*NEW* Journals - Randy Halprin

Randy Halprin
"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending" C.S. Lewis
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May 22nd, 2023

What a busy and eventful last few days...It started on Friday afternoon when I talked to an Officer about trying to get moved from the cell I was in for five months. I was tired of being over there and while I had tried to inquire about being moved weeks before it didn't seem to get me anywhere. I had even tried with the field ministers help which has worked before but didn't get me anywhere either. So, when an Officer that has always been helpful within the bounds of policy and rules came by I asked and she was like," Okay, I can talk to the secretary, where do you wanna go?' I replied, "Anywhere but here." Second shift came and no one said anything about me being moved and I chalked it up as another failed attempt. I got settled in for the evening and sometime close to 8pm another officer told me to pack my stuff, I was being moved. You couldn't have made me pack any faster than I did. I was moved to c section and while I can only see the tv when the day room gate is open, which it isn't always... especially on recreation days, I didn't care. I was just grateful to move away from the chaos and noise of the section I lived on, the occasional bickering over the tv and other irritating factors that were stressing me out. Now I can see the sunrise again, and the people over here get along for the most part and it is a hard core movie section, which is cool on the days I can see them. On Saturday

I went outside and played basketball, getting my butt kicked by a guy that was just better and faster than me. I've really got to get my speed and wind up. It gives him an advantage. I used to do a beast of a 20 minute hit work out and I need to get back to doing it. When the pandemic hit, I stopped doing it because we never got out of our cells.

On Sunday the inmate field ministers Troop and Solley came through with some free world ministers and Solley introduced me as being Jewish and well...I was suddenly tag teamed by the ministers and I could tell by the pained expression on Solley's face he didn't intend for that to happen. It was uncomfortable and awkward and gave me flash backs to boarding school being told I should accept Jesus and open my heart or else I was going to hell...but I was polite, respectful and smiled. These things used to make me really angry, but they meant no harm. They were kind...still it was awkward. Solley apologised after and I told him it was all good. It does highlight my point that TDCJ is trying to evangelize because they'd never allow Muslim clergy or a Buddhist monk or other faiths walk around and minister to inmates back here.

Troop said he would try to come on Monday to show a movie,but I had no idea he'd come rolling up on our section with The big TV's at 6:50 in the morning! He also gave me my certificate of completion for my voyager class as well which I was really happy to get. We watched two movies: Focus with Will Smith and Trespass with Nicholas Cage. They have an FM transmitter hooked up to the TVs which we can listen to on our radios or tablets with stereo sound so it really felt like being at the movies. It was sooo cool. They were both decent movies. Nicholas Cage really hammed it up in Trespass, though... it was borderline cheesy. He took it just far enough. haha After that and with the day room gate open our section watched the movies, The Accountant and Red 2...again, not the best of movies but decent. And now I'm finally winding down for the day and preparing my thoughts and prayers for Wednesday...Each week is torturous waiting on the CCA, but it does bring me one week closer. I could really use the prayers for another chance at life. I won't be a disappointment. I won't let it go to waste.

Course Strength Hope and Faith


May 15th, 2023

Monday afternoon and a boring one at that. Well, there was a bit of excitement earlier this morning during showers when a guard and inmate were going at it verbally. It was a bit ridiculous because it all started when the guard was talking to someone else, so the guy's neighbor jumped in the conversation and she said, "Shhh!" and so he said, "you shut up." She was offended and next thing you know they are screaming and cussing each other. It got so crazy that a lieutenant and sergeant had to come down and put out the fire. I just kept thinking “dear God I've got to get moved off of this section.” I feel like the old dude on the block complaining about all of the noise but it gets so crazy on my section at times that I can't even think. On one hand, I can wait it out if I'm still here in July when I join some classes that will take place on B pod this time around. I'm a shoo in for a spot and will be moved to a special section for that. So, do I just wait it out or hope that the CCA rules before then...I don't know. I do my best to just deal with it but it does take a toll mentally. No human can he expected to take noise 24/7 especially for a person that prefers silence and being inside of my own head.

