Falling Down (Ch. 29) - Randy Halprin
Randy Halprin
"We tend to see a person in the moment, not as the journey they travelled to get here." Kat Lehmann
Memoirs
**Warning...contains offensive language, sexual situations, and reference to drug use**
FALLING DOWN : PART TWO (1996)
Chapter 29
(by Randy E. Halprin)
A Memoir
During my time at OBI, I had a casual friend named Vee. She had gone out with a couple of my friends, and was teased behind her back for being a “prude.” Before attending OBI, she'd lived a very sheltered life – her family being extremely strict, to the extent she wasn't allowed to wear make-up when she was home in New York. She had a natural beauty though, and I think it made some of the other girls at school a bit jealous, because guys would stumble over themselves to be the one who “got her.”
I was sitting at home one afternoon watching MTV when the phone rang...I answered straight away, and it was a complete surprise to hear Vee's voice on the other end! I hadn't spoken to her since I left for Christmas break and it was so good to hear from her.
“Hey! How'd you get my number?” I asked.
“Jason gave it to me, but I had to work up the nerve to call you. He told me your apartment is near the Grey Hound bus station, so I was wondering if you wanted to meet with me before I go back to school?”
“That's going to be on a Sunday, right?” I said.
“Actually, I'm coming in on a Friday, and staying at the Red Roof Inn off some road...New Circle I think. Then I'll go to the Grey Hound station to take a bus to school, on Sunday. Do you know how to get there? Is it close enough?”
“It's right across the street from where I live! I've stayed at that hotel,” I said.
I suddenly had an idea and I didn't think she'd go for it, but I asked anyway...
“How about you crash at my place instead? It'll save your parents money, and I can take you to some places I hang out...Show you around.”
“I don't know...”
“All they can say is no...My room-mate, Ronnie, is a security guard and is almost never home. You can stay in my room, and I'll sleep on the couch. I don't mind. Just ask them.”
“Okay. Let me see and I'll call you back in a bit.”
She hung up and I didn't think I'd hear anything again, but as I was watching an episode of 'The Real World', the phone rang! I lunged for it and said, “Hello?”
“You're not going to believe this! I'm shocked!” She blurted... “They said “yes”!”
“Wow...” I was surprised.
“I've got to check in a couple of times, and they weren't sold on the idea until I told them your room mate was a security guard. That did it...I guess they feel safe with the idea.”
She told me she'd be flying into Lexington Airport on Friday afternoon, and before hanging up, I told her I'd be there to meet her and we'd have a blast!
I told Ronnie my plan and he said, “Well, you're extremely lucky because I'm going to my parents' house over the weekend, so the place is yours.”
By the time Friday came, I had gone grocery shopping, cleaned the place up a bit, and told Bill I'd be hanging out with a friend from school over the weekend. “Stay away?” He asked.
“Well, just here. I'm going to take her to Tolly Ho, and if I see you there, I'll introduce y'all.”
“That's cool. I'll stay away. Don't want to mess up your romantic weekend.”
“Dude, we're just friends, and if you knew her, you'd know there will not be any hanky panky. Hasn't even crossed my mind.”
I took a taxi cab to the airport and I helped her with her things. When we got to my apartment I told her, “My room is yours. I'll sleep on the couch.”
“Are you sure? I don't mind sleeping on the couch.”
“Nah. Go ahead, get comfortable. I like to stay up late and watch Alternative Nation on MTV anyway.”
“Are we going to do anything tonight?”
“That's up to you. I had stuff planned for Saturday, but wasn't sure if you'd be tired from the trip. By the way, you better call your parents and let them know you're here!”
She made a call, talked for a bit, and hung up. “I'm good. Let's do something.”
“Wanna go see what's playing at the Kentucky Theater?” I asked. She asked me what that was and I explained it was an old 1920s era theater down town, that had been renovated. She sounded excited about checking it out, so I told her it was in walking distance. She told me she wanted to freshen up first, so I sat on the couch and watched TV until she was done.
When she came back into the living room I was surprised that she had put on a touch of make up. She looked gorgeous! “You ready?” I asked. She said she was, and off we went! As we walked down town, we chatted. There were a lot of rumors about why I was kicked out of school, why Tracy and I broke up, and the general state of my life. “Well,” I said. “It's not where I really want to be in my life...I wanted to graduate. There are things I wanted to do, and I feel a bit lost and upset at myself, but I'm trying. It's just hard when you feel like no one has your back or supports you. Yeah, I messed up, but it wasn't that bad! I'm confused and hurt about all of it.”
We walked up Winchester Road and I told her the story about the gay hook up spot in the New Book Store. She fell into me, laughing! “I can't believe they have places like that!”
“Oh, believe me, they exist.” I said.
“When we walk back, I want to see it!”
“No...No way! You're not going in that place.”
She pushed me and said, “C'mon! Let me just go in there and look around. I've never seen one of those places.”
“We'll see...” I said.
We got down town and walked by Steak Fest...It was booming with business and she said, “Ohh, let's go there and eat!”
“Nope. Anywhere but there.”
“Why?”
