouth,
out of his nose.
His teeth are bearing,
his fangs are flaring,
he's close to sharing his fears with you.
The moon is glowing,
and he knows that you know who he has become.
(The moon is full and bright,
while the world hides in fright.
Tell everyone to say good night,
Bush is on the town tonight.)

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Tsunamis and wars.
I want to cover my ears,
I can't take any more.
Could this be our end?
Our Apocalypse.
Eclipsed -
by all of this madness,
and Eternal sadness.
A loss of lives,
and our loss of love.
As I watch my world go up in flames.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

(This song was written in 1995. One of the very first songs I had written.
The music was written by Dan Kaufman and Randy Halprin.
Lyrics by Randy Halprin.)

Hey you, little red haired girl,
where are you going tonight?
Hey you, little brown eyed girl,
I see some sort of fright.
What did I do -
what did I say to you to make you slap my face?
What did I do to make your eyes turn grey?
(And I tried to make you laugh.
I tried to make you smile,
but you wouldn't recieve me...)
Watching the cars,
watching the cars go by,
I stop to check my watch.
Then I realize that it was just yesterday we were together,
laughing and holding each other's hands.
And I know that it won't be long til we're together forever,
laughing. holding each other.
(But I try to make you laugh.
I try to make you smile,
but you won't recieve me...)

(by Randy E. Halprin)

I don't believe you any more.
I don't believe you any more.
'Cause if you really want to leave –
I'll show you to the door.
I can't believe you any more.
But I won't love you any less.
If you really want to go -
I'll put you to the test.
(What makes it hard on me is you had my heart.
I may not let go right away,
but I can surely try to start.)
I don't believe you any more.
I don't believe you any more.
'Cause if you really want to leave –
I'll walk you to the door.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Does shooting plastic pistols at the TV
add to a child's naivety?
When we are all told that Jesus saves
and bodies fill mass graves…
As bombs explode,
and people in the streets die.
Our video games are the only real flames.
Day by day souls sucked away.
War was just a game -
something to protect the interests of you and me.
Another bomb explodes in the street.
Somewhere another child loses an eye.
Bang Bang…
We're all dead.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

I'm going home to you today,
'cause everything in my mind’s okay.
I see a perfect sky.
Bright and blue.
I know there’s nothing wrong,
between me and you.
(But in reality nothing seems right.
In reality nothing seems fair.
No one seems to love.
No one seems to care.
I’m falling down
I’m broken down.
Broke over you.
I want to return,
return home to you...)
I’m going home to you today.
Cause everything in my mind's okay.
I see a perfect smile,
eyes shining bright.
There are no more tears,
between me and you tonight.
(Let me return.
Just let me be.
Let me come home.
Let reality be what I want it to be.
It’s not right, and it’s not fair.
No one seems to love.
No one seems to care.
We’re all cold.
We’re all so numb.
Broken down, from falling down -
where’s the return?)
I’m going home today.
I wish everything in my mind was okay.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

A star explodes tonight.
But will we ever reunite -
under the black moon sky?
And why -
why do you say those things,
and still cry?
Will we ever be alright,
when your alibi was never air tight?
My heart explodes under a black moon sky.
No more tears tonight.
no more tears my dear.
When your alibi was never air tight.
It will never feel right.
(Is it any wonder why..
Alibi rhymes with lie?)

(by Randy E. Halprin)

This is a song I was writing recently, but couldn't quite get the rest of the words to come out, but in a way, what stands, says more than enough. It's about longing for lost youth…

I'd rather hold her hand.
I'd rather see her smile.
Run my fingers through her hair.
Just kiss her for a while.
When a kiss was about exploring.
Young romance was about adoring -
enjoying the moment.
I think my heart will always want this…

('Cause I'd rather be fifteen than twenty nine.
I'd rather stay young,
than to live just to die.
Who at fifteen felt more alive?
I'd rather be fifteen than twenty nine.)