So, I had an interesting conversation with another officer over the weekend when she made a comment to my neighbor about America becoming communist (its not) and her freedoms being taken away. I could've easily dismissed it as another wack job and called her an idiot but I was genuinely intrigued and so I asked why did she feel that way and what "freedoms" has she lost? She couldn't really say other than feeling like she was being "forced" to accept so called gay agendas and things she disagreed with or went against her Christian beliefs and I asked if it wasn't a bit hypocritical to say she is losing her rights but is perfectly okay with marginalising a group of people simply because she doesn't "believe in it". I then gave her an article about what my Judge did to me and said, you want to see real religious discrimination and a violation of constitutional freedoms? My trial judge wanted me to be sentenced to death for just being Jewish. So, I can point to real violations. You aren't forced to accept anything you don't want to. That isn't a loss of your freedom or the signs of communism...but just as you aren't forced to accept anything you don't believe in, you don't have a right to hold others down simply because you don't believe in them. You can still go to church...no one is stopping you. You can still continue to practice your faith. If this democracy is failing it's because some people are doing whatever they can do to hold certain groups of marginalised people down. You know what response I got? I was called a " lefty"! I guess some people just aren't willing to see other perspectives...Can't win them all.

As I write this my section is watching some movie called Rampage. I might catch a little bit of but I'm feeling a bit too tired to stand at the door for three hours I certainly hope they have recreation tomorrow... The lock down is over but there is a staff shortage issue right now as well. It would be nice to get out of the cell.

Courage Strength Hope and Faith


May 7th, 2023

I'm worried about my Taffy as she has COVID....Proof that the virus is still very much out there and people should still be cautious.

We are still on lock down but they've allowed the Field Ministers to show us a movie which was cool. On Friday we watched The Dark Knight, one of the Batman movies which was really good. I had watched it last summer but on the small screen of a tablet. We wanted to watch Avatar 2 but Troop forgot to bring the DVD and I thought seeing Dark Knight would be great on the big screens and the section agreed. On Saturday they turned on our day room tv and I was able to watch Crazy Rich Asians, and it was sooo good! I really enjoyed it. I enjoy a good action movie but I also love dramas, romantic dramas and comedies and that had a bit of both. The cinematography was gorgeous and the all Asian cast brilliant. I told my neighbor that it was good to see movies from other cultures. I highly recommend it.

So, right now I'm livid...I found out I could look up legislative bills on my law library app, called Lexis Nexis. I'd been wanting to read the new Law Of Parties bill making its way through the Texas Legislative session and from what I understand is before the Texas Senate right now, having passed the house...It is an insult and joke. It is such a trash bill that I HOPE NO ONE WILL SUPPORT and I hope DOES NOT PASS...I know some will be offended by what I say but honestly, those whom have worked on reforming LOP law should be offended by such a bill and I will explain why. The bill in its current form does nothing for those on death row other than calling on a special review of LOP cases by the clemency board. They can then recommend to our governor whether we should have a life sentence or our death sentence remains. If you think Greg Abbott is going to grant clemency to any one sentenced to death under the LOP you are a fool. He's in the business of saving people convicted of murdering Black Lives Matter protestors, not saving poor minorities or two guys that escaped from prison. It shouldn't pass and I hope it doesn't because it will make it even harder to get a meaningful bill passed in the next legislation. because the law makers will feel like they've addressed the issue. DO NOT support House Bill 1736!!! And that is my opinion...but coming from someone that was sentenced under the law of parties...I think it is a joke. I'm truly sorry if that offends anyone.

It's now evening and I'm kicked back listening to the prison radio station and winding down for the day. I'm praying for a good week and maybe good news.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


May 2nd, 2023

So, today I had a face to face meeting with Warden Dickerson over the religious discrimination grievance I filed. My issue was that we had access to a Christian app, but we're not allowed access to the podcasts which offers content for a myriad of different faiths.