After telling her the story, she couldn't believe it. “Yeah...I mean, maybe the situation could've been handled better, but they were wrong!” She said.
We reached the Kentucky Theater and the next showing for 'Dusk 'til Dawn' was the midnight feature. But a movie called, 'A Clockwork Orange' was starting in a few minutes. I had vaguely heard about it so I asked her, “You want to see that?”
“Sure. It looks kinda old, though.”
I bought the tickets, and we went inside. In the lobby I asked her if she wanted a snack, and she noticed that they sold Clearly Canadian, a flavoured seltzer water, and asked if I'd buy her a bottle – I got us both a cherry flavour, and a huge bag of Sour Patch Kids candy. “How can you eat those?” she asked, scrunching up her face.
A Clockwork Orange was not a 'date night' kind of movie! Violent, misogynistic, and bizarre! We left the theater and I apologised. “I'm sorry...I didn't know it was going to have rape and all of that craziness in it.”
“Yeah, well, we can say we've seen it now.” She said, shaking her head.
It was getting late and my instinct was to walk up towards Tolly Ho, but I decided to put that off until Saturday. Instead, we chose to head back to my place and call it a night. We were nearing the New Book Store and again, she insisted on going inside.
“Okay...but we are not going where the booths are. Just the front of the store!”
We walked in and the guy in the cage asked his customary, “You guys 18?” Vee was only 17, and I answered “yes” for both of us. I could've sworn he winked at me like, “You dog, you...” for bringing a girl in.
She looked at the shelves with porn videos and magazines, sex toys and God knows what else, in pure amazement!
“People are into strange things.” she said. “Yeah...I think I'm ready to go.”
We left, and walked back to my apartment. When we got in I asked her if she wanted something to eat. “A sandwich will be fine.” She said. I pulled out some cold cuts and made us some turkey sandwiches, and carried the plates into the living room where we sat on the couch eating, and watching TV. After Vee finished eating, she told me she was going to take a shower and go to bed.. I said “goodnight,” and she headed off.
I had been watching MTV for about an hour when she came back and asked me to come to the room...I got up, stood at the door and said, “Yeah, what's up?”
“Will you come and cuddle with me?” She asked. My heart started to beat crazily...Was I hallucinating aurally?
“Nothing crazy...just lay next to me. It's always seemed like a nice thing to try.”
I stood there, wondering if she was messing with my head, until she said, “I'm serious!”
“Sure,” I replied. I climbed onto the bed – still fully dressed, and eased up next to her. She threw an arm around me, nuzzled into me, and quickly fell asleep. I laid there thinking this was a strange experience...Nice, but strange.
The next morning we woke up and got ready for the day. I told her we were going to the Fayette Mall for half the day, and then I wanted to take her to Tolly Ho's. We left early in the morning on the city bus, and when we got to the mall we spent time walking around and talking. We ate at the food court, and she started asking me questions about Tracy. Then, she said, “You know, after you and Amy broke up, there were three girls vying for your attention.”
“Three? I knew about Angie – she was kind of obvious about it with the mix tape and everything...And of course I knew about Tracy, but who was the third person?” I asked.
“She only stared at me. “No, seriously, who was the third one?”
“Me!” She said. “You never even noticed me!”
“You were a friend!” I said, practically spitting my food out...
“Yeah, I don't know...I just get a bit sad thinking about it because I wonder if you'd be in this messed up situation had you been with Angie or me.”
“I never really gave it any thought concerning Angie. I mean, I was attracted to her, but I don't know...It just feels like I've always been with Tracy. Even having been sexually involved with Amy, it just feels like the only girl I've ever really known is Tracy.”
“Yeah...” She said, quietly.
“What?”
“Eh, never mind. Let's change the subject.”
We finished eating and I told her we needed to hop on the bus to take us back down town. When we got back to down town, we got off,and I told her we were going to walk up near the University of Kentucky campus.
“This place is a bit bonkers, but the chilli cheese fries are incredible!” I told her.
We passed Cut Corner Records first, and she wanted to go inside. She looked around and picked out a few CDs, bought them, and then we left. When we got to Tolly Ho's it was packed...The Magic card players were at a round table, yelling at each other, music was blaring from the Juke Box, and the place was jumping. I scanned the tables and booths to see if I could see Bill, and I was relieved he wasn't there. “Pick a table” I told her. “I'm going to go order us some plates. Want something to drink?”
“Pepsi.” She replied.
I went up and ordered two plates of chilli cheese fries, a Pepsi, and a Mountain Dew for myself. I came back with the drinks and told her they'd shout my name when the food was ready.
“All of these people are college students?” she asked me.
“Yeah. I think most of them are. I usually don't like a lot of noise and crowded places, but this place has some magic to it. I can't explain it.”
Just as I said that, Bill entered the restaurant with someone – obviously a guy, but he was wearing make-up. He noticed us, waved, and walked to the table. My heart dropped and I thought, “Dear God, Bill, don't make a spectacle!” He introduced the person with him as his new room mate, Kristy. Vee gave them both a strange look and then Bill said, “I'll tell you where I live in a day or two. Enjoy yourself!” Vee looked at me and said, “Was Kristy a dude? There was like, five o'clock shadow going on there.”
