Falling Down (Ch. 4) - Randy Halprin
Randy Halprin
"We tend to see a person in the moment, not as the journey they travelled to get here." Kat Lehmann
Memoirs
FALLING DOWN : PART ONE (1995)
Chapter 4
(by Randy E. Halprin)
A Memoir
Early the next morning, Jason helped me to load my stuff into a van. I wasn't sure who would be driving me to London but I hoped it wouldn't be Mr Underwood. I was afraid I'd give him a piece of my mind and I was still in shock after the events of the past few days. I just couldn't wrap my head around the suicide thing...
Mr Harold showed up and said, “Ready?” I told him I was, and I climbed into the back of the van with my things. He told me to call my dad at the bus stop in London, and he'd give me directions on what steps I needed to take next.
The 45 minute drive was taken in complete silence as I watched the Kentucky hills shoot by in a breeze. I'd never been on my own like this before, so I was entering into a situation that I knew I'd have to adapt to quickly. I was nervous, but like going to Oneida for the very first time, I was a bit excited too. I'd never been a thrill seeker...In spite of my impulsiveness, I was actually cautious in new situations, and I liked to dip my toes in the water first, see how it felt, and if it felt “safe”, I'd dive in...One time, when I was a little kid, our day care center took us all to a public swimming pool in Arlington, Texas. I loved to swim, and could be a bit of a show off, so one of the staff members encouraged me to jump off the high diving board...I looked at it from the shallow end of the pool and it looked as tall as a sky scraper. I told her, “Nuh-uh!” And she told me if anyone could do it, it would be me. I climbed out of the water, pulled up my swim shorts, and headed to the board. I began to climb the ladder, and as I was inching further to the top, I became scared...My little body trembling...I reached the top of the board and slowly stepped towards the ledge. I froze! Everyone below me looked like ants! A lifeguard yelled, “Go ahead and jump! You've got this!” I shook my head and was petrified! He yelled again, “Jump, kid! Jump!” And soon, everyone in the pool began to splash the water and yell, “Jump! Jump! Jump!” It was now or never...
I closed my eyes and pushed myself off the board, letting out a high pitched, “AHHHHHHHHH! All the way into the water. I went down under, quickly swam to the top and let out a “Woohoo!” After that, you couldn't keep me off that high diving board!
Anyway, the van pulled into a Burger King parking lot that also served as the Grey Hound Bus stop for London, Kentucky. Mr Harold helped me unload my stuff and said, “Good luck. Pray. Jesus will help you, Randy.” Yeah, but y'all won't, I thought. He told me he'd watch my stuff as I went into the Burger King and picked up my bus ticket. After I returned he climbed back into the van and drove off. I walked to a nearby pay phone and collect called my dad.
“I'm at the bus stop, dad,” I told him.
“Good. When you get into Lexington, have a Taxi cab take you to the Red Roof Inn on New Circle Road. I'm still working on finding a place for you to stay. Call us when you get there and hopefully I'll have some more information for you.”
He hung up and I waited on the bus.
The Grey Hound finally arrived and the driver helped me load my stuff into the belly of the bus. I remember us having to really shove my trunk into the compartment, and then I gave him the ticket and climbed aboard. It was completely empty, so I found a seat and stared out the window until we reached Lexington. The bus station was also on New Circle Road, so it wouldn't be a long drive to get to the hotel. I called a taxi cab, and the driver helped me get everything into the trunk of the cab, and it took us about ten minutes to get to the Red Roof Inn.
I ran into the lobby, gave them my name, and they gave me a room key. Then, the taxi driver helped me get everything to my room. The first thing I did was call my girlfriend. She had told me she'd planned to take the day off so I was relieved when she answered the phone. I told her where I was and she said she'd be there some time in the afternoon. After we hung up I decided to watch MTV, and I remember it being the first time I ever heard Alanis Morrissette's “You Oughtta Know,” and I liked it.
I felt hungry, so I decided to walk to a nearby fast food place and grabbed a burger and tater tots. I took the food back to the hotel room, and vegged out on more MTV. I remembered to call my dad and he told me he thought he'd found a place, but was working out the details with the manager because I was only 17, and couldn't legally sign a lease for an apartment. He'd have to fax them a signature as well as pay for the deposit, so he told me to call back first thing in the morning and he'd know everything for sure. It was weird that everything between me and my dad was so business-like now...Having spent a lot of time with my dad on business errands and in his office, I knew both “dad” and “business man,” and I was clearly dealing with the business version.