I was a bit surprised when two Officers came to my door and said that I had to go to the Warden's Office. My first thought was, why does he want to talk to me? I've not done anything wrong! But I went and walked into the office. The warden told the guards to leave and shut the door. First, he was very respectful and he told me that he agreed with my grievance and said if it was up to him we would be allowed the podcasts...but the decision was from higher up and they said we will not receive the podcasts or any other media...However, they are trying to figure out a way through The Tank to broadcast via the tablet content for other faiths through a coordinator named Roxanne Moss.

After that we made small talk and he told me that there would be a faith based program on B pod and I thanked him for allowing The Tank and the opportunity to participate in it. It was a nice conversation, and he even wished me luck with the court. He said his focus is on rehabilitation and not punishment...which you know, I believe but there are others butting heads with him that still carry that 'punish them all' mentality. Its politics, you know? I get it. I respect him all the more for talking to me in person.

We are on week two of the lock down and I would have addressed the meagre meals we've been having but for lunch we had a hot meal and it was loaded down with meat and rice with a brown gravy, peas, white beans and yams. I ate every bit of it because we were famished. I hope this continues and there are no more sack meals...Breakfast today was two pancakes about the size of a jar lid, a smear of peanut butter and ten raisins. I hate complaining about food when so many people truly are starving in the world, but these meals of late had been paltry.

The day has been peaceful and honestly, I'm not upset at all that they've kept the TVs off. It has reduced the noise and while I'm distracted by my own thoughts, at least I don't have to contend with that. I enjoy the movies. I really do. It has been a treat and blessing, but those TVs in the day room do add a certain amount of fuel to the daily noise and chaos.

And that's been the day. I'll be on edge for the CCA rulings tomorrow, but each week is one week closer.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


April 30th, 2023

It's an early Sunday morning and I'm sitting here listening to the Sunday morning political shows, even though I'm kind of jaded by it all. We've been on lock down for a week now and I'm restless. It began last Sunday and we did kind of have a heads up that it was coming. What we didn't expect was for things to be was a throwback to the days in which lock downs felt more like a punishment more than just searching for contraband. We've had two showers in seven days, the sack meals have averaged at about, and I think I'm being generous here, two hundred calories per meal...so a total of 600 calories PER DAY when for the average male that weighs around 165-185 should be eating 1800 calories to keep healthy. I really don't understand how they get away with it.

Now, on the shakedowns they've been moving at a fast clip, and I have to be fair here...we were dreading the worst because they had the professional shake down teams plus a bunch of new recruits and that never goes well. We were hearing complete horror stories from A pod and the other side of the pod of things being taken and excess property being confiscated. I wasn't too worried about that too much because I live modestly. I'm not a pack rat and clutter drives me nuts. I hold things of sentimental value and my electronics, and what I need to live, and that is it. I never worry about what I will lose. What makes me anxious is the total disrespect and disregard for personal property that the pro shakedown teams and jerk officers have. To come into a cell and see your pictures and cards and items strewn across your cell like a category four hurricane has come through is upsetting. So, when I left my cell, I expected that to happen. They began on Thursday but didn't finish and then returned on Friday morning taking us out of our cells and locking us in the shower for over an hour. When it was over I expected to return to my cell in complete disarray, but to my surprise and gratitude all of my stuff was neatly stacked on my bed frame. Nothing was on the floor or thrown all over the place. I am thankful to the officers that searched my cell. I tip my hat off to them. Others weren't so fortunate.

They have turned the phone app off so calls aren't allowed until the lock down is over with and the section TVs are off. They had been turning them on in the evening but that stopped on Friday for some reason. Like I said, this feels like a throw back to the old days.