(by Randy E. Halprin)

You're so beautifully boring.
Staring out at nothing.
This yearning for you,
won't cease though.
You could sit and stare forever,
and I would still be lost in you.
Adoring you.
Taking you in.
We don't need words,
only eyes.
Only this silence that passes us by.
Beautiful –
and boring.
As time passes us by.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

your words are seeping into my brain.
Washing over me,
pouring into me like acid rain.
I never want to think for myself again.
My brain rotting away.
Why does love lie so blindedly?
You've covered me, smothered me.
Taken away my ability to see.
Lost me in white noise.
Suffocated by this black void.
My ability to think clearly…
Has been destroyed.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Up on the hill I see a girl standing,
holding hands up into the sky.
The rain falls and thunder crashes around.
I watch her brown hair soaked,
glistening in the light that flashes,
against the battered sky.
I watch as wings begin to sprout,
from the blades of her shoulders,
ripping through her skin.
And a scream erupts echoing around the hills.
Her new wings white as snow.
She turns around and faces me.
Looks down the hill towards me.
She holds her arms out,
beckoning me.
New wings breathing,
flapping in the dangerous wind.
"Come to me." She whispers.
The wind carrying her words to me.
I walk to her.
I climb the hill and grab her hands,
as she pulls me to her.
Sepia eyes and blood red lips -
oh, those lips,
those lips,
those lips...
Her mouth moves towards mine
and her wings envelope me.
Drawing me in closer to her,
as I'm crushed to death.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Can you really be that low -
to fuck with a love that continues to grow?
Your life is sad.
and miserable.
Odd that your life is still valuable -
if only you wanted it to be.
Instead you zero in on me,
try to play dirty.
Do you really think I'm that weak?
Do you really want to mess with me?
Do you really want to threaten me?
I'll be like thorns in your feet…
I'll give up my peace,
to find out who you are -
nothing but
And miserable -
yeah, count those syllables -

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Sorrow the sparrow took her flight,
all alone in the pitch black night.
With ice on her wings,
forgotten in fright.
Sorrow will you sing for me tonight?
Sorrow the sparrow where are you now?
Have you finally gone South?
Some way - somehow,
you've found a way out.
Sing, sorrow, sing!
A lullaby for our dreams.
Sorrow the sparrow,
will you return to me in spring?

(by Randy E. Halprin)

I wish my
was just a floating
in a song
being played.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Did you know?
Why was it so?
That the hurt you sow,
grows and grows.
The seasons change,
as my heart embraced,
another ache,
on another day.
Your name's not Grace,
you had to know,
didn't you?
I mean,
it's what you like to sow,
isn't it?

(by Randy E. Halprin)

I fall in love with beauty.
Aesthetics and all.
The fall...
To forget how ugly I feel inside.
A fall.
From grace-
to disgrace.
To fill this void with a pretty face.
I’m inclined to erase the decline.
Of my aesthetically challenged life.
Symmetrically - I’m really incongruent.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Another day.
Another day.
Another word.
Another way.
Broken promises,
can't find a way.
What do we have,
left to say?
You don't say yes.
you can't say no.
Leave with a maybe.
But nowhere left to go.
Another day.
Another day.
Another word.
So here I'll wait.
Another world.
You don't return.
Another lie.
Now it's too late.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Are your ears on fire
oh, burning bush???
A shattered world,
up in flames
From broken words,
and beasts untamed.
Are your ears on fire?
Do you feel any shame?
For the dreams you've broken?
For the lives you've claimed?
Tell me...!
In whose name,
is your claim to fame?
Oh, burning bush.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

It's Christmas again,
and here I wait still.
Facing the end to another long year.
When all is calm,
But all is not still.
When the night is broken by cold sweat and chills.
No egg nog to drink.
No blinking bright lights.
No twinkling white snow.
No turkey or ham.
Or Christmas television shows.
No stockings to hang.
No fire place to watch.
No Santa Clause.
No candy canes.
No gifts to swap.
It's Christmas again,
and so I pray,
that next year's not the end.
And I should live to see the next day.
Where's the snow?
Where's the love?
Where's the lights?
Where's the hope?
It comes and goes.
On Death Row.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Where do I go?
What should I do -
when someone tries on the other shoe?
Do I act out in revenge -
or try to pretend that this hasn't eaten away at me?
Or suffer from this person's apathy?
I know,
misery loves company…
And it sure loves him.
So, what should I do?
Let it all end -
or let it begin?
Be the animal (of my primal rage)…
Wash over him like a tidal wave…
Come down on him like a tsunami -
or should I just let it be -
let him rot away in his own flea infested,
maggot ridden legacy?
Let this be his destiny…
Because misery loves company…

(by Randy E. Halprin)