A few more hours passed and finally there was a knock on the hotel door. I looked out the curtains and saw Tracy with two of her guy friends. I opened the door and she lunged at me and held me tightly. We kissed, and she told her friends she wanted a few minutes alone with me. They were cool with it and walked away. I closed the door and she said to me, “I can't do this all of the time, Randy.” I told her that was fine and I'd probably come to Louisville on the weekends...A bus ticket was only $10, so it wouldn't be difficult. We talked and kissed a bit, and she told me she was hungry, so we caught up with her friends and went to get something to eat at a nearby Denny's...I paid for it and we headed back. It was late evening by this time, and Tracy and her friends had to get back to Louisville, so they dropped me off at the hotel before leaving.
The next morning I called my dad and he told me he'd found a place...A little studio apartment. He'd paid for the first six months rent, and it was up to me to pay for it after that. He told me that he and mom would be sending me some stuff via UPS – things that would help me to get settled in, and he also wired me some more money until bi-weekly “allowances” would come. “The only reason we're sending you money is because we feel obligated to take care of you until you turn 18. I still suggest you get a job.” I remember thinking, “Geeze, I didn't know I was an 'obligation'...I thought I was your son...” He gave me all of the information I needed, and it was some place called Continental Square Apartments – I had no idea where it was. I called a taxi cab, and when it arrived the driver asked where I was headed. “Well, hell,” he said, “that's right across the street!”
We loaded up the cab and literally crossed New Circle Road to a small apartment complex. We got everything out of the trunk of the cab, in front of the manager's office, and I paid the fare before heading into the office. Inside was a pretty blonde girl in her 20s...”Randy?” She asked. “Yeah,” I said.
“Got yourself in quite a mess, huh?”
“That's debatable. I just have to deal with it, I guess.”
She told me she needed me to sign some papers, so I signed them and she helped me to take everything to my little apartment. We carried the trunk upstairs and she pulled out the keys to my new place. It was small! There was a fridge and a stove, as well as a table, two chairs and a pull out bed/sofa. On the side of the closet was the bathroom. She wished me “good luck” and told me to call her if I needed anything, and I thanked her before she left. I just looked around, then sat on the couch. I felt really lost in that moment...Shocked at how fast everything had spiralled out of control, and hurt at how quickly everyone had abandoned me. Screw it! I thought...I'm jumping off the high dive! It's a new start!
Something funny happened as I began to unpack my things and get settled in. There was a knock at the door, I answered it, and standing in front of me were two Mormon dudes from the Church of the Latter Day Saints. They were fairly young, and didn't look threatening in any way, so when they asked if they could come in I allowed them to enter. They told me they noticed someone had moved in (What do these people do? Sit in a van and stake out apartment complexes waiting for new and unsuspecting victims? Instead of Buffalo Bill, you've got to deal with rabid Mormons!) and they asked me where I was from. I gave them a run down of my story, and they told me “their” Jesus would never do that to me. They asked me if they could pray for me. What the hell, why not? Why not sprinkle a little more craziness into the events of recent days?
They prayed, and asked if they could come back in a few days, so I said, “Sure,” and then they left. My dad had wired me a sizeable amount of money to get me on my feet and I didn't know how long it would take until they sent supplies, so I decided to walk to a nearby shopping center that had a Woolworths, and a grocery. I bought some utensils, glasses, plates, and some food. I took everything back to the apartment and put it all away. I wanted to explore the area a bit and I knew I wasn't too far from down town, so I headed out. I was happy to discover that I was near a movie theater and down town was the Old Kentucky Theater – an old 1920s era theater, renovated for concerts and movies.
Across the street from the apartment complex was a Subway Sandwich shop, and I applied for work after seeing a “Hiring” sign in the window. I talked to the manager briefly, and she told me to come back in a few days for an interview. I said I would. Meanwhile, I spent the next couple of days getting settled in, and I called Tracy on a payphone, and told her that I'd be in Louisville as soon as I could. Then I called a friend of ours and he said he'd actually drive me there, but I'd have to find my own way back. I was cool with that.