I cannot believe it's the end of April! I'm entering into May with some anxiety as I am still waiting on the CCA to rule and I'm about to hit that five month mark and what begins the point in which the average amount of time it takes is between 5-7months. I was already a ball of nerves each Wednesday and now it is about to be turned up to 11! There have been some good things happening in the courts and one guy had his death sentence reversed to life almost two weeks ago so that does give me a little hope...I'm posting a new quote on the site and I think it fits perfectly. It is from C.S. Lewis and reads "You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending". That means a lot to me because my path, and if given another chance, is to earn forgiveness through action, to pursue goals and dreams and to live a life of service. I wish I could undo the many bad decisions I've made, but I can't. What I CAN do is shape and change the future and the ending of my story. I'll stumble and I'm not perfect, but I know more than ever who I choose to be. Who I want to be. So, going into a new month those thoughts are at the center of my focus.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


April 19th, 2023

Today is CCA rulings day and while it could still be weeks or months away, each Wednesday I'm pretty anxious. I did a little calculating and research on the average time it takes to release a ruling and it comes to about 5-7 months. My friend, Clinton's was 5 and another guy was 7 months. I'm a little past 4 months now and a few weeks ago my attorneys filed something else so who knows? The wait is crazy, but as long as it leads to me finally off of DR, I'll be okay.  

A guy I know back here went back to Dallas for a hearing on a possible execution date. He has been gone a week now and sent word to me on some information on if anything changed or not. He had his tablet in a day which was good to hear but he had to get some ear buds from someone else as commissary was out of them. He said he is enjoying the movies and music, though. Something we don't get here. At least he has a break from this place! I look forward to those days again...really just to have access to good music again. I depend on the prison radio station but I'd love to have my own music like last year. So much more I want to explore! I've seen so many movies of late that the excitement I had last year isn't as strong... Troop just brought us a movie on the big flat screens. Speaking of,we watched some really good ones of late. The Christmas movie Violent Night was sooo funny and crazy. I also enjoyed this cool vampire movie called Priest. This weekend they are supposed to play the new movie Cocaine Bear. That should be a wild one!  

I'm having to do a lot of my exercising in my cell these days because of a lack of recreation. I usually do push ups, leg exercise like lunges, squats etc. I will do some Pilate's and core and I have a weight bag filled with water bottles for arm exercises. I just mix it up. I generally do 30 minutes of exercises in the morning and then do things through out the day. If you don't eat a bunch of junk and do 30 minutes a day you'll tone up really fast. It is pretty amazing. I tell guys who don't like to exercise that it takes about 30 days to start seeing results. I thought I would be the last person on earth giving exercise advice because I used to hate it and I've always had issues with weight fluctuation,but really, it is crucial in this environment especially for mental health.  

On another note there are sometimes people in this world I live in who are a little 'off'...They are drawn like moths to a flame, and claim they know the individuals or post wild things and we deal with them the best we can. I tell guys it is best to ignore it and move forward because you can't control what a person does or posts. You just have to pray for those people and hope they get the help they need.  

So, to report some decent news from here...a mentally ill guy I've really taking a liking to over the years, Syed, was just granted a hearing from the CCA and another guy had his death sentence commuted to life today. We take little victories however we can get them and the news that the state can murder one less person is always a win in my opinion. Wow...the good news keeps coming. I just saw that the Supreme Court has ruled in Rodney Reed's favor in allowing him to pursue additional DNA testing to clear his name. Even though today wasn't my day I'm glad it was for others.  

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.  


April 16th, 2023

It's a lazy, boring Sunday afternoon with some movie called Aquamarine on. I'm not even watching it but waiting for the next one to come on. Its been a bad movie weekend and honestly, my mind is too distracted to get into anything. I've been thinking about how bad I want to be finished with this place and at least back in Dallas. A friend of mine from back here was able to return this past week for some hearings next week and it just sent me into over drive with wanting to be done with Death Row. I know I go on and on about hoping the courts do the right thing and I do...and I'll face whatever happens after that as it happens, but I'm anxious and restless and this place isn't getting any better. We can't get regular rec. or even showers. Everything is jacked up and never consistent. At least I know things in Dallas don't change no matter what happens short of a pandemic. I'll get a shower every day. I'll get at least three days of rec. Is it paradise? Far from it. But I'll take consistency and being treated more humanely than this hell hole of chaos and uncertainty.  