We are the vampires.
A world sucked dry
By evil and hate
Oil and war
Soon water will be our next kill source
The sun will bring us death
When it should give us life
While the blood runs thick
In streams of red river mud
Polluting mother's milk
Baby bottles with poisoned plastic
We've become plastic people
Do we care?
When people run over each other for material wares
For Ipods
And Iphones
We are humans
But we ain't that smart,
are we?
Truth -
it's easier to turn it off,
than to turn it on.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Slowly slipping.
Just an arm's length away.
On the waters of your ocean,
drowning in your waves.
I reach…
Try to keep myself from sinking.
Trying to grab a hold of anything.
You're only an arm's length away.
But maybe…
Maybe it's too late.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

So many tears,
we lost our life.
So many years,
we have sacrificed.
Just to feel true joy.
when we looked into each others eyes.
And now I really can't figure out how -
or why...
You ran away without saying goodbye.
Oh why?
Why must so much pain fall from my eyes?
I admit I was surprised.
Please tell me why.
What have we sacrificed?
Just so you can have your own life.
(But what about mine?)

(by Randy E. Halprin)

There's always a blame when it comes to you
There's always a game that I can see right through,
straight to the truth.
When it comes to what's still there between me and you,
I'll always be the fault in your truth

Am I what's wrong with the sun?
Am I what's wrong with the world?
What's wrong when it comes to love,
between a boy and a girl?
Am I what's wrong with your tongue,
when the cat's dragged me in?
The fault in your stars,
and the world you live in?

There's always a shame when it comes to you
Regret hate blame that I can see right through.
And between me and you,
the truth will always be there
Three little words that we act aren't there

(by Randy E. Halprin)


(by Randy E. Halprin)

Cindy has a secret machine
That feeds her dreams and hides her screams.
She's had a secret thought.
That long she's fought.
To be more like her machine.
To grow metallic wings -
and fly away to the stars.
Her pain is real
Alone inside.
No place to call home,
her parents died.
No one understands her.
They call her strange.
Except her secret machine.
Together they play.
Human hands in metal grip.
They walk,
they jump,
they sing,
And skip...

(by Randy E. Halprin)

I wish I was indestuctible.
I wish nothing in this world could
Hurt me.
I wish I was invincible.
Then your sharp edge words could never
Slice apart
My heart.
You would never be able to
The way you do.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

You look in the mirror
Who really cares what you have to say?
Or the songs that you sing
Or the ways that you play
You say you have a story to tell
But God bless you for trying anyway
And if your heart breaks
That makes me sick
To the stomach
Yeah, the image staring back
Makes me sick
Because who cares anyway
About what you say?
About the songs you sing
And the ways that you play
Shouldn´t you be tired of yourself?
I know that I am
Am I just talking to myself?
Staring back at myself
I'm so sick of me
I'm so sick of myself

(by Randy E. Halprin)

The scent of summer rain moves in
Another day awaits -
but I wish it would end
I'm tired of the song sung by birds -
carried in the wind
I wish the sun would fade away and never rise again...
And I watch as the rain pours down  
Drowning out my feelings
Muzzled by the sound of thunder  
Lightning, wind, rain, and pain  
I'm tired of the summer song
I pray for fall again
I want to fall again
I want to fall again
Like leaves carried by autumn's wind
I want to fall again

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Looking back at all this
Trying to find what I had missed
Was it something you said -
that made me wish that I was dead?
"We didn't fall too far away"
You seemed to always say
But what is far when you're ten thousand miles,
in outer space?

You're just a castaway to me  
Another fish in the goddamn sea  
just a castaway to me
Why can't you see?

Something in my head
Twisting, turning, seeing red  
Burning in my bed
What could it be?
Casting stones and casting blame
Always up to your same old games  
I'm tired of the fucking shame  
When I did nothing wrong

You're just a castaway to me she said,
Another fish, another bed  
Just a castaway to me...  
Yeah, I guess it figures  
I said.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

My last New Years Eve,
my last new year free.
It was 1995.
I was in a motel.
We were all drunk.
I remember frolicking on the floor.
What was the song we played for the year?
I think it was "These are the days"
By 10,000 Maniacs.
But that's long past.
How on earth do I remember this crap?

(by Randy E. Halprin)

If I had a penny for every crocodile tear you've cried,
I'd be one hell of a rich guy.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

I could hate you,
but I choose not to
Hold a grudge.
If I can't forgive,
how can I ask
To be forgiven?