On the first Saturday morning at my new place, there was a knock at the door...”Shit,” I thought...The Mormons! I went absolutely still so they didn't hear me or think I was at home. The knock came again, and I looked out my window to see who was there when I noticed someone who looked familiar...It kind of looked like Mr Nicks from school, and he was walking away! I ran out the door and down the second floor stairs to the parking lot, and as he was getting into his car, I yelled, “Mr Nicks! Mr Nicks!” He stopped and smiled, “Randy! We thought we might've had the wrong place.” His family was waiting in the car and his son jumped out and ran to hug me. I was completely shocked and surprised they had come to see me.
“How did you know I was here?” I asked.
“Your friend, Jason, gave us the address. We're leaving OBI and headed to Ohio. I thought we'd stop by and see how you were doing, and bring you a box of goodies. His family and my friends had all put together a box of foods and little “gifts”...I was overwhelmed. Mr Nicks was just as shocked, and even disgusted, at how the school had treated me. His view of Jesus didn't fit the extreme fundamental view of the school's, and whilst he loved teaching he realised his family needed to be somewhere else.
I invited him in but he said they were just passing through. He wished me luck, and thanked me for being a “friend” to his young son. I gave the little kid a hug, and told him to be good. Then they all got in the car and drove off.
That Saturday afternoon, UPS arrived with several boxes of things for me. I signed for them, and carried everything inside. My parents had sent me pots, pans, and dishes. There was also towels, and some of the clothes from my room as well as my CD player, and a small black and white TV. I unloaded everything and hooked up the TV. The only thing left to do was find a job, get a phone, and hopefully a good colour TV. I was beginning to feel settled in.
I wanted to spend Sunday in Louisville, so I called a guy named James, who was from Kenya, and had graduated from OBI the year before. He was also the guy who stole my ex, Amy, from me...After the incident where I chased him in the dorm office, we made our peace and actually become pretty good friends. So, I called him up and asked if I could take him up on his offer to drive me to Louisville. “Ahh, Brotha, it is bad timing.”
“Come on, man...You told me you'd drive this weekend!”
“Yes, but my sister is in town and I'm dealing with that. Maybe next week?”
“I told Tracy I'd be there this weekend. I'm already a day late and I've got an interview for a job next week!”
“Can't do it, Brotha, sorry.”
I hung up the phone. “Shit.” I said to no one, as I wondered if it were feasible to just walk? I went into a store and asked how many miles it was to Louisville, and the store-owner told me that it was about 70 miles or so if I just travelled down the I-64. He clearly thought I would be driving...I went back to my apartment, grabbed my back pack, and threw a change of clothes and some food into it. Then I switched off the lights and headed out. I was going to walk to Louisville! Not the brightest idea in the world, but at that time I just wanted to be with my girlfriend, and besides, maybe it would be interpreted as some huge romantic gesture, like John Cusack holding the boom box outside of a girlfriend's window in “Say Anything.” Another act of impulsiveness, or an act of love? Probably a little of both!
So, I headed down the I-64 and on my journey. After about ten miles in, I began to rethink my decision, but I pressed on. Grand romantic gesture I would say...Grand romantic gesture. After about 20 miles I said, “Screw this!” Stopped, and turned back around. I was hungry, so I reached for a snack from my back pack and realised I had nothing to drink! It was mid-July, and the night was sweltering. As I began to walk the other way I thought, “If you go back, that's another 20 plus miles...40 freakin' miles!! I might as well keep going!” Back the other way I went again...An 18-wheeler passed me by and thinking maybe a truck would give me a lift, I stuck out my thumb. I'd never hitch hiked before, but why not add another bad mistake to my list?
Truck after truck passed me by but not one of them stopped. Getting tired, I stopped and sat down on the side of the road, and after a couple of minutes a police car approached. I assumed it would just drive by as I was doing nothing wrong, but it stopped, and its lights came on. Two officers stepped out and asked me to put my hands where they could see them. I kept them in view...One of them asked what I was doing, and I said, “Heading to Louisville to see my girlfriend.”
“You got some I.D.?” One of them asked, and this time I did have some I.D.! I reached into my pocket and pulled out my wallet...When they saw the Texas I.D. I had to explain that I was living in Lexington, and I gave them my address there. They seemed satisfied with my answers, then one of them asked, “Hitch hiking?”
“Well,” I hesitated, but went with the truth, “Yeah, but not initially, sir. I just got tired of walking.”