“I've come to find that Lexington is a very strange place, and it's wise to never make assumptions.” I said, and she laughed.
My name was hollered, and I went to pick up our food. When I came back, her eyes got big and she said, “That is too much food!”
“Well, just eat what you can, and as my dad would say, “We'll put the rest of that shit in a doggie bag.”
We ate, talked, and had a really good time. I didn't want it to end, and as if reading my mind, she said, “You know, I'm half tempted to say “Screw OBI, and stay here with you”.”
“You'd never be able to do that, your parents would come and drag you back to New York, and probably try to say I kidnapped you or something.”
“They definitely would do that!” She laughed.
I got a styrofoam box to put the rest of the fries in, and we finished off our drinks and left. Bill saw me, and threw me a 'thumbs up', waved, and I waved back.
“What time do you want to leave for the bus tomorrow?” I asked.
“I don't know, three or four?” She replied, as we walked back home.
It was around 9 or 10 when we got in and she said she was going to take a shower. I put the food in the refrigerator, and went to the living room to turn on the TV – the movie, 'Little Giants' was on, and I was watching that until she came out in a long t-shirt with her hair pulled back in a scrunchy...She sat down and leaned into me as we watched the movie together.
“That was pretty funny!” She said.
“Yeah, it was better than I thought it would be, but you know, Rick Moranis has never disappointed me. You should see that movie with him and Steve Martin, 'My Blue Heaven'. It's great!”
She told me she was going to bed and I told her goodnight...But before she got up, she kissed me on the cheek and my heart skipped a beat. “Goodnight” she said.
“Goodnight,” I replied.
I can't remember the next movie that came on, but like the night before, Vee called me into the room. I stood in the doorway and asked what was up, and she told me to cuddle with her again. I crawled up on the bed, expecting her to throw her arm around me, instead, she said, “Under the covers, this time.”
When I pulled the blanket back my heart stopped...She was completely naked! My mind raced. “I, uh...are you sure about this?” I asked.
“I think so.”
“You think so? Vee, I need you to be sure...I don't want this to happen if you're not comfortable.”
“I'm totally comfortable with you...If it's going to be with anyone, I'm picking you.”
I told her I needed to get a condom and hopped off the bed...I half expected her to change her mind as I was undressing, but instead, she fumbled with the condom, trying to put it on me. I helped, and began kissing her...Before I pushed inside her I asked her again and again and she said, “I'm sure.”
“When it was over she laid on top of me and then she said she wanted to take a shower to clean herself up.
I laid there, trying to convince myself that all of this was a dream. Vee...Vee! The shy prude girl from school! I jumped out of bed and went to knock on the door of the bathroom...I think I was trying to prove that this really happened.
“Yeah?” She answered.
“Can I come in with you?” I asked.
“Yeah!”
I entered the shower and was washed each other, dried off, and climbed back into bed. The next morning I woke up and she was out of bed and watching TV in the living room. Her eyes were puffy and red, and I was worried she was regretting the night before...I asked her if she was okay, and she said, “I really don't want to go back.”
“You have to...”
“Do I?”
“You do...” I said, sitting next to her and pulling her onto my lap. I stroked her hair and convinced her to get ready. I was going to take her to lunch and then we'd take a cab to the Grey Hound bus station. I helped her pack her things and then we walked to a nearby shopping center and ate at Woolworths. They offered an all day breakfast, so we had a brunch. After we ate we headed back to my place and I called the taxi cab.
When we got to the Grey Hound bus station I told her my brother should be showing up at any time and I needed to spend a little time with him. Other kids arrived and began to fill the station up, and shortly after Wesley arrived I hugged him, asked him how he was doing, and he seemed to be okay. He had no time for me, however, and ran off with his friends to stir up mischief. The kid was a train wreck, and yet I was always the one getting into trouble!
I went back to where Vee was sitting, and she grabbed my hand. A couple of people looked at us curiously, a look that asked, “Are you guys a thing?” But neither of us said anything. I don't remember us saying much to each other that afternoon, but when it was time for her to board the bus, she said, “I love you.”
“Love you too!” I replied.
“No you don't,” she said. “I mean, I'm in love with you.”
“I do love you.” I said.
“You still love Tracy. That's okay.”
I looked down at the ground. She was right...Even as fantastic as the weekend was, and how it seemed like the possibilities were endless for us in that moment, Tracy still had my heart...
“I love you as a friend.”
“I know. It's okay...I can love you in my own quiet way.” A tear rolled down her cheek.
The bus driver yelled for the students to get on the bus, and she held my hands for a second, kissed my cheek and said, “Please stay in touch with me.”
“I will.” I said. I watched as she climbed on the bus alone. Other kids followed after, and my heart sank as the bus pulled away. I never saw her or spoke to her again.
I look back at that moment in my life, one of those “sliding doors” moments where another choice, another path could've taken me in a different direction. I had many of those and have a couple more, but I do often wonder where Vee is in her life...where we could've been had I only kept in touch. Instead, I ignored the whisper of the universe, and kept on falling.