(by Randy E. Halprin)

I fell hard.
I fell from the stars.
Landing right on my face.
Expanding time and space.
With a bleeding nose,
I speak only in prose.
You'd never guess -
that is unless
You're an alien like me.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Last night as I went to bed,
and slipped off into sleep.
I dreamt of two souls,
walking a beach.
I could hear their laughter.
I could see the glow of their heads.
They were holding each other.
Tight in their arms.
Kissing each other,
under the stars…
But then I woke up.
I realized I was all alone.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

My eyes.
My pride.
Swallowed deeply inside.
My life I tried.
I was swallowed alive.
I can't say I was surprised.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

I might as well have cancer -
5 to 6 years to live.
My terminal illness,
it takes more than it gives.
Yeah, you can take my life;
you can take my heart,
and take my love.
My terminal illness -
only so long to go.
What's life without hope?
What's life without the person, you truly love?
I'm shackled to a mistake,
my Death sentence will come.
My terminal illness...
When can I go home?

(by Randy E. Halprin)

I hear people talk about God in weird ways.
"He sent that hurricane to punish the gays!"
But Mother Nature,
she don't discriminate -
a mudslide,
a pandemic,
an earthquake.
No, Mother Nature does things her own way.
I hear people shout:
"Oh, it's because of the sin!"
But Mother Nature,
she just grins.
"Those pesky humans don't know what they're thinkin'",
because when she hits
Everyone's on her shit list.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Yeah, I knew.
It would end this way.
And so I'm blue.
The sky is grey.
And our love has been washed away.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Mirror faces long and sad
"I don't know who I am,"
says the man staring back
I try to fake a smile,
but can't
"This world has nothing to give back"
(Though it really owes me nothing)
Red lips blue
You can take it or leave it
Like a dew soaked paper on your door step
I'm dying
I'm dying
I know it's true
Red lips turn to blue
and the oxygen is cut off to my brain
I can no longer feel my face
I can no longer remember my name
Or how to get it back again
I'm dying
I'm dying
Red lips blue
Morning comes to me without an hour's sleep,
and I'm soaked in sweat from the nightmares I keep
I can't breathe
I can't eat
I choke on words that have no meaning
I'm dying
I know it's true
My red lips turning to blue
There's nothing to say, change, or do
Red lips blue
All I have ever had made it's way through.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Time slips by and it's still all the same.
Another decade passes and we still play the game.
We're still playing the same way.
Always playing the blame game.
And we wish it were something else.
Another non-damaged day.
When the media's not telling us lies,
or leading us the wrong way.
It's hard to see the truth in the lies.
It's harder to see the soul through their eyes.
When all they want is death
And all they want is war
All they want is blood
And to see the masses burn,
but all I want is sleep
I'm too tired of all the hate,
my time is running out,
I don't see another way.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

You -
like a lemon
Sour to the taste.
This love -
my life,
that you've disgraced.
Like a broken record that can't be changed,
like a broken heart
You can't replace.
Like a smile that fades
(On the darkest winter day)
And faraway you run away
Leaving a heart behind that's numb.
No, my love, all you do is run.
Not a single happy memory to hang onto.
Not a single kiss can bring to me -
nothing I want to remember
(On this the coldest day of December).
Like a lemon that burns my tongue,
I still wait for summer to come.
I still wait for the summer rain -
to warm my body on this the coldest day.
Where is the sun today?
Why did you disgrace me?
Deface me?
Replace me?
Leave a bad taste in my mouth?
No, there'll be no lemonade,
on this the coldest day of December.
Only a sour taste -
only a sour taste to remember.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

He comes riding into town on a white horse,
'gator skin boots
And a white ten gallon hat.
Singing, "I got money,
got lots of cash.
I'm lookin' to buy some love or a piece of ass.
I'll buy anything you got.
I'll turn it into a profit.
What is it you want?
An iPod for your pocket?"
He sips from his petroleum cup,
black gold with a little bit of cream.
While the rest of the world starves,
and the rest of the world screams.
He's got a star spangled coat,
red and white chaps.
Likes to scream 'yeehaw!'
With spurs to match.
And he'll dig them into you deeper
Than a fighting rooster
Don't call him 'Sir'.
Don't call him 'Mister'.
"I'm a cowboy son.
One real mean sonofagun.
I can ruin the world faster
Than you can say the word 'fun'."

