A very interesting day it has been...So, they've started this 'heat advisory' stuff where they shut down recreation for the outside at 1pm, until 6pm - never mind that it's only 78 degrees outside and we don't start seeing extreme heat until June!
So, what happens is this: you have three sections of 14 people - each section wanting to go outside - and there just isn't enough time in the day to get everyone out. And how do they try to remedy that probem? By addressing the officers' extreme laziness? No! Instead, they feel the answer is to start rec at 4.30am!! In theory, that should allow at least 4 rounds of recreation before they shut the outside down...Did that happen? Nope! The guards only did about 2 1/2 rounds of rec outside, and now you still have 30 plus inmates waiting to go outside in the evening.
Second shift has to have recreation finished by 10pm, which means that some people just aren't going to get theirs...It's a mess, and until the problem is rectified (which, let's face it, it hasn't been addressed properly in several years, and I don't think it ever will!) this tense and frustrating situation will continue the way it is.
Going into the day in such chaos, I had to just push on and put my head down and get to work. I wanted to finish up my memoir, and outside of a few chapter clean-ups and further editing, I can happily and proudly say, "IT'S FINISHED!!" I am mailing it off to my Webmaster this week, and hopefully it will be on my website in the next few weeks.
The final chapters were extremely difficult to write and relive, and it brought back a lot of pain and remorse, but all I can hope for is to be forgiven...I hope that people won't see things in black and white, and will instead see the huge swathe of grey that has been my life. I thank everyone who has encouraged me and tried to understand - it means more than you'll ever know.
Otherwise, it's been a lovely day. It started off a bit grey and looked like a pop up shower was going to happen, but soon the clouds burned off and the sun has been out and the sky is just beautiful! East Texas skies get some of those big puffy cotton ball-like clouds, and it's gorgeous.
I'm still waiting on recreation...I doubt I'll get it, but who knows?
Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.
April 21st, 2019
It's a lovely spring Easter day! I woke up to sunlight pouring through my window and it was a great way to start the morning. I jumped out of bed, and started my day...
I haven't been doing much writing lately for several reasons...One, the days leading to and after my co-defendant's pending execution (he received a stay, thank goodness) filled me with anxiety. It was more emotionally tolling that I expected. Then, I came down with the 'flu, which started with a splitting headache. The headache was gone the very next day, and I felt fine until it came back – full force – and then I was as sick as a dog for the next few days. It spread through B-Pod like wild fire, and the entire pod is either sick right now, or going through the last of it.
I'm feeling much better now though, and I plan on returning to my memoir tomorrow and finishing it all up this week. Then, we'll do a final edit and it will be complete! I do want to rework the structure of the prologue, and the first chapter, to fit with the epilogue I have in mind. Then, once this is all out of the way, I'll finish the radio play I've been writing with my girlfriend, and then start on my second memoir about better and happier times I had as a child.
In other news, the warden came through about a week ago and said that in early May he plans on allowing death row a 7 day recreation schedule...When I first came to death row on June 12th, 2003, we used to have a 7 day recreation schedule but only received one hour each day, and it was pretty effective. In 2005 I think they changed it, or some time around that year, but it went to a five day schedule with a rotating day off throughout the week. This, too, was an effective rec schedule. Then, three years ago an idiot Captain tinkered with the formula and it's been a mess ever since. I think the warden wants to get back to something that works.
I'll say this about our new warden...He can be a bit of an ass-hole, but he runs things with military efficiency, and expects the rules to be followed. But in recent months, I've also seen a fair side to him where he has taken some of our complaints to heart, and has tried to get things fixed if it's a serious issue. I think one of the biggest problems is that none of the ranking officers or administrators communicate very well with each other, and their leadership skills are lacking, so things do descent into massive screw ups and chaos.
Here's to hoping a seven day rec schedule will make things a little better...It's Passover now, and today seems easier at least. So, Happy Holidays to all.