Falling Down (Ch. 19) - Randy Halprin
Randy Halprin
"We tend to see a person in the moment, not as the journey they travelled to get here." Kat Lehmann
Memoirs
FALLING DOWN : PART TWO (1996)
Chapter 19
(by Randy E. Halprin)
A Memoir
The following day the weather was just as bad. I stayed with the Naders, but on Friday, the weather had cleared and whilst it was still cold, it was decent enough to venture back outside. My friends weren't returning to OBI until Sunday, so I asked Mrs Nader if it was okay for me to stay until they left, then on Monday, I'd be gone. Once she said it was okay, I called my dad up and he told me he'd arranged a bus ticket and $60 I could pick up at the station.
“This is the last time we're helping you.” He said.
I was still short on money though. I owed Jim $20 dollars, and I needed some food money. I didn't know what to do. Before I left to meet up with everyone, I saw a camcorder out of the corner of my eye, in the Nader's living room...A small thought popped into my head, and I tried to push it out before my mind could entertain it any further...But then, this same thought took hold of me like some idiotic urge that persisted in the same way a bad itch would do...Before I knew it I was telling myself that there was a pawn shop just up the street...I could pawn it off and then when I got back to Lexington, I could get a job, go back to Louisville, pay the pawn off and return the camera to the Naders. They wouldn't notice if I was careful about it and no-one would be hurt over it either, or so I naïvely thought.
I snatched the camera up, jogged up the street, and pawned it off in my own name; I think they gave me close to $180 for it. I put the ticket and the money in my pocket, and then met up with my friends. When I saw Jim, I gave him the $20 I owed him, and puzzled, he asked how I got the money so quickly...I told him my dad had wired me some money.
By Saturday, all of the snow had melted, and we all spent the day together; I really enjoyed the time with them, although I was extremely sad because I wondered if it would be the last time I'd ever see them again. I started to think about the other friends at school who I knew I would never see again. In the evening, Jim and Tracy had to do something with their mom, and Amy asked if it would be okay to walk around Bardstown Road with me. It was strange, at first, because it was our first time together alone since our split in May. Soon, her arm was locked into mine and she leaned into me. I told myself it was just the cold, so I let her do it. We walked up and down the road a few times, killing time, and stopped in front of the Krogers grocery store, and then she unexpectedly hugged me tightly.
“I'm afraid I'll never see you again, and since we're on good terms now, I think this is the least I could do. We never had a proper ending.”
I looked at her and old feelings from our relationship stirred back to life and I was suddenly sad. A part of my mind told me that had we not split I wouldn't have gotten so wrapped up in Tracy, and wouldn't be in the mess I was in...I'm not going to lie, I wanted to kiss her right there and then, and see what it would bring, and I half way think she was inviting me to do so, but then an overwhelming sense of guilt washed over me and I pulled away.
“Yeah...I'm sure we'll be able to hang out again. I'm happy we're cool.”
I walked her back to Tracy's house and went my own way...
As I was waiting for Tracy and Jim to return so that I could say my last goodbyes, I decided to walk up to the movie theater by Bardstown Mall. I was still curious about the monkey poster, and I had some money...Why not go in and see the film?
I paid for a ticket and had my mind blown! It was a post-apocalyptic-time-travel-is-it-real-or-insanity, film! It was so good that as soon as the movie ended, I walked out of the theater, bought a ticket for the next showing, and watched it all over again. When it finished, I walked back to Tracy and Jim's place, and everyone was out on the porch. I couldn't stop talking about the film, but trying to explain it only made the movie seem more confusing. So I summed it up, saying...
“Well, all I'm saying is it's badass!”
We all said our goodbyes, and Tracy and I split away from everyone else...We stood by an old tree, bare and twisted up by age and weather.
“I'm really sorry about everything, and I just want you to know I love you, and wish you all the best.” I told her.
She kissed me quickly – just a peck on the lips – and said, “I really hope you can get it all figured out, Randy...You're a good guy. It just isn't the right time for us, and I'm not sure it ever was.”
Well, that hurt...
“Yeah...we can still hang out, right? I asked.
“Of course! But “us”...that has to end.”
“I know.”
She pulled away from me and I watched as she went back into her house. I took a deep breath and walked back towards the Nader's, head full of hurt and confusion.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Monday morning...It was time to get my things together and get down town to catch the Grey Hound bus, but the house erupted into chaos.
“Where is the god-damn camcorder?” Mr Nader yelled. I could hear Mrs Nader yelling something back, and they began to search all over the house. My adrenaline spiked and I started to panic a bit. I didn't want them to find my extra cash or ask me about it, so I hid the money in the tape deck of my cassette player. Sure enough, Mr Nader began to yell at me, “I know you did something with it! Nobody else would have!”
“I don't know what you're talking about!” I lied.
“Let me see your wallet; I'll know if you've got money you didn't have.”
I pulled out my wallet – just a few dollars.
“I swear to God, if you stole it, I'll beat your ass!” He said.
“I didn't! I don't even know what's going on,” I lied again.
I heard them talking about checking pawn shops, so I ran to where they kept their phone book and pulled out the section that had the information for pawn shops on Bardstown Road, and I flushed the torn up pages down the toilet.
Soon, the storm quietened down, and they began to talk about people they had over for New Years, and wondering if they had stolen it. I seemed to be in the clear, and so I asked, “If everything is good here, I need to be going.”
Mrs Nader said bye to me, and I quickly left, suitcases in hand, and headed to the DART bus stop. I caught the #17 back down town and walked the rest of the way to the station. I decided to call Emma and make sure I could crash at her place...
“Yeah, but just for a few days.”
“That's all I need.”
“Okay. I'll see you then.”
When the bus arrived back in Lexington, I took a cab down town and walked the couple of blocks to Emma's place. Her dad answered the door and let me in. I told her what was going on with being expelled, and she offered to make the drive to Oneida to get my stuff, which I thought was incredibly kind of her, but I told her I'd just give it to Wesley.
“Want some pizza?” I offered.
“Yeah!”
I called Poppa John's Pizza, and when it arrived we went to her room and settled in for the night.