(by Randy E. Halprin)

You punish me for another's hate.
It's my heart that you blame.
It's my heart that you break.
What's so sad is you didn't even hesitate.
But now it's just too late.
You lied to me.
Disguised the truth to me.
Didn't you say you believe in honesty?
What comes now?
What comes next?
I can never look at you the same.
It will never be the same.
It's me that you've shamed.
I feel so lame…
And foolish.
What can I do,
when it's me that you've punished?
Meanwhile the world around me laughs.
We will never again cross paths.
It will never be the same.
It can never be the same.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Sometimes I wake up.
Sometimes my mind's made up on this.
Sometimes I'm so fed up.
Sometimes I'm so sick of this life,
and I'm so afraid.
And I can't embrace the thought of losing it all,
or taking it away from myself.
And I can't throw the towel in that easy.
No, it's never that easy.
Sometimes I wake up.
Sometimes my mind's made up to just lay back down.
To just lay back down and sleep away this life...
But then the sun breaks through,
into this lonely room,
and the thought of you burns strong in my mind.
It's like my first cup of coffee...
And then a song breaks through,
and my thoughts of you won't let me bring myself back down.
Though sometimes I try.
And sometimes I cry.
And sometimes I wonder why life can be this hard.
It's the paths we've made,
and all the bad mistakes,
that weigh us down in life.
Yet, my hope burns strong.
And I will sing a new song in the hopes of me and you.
Even though sometimes,
I wonder why...

(by Randy E. Halprin)

Where are you?
Are you home?
Where are you?
I'm alone.
Are you fine?
'Cause I'm not.
I'm alone.
Pick up the phone.
Summer has never felt this cold.
I called like I was told.
Pick up the phone.
I don't want to be in the dark.
Don't leave me in the dark!
Have you no heart?

(by Randy E. Halprin)

16 past 10
Another night,
Saturday night and nothing to do
Another night,
another lost night feeling blue.
(and Robert Smith sang drip drip drip)
What else is there to do,
when all I can do is think of you?
As night turns (drip drip drip)
Into you (drip drip drip)
As Robert Smith sings drip drip drip..
I'm falling apart.
Saturday night.
Where's my heart,
this Saturday night?
(And Robert Smith sang drip drip drip drip drip drip)
16 past 10
16 past 10
It begins…
It all ends…
Why can't it all end?

(by Randy E. Halprin)

I miss the cool air.
I miss the cool breeze.
I miss the crinkling sound of autumn's leaves under our feet.
I miss the blue skies,
soft and light.
We'd put on our sweaters,
walk around until the night fell around us.
Then, we'd tumble to the ground.
Rolling around.
Making out.
As falling stars surrounded us.
I miss the laughter,
and the echo of our joy as it fell down our cheeks.
I miss those tears.
I miss my youth.
I miss those years...
I miss those memories of past.

(by Randy E. Halprin)

As long as we've existed,
this human race.
We will still hurt each other,
spit upon our own face.
We'll bomb in the name of righteousness.
Destroy in the name of God.
Hate we will embrace.
As long as we've been around,
our human race.
We've still not learned to show through actions,
how love is our saving grace.
We fight to preserve our honor.
We kill to show we're true.
And pride comes first -
over me over you.
My hands will fit perfect in yours,
fingers interlocked in yours.
My arms will reach around you,
to form the perfect hug.
It's not too late so start all over,
it's not too late to start a new.
To throw out war.
To say, "I love you".

(by Randy E. Halprin)

One nation,
in disguise.
One nation,
liberty and lies.
My lady,
she has blinded eyes.
Her green dress flows,
as the hard wind blows,
and those with hard ones,
want to rip off her clothes.
Beat and bruise.
Do as we say,
not as we do.
But if we are truly free -
and "freedom" is the world's destiny.
Why do we abuse Democracy?
Like liberty is someone to be whored out.
As she screams and shouts.
Falling death upon some of our ears.
'Cause when those towers fell,
silently the world stood still.
The gates of hell were opened,
like a chasm of chaos in our hearts.
Two hundred years of progress,
took us five hundred years backwards -
into the dark.
Then suddenly we felt we had the right.
To attack other nations like a thief in the night.
To force our culture -
our ways,
on those who have been brought up in thousands of years
of what they believe.
The toil,
for their oil.
The children screamed,
"Why are those planes bombing me?"
While back at the ranch,
the Figure Head,
the God Head,
(Who talks to God himself...)
Says, "This is to protect our right to be free!"
"Free?" My lady screamed.
You can spy on me.
Take my rights from me.
And somehow I'm supposed to believe,
this is how the world should be?
Liberty, she cries, "They're raping me!
They're killing my children!"
And we...
We just turn on our T.V.s and rub our fattened bellies and say,
"Boy, isn't freedom great?"

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