Anyways, not to sound dour...I got a bit irritated earlier because a new promo was on our tablet telling people who use the tablet that they are now offering modern books and comics on the media app. Something we on death row can't even access. Isn't that crazy? We aren't even allowed to access newer books or a news app because of having a death sentence...Crazy.

On Friday I completed my Voyager Two class after six months of work and lessons. I hope to have my second certificate soon to add to my list of accomplishments since being here. No one can say I wasted time over the past twenty years. And I had nothing to gain other than self improvement. It's hard to say I had some ulterior motive with a death sentence hanging over my head. I take those accomplishments to the great beyond...But seriously, I am happy and proud of myself and I plan on adding to them because I do have a ton of goals if I survive this mess and I'm always looking to learn and grow.  

So, yesterday Troop and a church of volunteers delivered some cookies to us. That was a nice treat and I was thankful for that. There are rumors that we will be on lock down Monday or sometime this week.  

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


April 4th, 2023

It's 1:19pm on a grey and muggy Tuesday afternoon. We were supposed to have recreation today, but it was cancelled due to staff shortages. We are also at two days without showers for the same reasons. Here is how bad it is right now. Field Minister Troop came by to record an intro from me for the up coming Alternative Airwaves show I put together for the Tank on Friday night. I asked him how Field Minister Solley was doing and he said that they had Solley on psychiatric observation, doing a guards job watching over an inmate on 11 building to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. Solley is just an inmate. He may be well versed in the bible, but he isn't trained to deal with inmates having mental breakdowns. Crazy.

Last night I watched a really powerful video from a young woman who forgave her father's killer. I was sobbing like a baby and it really affected me and spoke to the power of forgiveness. Her name is Shelby Houston and the video was called "Forgiving her fathers killer,Shelby's story"  I was floored by it!

So, I mentioned earlier I was doing a show on Friday night with the prison radio station. It is the second time I've been invited to curate a five hour program with music and I recorded a positive message about changing prison and starting with change within ourselves. I'll be up all night Friday night but it is well worth it for sure.

That is pretty much the day today. My section is about to watch Creed and some movie called Hancock. I wouldn't mind seeing that. I might check it out.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith


April 3rd, 2023

It's 8 :19am as I write this. I was up for my work out and a shower but the lights are out and the guard came through and said they were short handed. So, as of now there isn't showers so I will probably have to bird bath. I had hoped today I would have a lot to do..I even skipped the last movie yesterday to get to bed so I wouldn't be dragging my butt today. Oh well...We watched Oblivion, a kids' fantasy called Guardians Of Time, Oblivion and a horror movie called NIX which I recommend. It hit all of the right horror notes. A little weird and confusing at times, but genuinely creepy!

Well, I don't think there will be a show down with the tv today...My neighbor really wants to watch the final of the college basketball tournament today. It's someone else's tv day, though and while I don't know specifically what the guy wants to watch, it won't be movies. It'll be some kind of sport. We shall see. I was telling myself to not get attached to movies all of the time, last night. I enjoy them, but it doesn't do me any good to just want movie movie movie. So I do need to limit myself. That's one reason I forced myself to go to bed or else I would have been up at that door after my normal bed time!

It seems they finally have the phone app sorted, but we are only allowed to call those on our approved visitation list. And sadly, as of now, no over seas calls. I do hope they approve it one day. In Dallas it wasn't an issue and it's possible because it was the same securus network. It is one of those things here that TDCJ stipulates. I mean, if it can be verified and approved what should it matter? We can't just call random numbers anyways because the system requires the person to accept the call in the first place...It's a safe system.