“Did you know it was illegal to hitch hike or walk down the side of an interstate?”
“No, sir.” I answered.
“It is. But here's what I'll do to help you out...We're going to let you catch a ride to the city limits of Frankfurt. You jump on one of the farm roads from there and they'll get you into Louisville. But you can't be walking down the interstate.”
“Yes, sir.” I said.
I got into the back of the police car and true to their word they literally drove me to the city limits of Frankfurt, pulled into a gas station, and let me out. “Must be a very special girl, kid.” One of them said as they drove off.
I was thirsty, and the gas station was open, so I went in and asked the clerk if the water was free. He said it was so I filled a cup with ice and water and gulped it down. I asked the guy what farm road would take me into Louisville, and off I went again. At this point I was exhausted and my feet hurt. I'd never been to Frankfurt, the state capital of Kentucky, and so I was completely lost. I was thinking of a safe place to sleep for the night, and passed a school yard. There were several benches and I thought that was as good a place as any, so I laid down. A couple of hours sleep would do me well. I quickly passed out and woke back up to the sound of a garbage truck beeping in the distance. The sun was rising, birds were chirping, and I felt completely refreshed! Off I went again...
I walked down some road at the side of the mountain, with the city and capital building visible in the valley below. I passed a sign for tourists which said that if I stood at this spot as the sun was rising, the golden dome of the capital building would light up and have a very majestic appearance to it...And so, watching as the sun rose, the dome did indeed begin to glow and reflect gold everywhere. It was breathtaking, and I felt very peaceful. I took it as a sign that I was doing the right thing by taking on this particular adventure, and a plan began to develop in my head...I thought that maybe if I told people in town that my friends and I drove out here to watch the sun rise on the dome of the capital building, but as a joke they left me behind, I'd find sympathy and get a lift back to Louisville. Bolstered by my brilliant plan, I began to tell the story of the practical joke...
Most responses were, “Some friends you've got.” Or, “I ain't gonna call nobody a friend who leaves me behind. I'd bust their chops a good 'un.”
I walked through Frankfurt, and on through a small town named Shelbyville. I kept trying my story with no takers for the next 30 miles! It wasn't until, on the very outskirts of Louisville, that I came across a small church. I could hear someone playing the piano and headed inside...It turned out to be a man who appeared to be in his 30s, playing the piano, and he stopped as I entered. “Can I help you, son?” I gave him the story and he said, “Wow! And you just kept walking? That's pretty brave.” I felt bad for lying to this guy, but I felt it was the only way I could get a ride on into Louisville. He asked if I wanted something to drink and grabbed me a Coke out of a small fridge. I thanked him, and added that I played piano as well. “Really? Let me hear what you've got!”
I sat down and played a hymn, and when he asked where I learned to play it, I told him I had been a student at OBI. “Wow! I preached there a couple of times! Tell you what, let me lock the place up and I'll drive you into town.” He grabbed the keys to his van and told me to hop in. We made small talk during the drive, and I asked if he would drop me off along Bardstown Road. When he pulled in, I thanked him, climbed out of the van, and headed to a little Chinese restaurant called “Nan King”. On the side of the building there was a private restroom where I could rinse off, freshen up, and change my clothes. When I was all done I went to the DART bus stop and caught the number 17 to down town, and I was getting excited about seeing my girlfriend...I couldn't wait to see the look on her face!
When I arrived down town, I headed to the PNC bank and the Freschens Yogurt place she worked at. I could see her leaning on the counter looking bored. She looked up as I approached, and shocked, she stepped out from behind the counter and ran up to me to hug me. “I thought James couldn't drive you!?” She shrieked!
“He couldn't, so I walked.
“You what?”
“I walked...70 miles. I'm tired...I have blisters on my feet...I really need to sit down.”
I waited in the back of the frozen yogurt place until her shift was over, and helped her clean the dishes and things that needed washing. Then we left and headed back to Bardstown Road.
That night, I stayed with one of her friends, and spent a couple of days in Louisville. I told her I needed to get back for a job interview, and she offered to pay for the bus ticket back.
When I got back to Lexington, I was walking down New Circle Road and back to my apartment...There was a guy with a boom box blasting out Hootie And The Blow Fish's, “Let Her Cry.” The sky was darkening and I was lost in the music...To this day, whenever I hear that song, my memory takes me back to that exact moment in time.