Well, there might not be any tv today or at least right now. The guard said someone stole the batteries out of the remote control. How crazy is that? It had to be another officer who probably hates that death row can watch tv now... I wanted to recommend the legal app, Lexis Nexis, to people who can afford a subscription. It's worth having if you like to look into cases or appeals to get not just facts, but up to the hour legal updates on appeals etc. It is relatively easy to navigate by just putting the person's name into their internal search engine and there you go. I think it's a handy guide in discerning fact from fiction or just to see how sometimes the courts can get it wrong. And they do quite a bit. I use it regularly and have learned a lot about the law in general from its use. I'm glad it's available on the tablet.

I was listening to fox news earlier and on one of the morning shows the panel was going on and on about how Trump is innocent until proven guilty and an indictment isn't a convention and politics has no place in the judicial system. I agree with everything they said, but what made me call BS in their words was they convict people - especially poor minorities - in the court of public opinion all of the time. They do it every week. But if you are Trump it is a witch hunt. How quickly do people forget that Trump called for the EXECUTIONS of five young black teens who were later proven through DNA to be innocent. So, forgive me fox news if I think you are all full of #@#.

It's later now and the tv was never turned on. No showers, no anything. This is one of those days were it should highlight why we not only should have more content on the tablet but it is crucial for good mental health.

That's been it for the day.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith


March 27th, 2023

The last week of the month....March really rocketed by didn't it? I'm doing okay, just getting my morning started. When I returned from the shower and turned on my tablet there was a notice saying death row inmates will have the phone app beginning tomorrow. Our times are from 2pm to 8pm. You don't have to register with Securus...you have to register your phone number with texasprisonphone.com and that should be it. Then, once the number is approved, the inmate will have a notice on their app with your approved number and we'll be able to call you. The thing that sucks is that no overseas calls or services like Skype will be allowed. Even if you are on an inmate's visitation list. Hopefully in the future that will change.

It was a decent weekend. We watched a bunch of movies. Avatar 2 was a bit long and not as good as the first one, but it wasn't bad. There was a really good remake of Fire Starter, but the best movie of the weekend was Papillon about a French man framed for murder and sent to France's worst prison. He escapes several times and is sent to Devils Island and is one of the only inmates to have made it off alive from there. It starred Ramy Malik and Charlie Hunham. There were some other decent movies sprinkled in as well.

I am still feeling restless.I just keep hoping each week is my last week as a death row prisoner. Even if it takes a couple weeks or months to get back to Dallas, at least I can finally be able to breathe and have that title off of my back. I'll face whatever comes after that as it comes.

I was just thinking that if the phone app really does come on tomorrow maybe it will cut down on the recreations they have. It'll be interesting to see what kind of effect it will have on people coming out of their cells. As of now there is very little excitement because everyone is tired of having hopes only to be disappointed again and again. For me the real disappointment is being excluded from the media app for no good reason. I just want some good music. Why not allow us to buy content and give a percentage of it to a victims' fund? It makes no sense to not utilise that kind of revenue that could help a lot of people. It would allow us to give back as well. I just can't wrap my head around it. We can't have entertainment on a tablet but we can watch free tv all day long? Well,not really free...the bill for that comes out of profits for commissary. Still, it is that good ol' backwards Texas logic that still dumbfounds me after all of these years.

Courage. Strength Hope and faith.


March 25th, 2023

I'm starting this early Saturday morning. They are running recreation and it's a little crazy, but hopefully when the movies start things will taper down a little. I don't know for certain we will be doing movies on our section because the guy who has today likes sports and college basketball, but I'm hoping he will want to at least watch Avatar 2 as it's in the line up.

Well, as I wrote that, that question was answered. It's on the movie channel now and the third season of a series called The Chosen, about the life of Jesus. As someone who is Jewish and spent several years in a Baptist boarding school during my teens, I find this to be a really interesting series because it is the exact opposite of what was taught at my school and what a lot of fundamentalists preach about Jesus and the bible. There is no fire and brimstone, no "muscular Christianity" no anti this or anti that message. It gets straight to the heart of what many believe Jesus taught which is compassion and forgiveness for all...that redemption is deserved for all who seek it. A pretty universal message for any faith. It is well produced and the acting is good. It's good television, as the critics would say. What I find most interesting about it all is how so many people in this country would embrace these teachings on the surface and pay it lip service and say that is how we should live, but our society (U.S. Citizens) does the opposite. We don't easily forgive, we are rooted in vengeance, and we don't often give room for a person to be redeemed. Having a death penalty lays truth to that alone. If I say I'm sorry to a person I have hurt and have done my best to show in actions, not in just words, it is rejected and I'm told I'm trying to play the system or looking for an angle. If I say I'm not a danger to anyone, I'm told I'm just waiting for the right opportunity. Nothing I say or do is accepted and yet...most of the U.S. would say they believe in Jesus' teachings. And he taught to forgive! Why, then is it so hard? I'll never be able to wrap my head around it. I don't mean that as a dig towards Christianity....it just makes me wonder why in the U.S. people say they believe one way and act the opposite. That being said, I've met some wonderful Christians that do follow Jesus' actual teachings as portrayed in the chosen series. I think the world would be a better place if it mirrored that particular portrayal.

I say all of this also in light of news that when I spoke to the field minister, Troop, he said that several directors of TDCJ recently admitted in front of inmates and guards that their years working as prison officials have shown them that they've been doing things all wrong when it comes to criminal justice and they now see that there should be a pathway for inmates to be redeemed and earn their way back into society. It took them decades to come to that conclusion. Hopefully as more eyes are open and more people are accepting, many of us can finally atone for the things we've done.

So...it's later now and we watched Avatar 2 ...It was way too long. It wasn't a horrible movie but the plot wasn't tight and had it been an hour shorter it could have probably been a much better movie, but if I blessed to live long enough, I'm with them until the series finishes. I think there are three more movies planned. I'll see what comes on this evening and might watch another couple of movies. Assuming it stays on the channel.

Courage. Strength. Hope And Faith.


March 24th, 2023

It's one of those ho hum days that can't seem to get started. I am still trying to figure out what I'm going to do and I'm starting this after lunch. It is my neighbor's tv day and he has it on some talk show, but I'm not watching it. I don't know if they plan on watching movies today or not because my neighbor isn't a big fan so it does give me time to take care of some things for the weekend in case there are good movies.

We watched all three of the The John Wick movies and they were a lot of fun yesterday but last night's movie, some thing called 'The Visitor' wasn't good at all. I bailed on that about ten minutes in. Someone said commissary is raising the price of coffee to $4.50! That's crazy. A two dollar increase! It better be Starbucks at that price because the stuff they sell to us is generic dollar store junk and I don't see inflation jumping it up that high. It feels like price gouging! I just looked at the commissary list on the tablet and it has gone up! Some guys here can't afford that! I mean, you typically need two bags to get from one store to the next, then guys like to buy a pint of ice cream to treat themselves which is 3.25 and then necessities like hygiene and writing supplies...if your family sends you a little each month, that's wiped out on those items alone. It feels like gouging... On top of that, a lot of the items are made by inmates....clothing, food, hygiene...I mean, 60¢ for a card made out of free labor? The material itself is probably less than 20¢ per card.

We just had fried fish for lunch and as I write this the clean up crew has come through. It feels like a strange day and I am a little bit restless. Well, it's later now and my neighbor pretty much handed his tv day over to me and initially I was going to put it on X men for the guys to watch but it turned out to be King Kong...so, they are watching that until the movie channel comes on. I think we'll get it changed when it's close to six.

Field minister Troop just dropped by and we talked for a bit. He had been sent to another unit for training and he said it was an interesting time. He dropped off a movie list and everyone is excited because Avatar 2 is coming on. And that's the day pretty much...more this weekend!

Courage. Strength Hope and Faith.


March 20th, 2023

It's a lovely spring day this Monday of a new week. I've been spending the day keeping busy until we can hopefully watch the movie Greenland and some Star Wars. It is 62 cell's day with the tv, as our section has a drawing of cells for each day of the week that way it gives everyone a chance to watch what they want to watch. We are the only section that has this kind of system and there were some bumps early on, but a month in and we've worked out the kinks. We have one guy who lives here that just can't get along with anyone and unplugs the tv when he is at rec. but outside of him, things are working.  

Well, my day is Wednesday and at first I was a bit exhausted from watching movies all weekend long. I spent over a total of 24 hours on my feet watching movies we've never seen before. Then I found out Greenland was on today so I'm trying to wheel and deal to exchange my day for movies today. I think the guy will do it. I was thrilled and so happy my good friend Big Foot received a stay last week. That execution would have hit me hard, had it gone through. Any execution sucks, but I have only ever cried over few people and I know I would have been a wreck that day.

So, yeah, I went into the weekend with some high spirits. The weekend movies were really good. We watched parts one, two and three of the Jason Bourne movies, an excellent drama called Blue Bayou which I highly recommend, a Denzel Washington marathon and the sci fi epic Elysium. I also did a movie date with my Taffy and the movie Shazam. All worth the tired body in the end!  

Well, as of now, I've talked the guy into the movie Greenland, but he's not a big fan of Star Wars and isn't feeling a three movie marathon but he hasn't said no. My feelings won't be hurt if he does. It comes on all of the time. I'm good with Greenland. I was just listening to fox news and they are sooo upset that the Manhattan DA might charge Donald Trump...they are such hypocrites because they get all up in arms if the DA doesn't go after someone who steals a candy bar and throw them in jail, but they don't want 'their guy' to be prosecuted when the clown is a career criminal? It is a witch hunt when he has skirted accountability for decades just because he has money? These people are insane.  

The morning started bright and clear but now it's grey...looks like it might rain. That has pretty much been all that is going on around here.  

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


March 14th, 2023

It's the afternoon and my section is watching Detective Pickachu as we wait for Troop to show us the movie Shazam on the big screens. I went to rec first thing in the morning and I am energised and have done some exercises throughout the day. But now I am giving my body a little rest because I've been pushing it really hard with exercises. Even when my ankle was sore, I still did a lot of upper body etc. I even had a weird dream that I fit back into a pair of jeans from my teenage years! Haha. I just would like to be in tip top shape with a return to Dallas.

I have had some really strange dreams since being able to watch movies. Yesterday I had a nice legal visit but I learned I've been defrauded and someone stole from me. Not a good feeling and it made me understand more the hurt I had caused from my own actions in the past. I told my investigator I guess in a way it was Karma and maybe it was deserved.

Over the weekend, the Sunday movie line up wasn't that good, and being so tired throughout the day made standing at the door unbearable but I did watch two good movies one with Peter Dinklage called Rememory. That guy is an amazing actor. I've seen him in smaller roles but in this movie he carried it, and wow! There was a real depth of emotion. Another was a Holocaust movie called The Survivor. He was in Auschwitz concentration camp and forced to box other Jews to the death to entertain Nazis. If he lost, he'd be killed and so he was essentially forced to kill his fellow prisoners. He survives and becomes a boxer in the U.S. and is searching for his long lost love from before the war...and he goes through PTSD and survivors guilt. In the end he finds her as she is dying of cancer and he can finally make peace and let go. I was crying like a baby! It ends on a beach with his American wife and he tells a classic Jewish joke about a mother and her son playing on the beach. A huge wave comes and sweeps her son back into the ocean and she cries out to G-d, Why? Why did you take my only son from me!? Another wave comes crashing in and spits her son back out to her and she hugs him tightly, looks to the heavens and says, “He had a hat!” The joke being that for Jews we are always praying to be saved and when we are, we find a reason to complain about it. In that final scene you realise the survivor has let go of his guilt and is grateful for being alive. It made me think and be grateful for the moments I've had and the chance of a second life should I also survive. Here I am complaining about not having a media app or other things, but I am alive! The most important thing of all! What do I choose to do with that life? Well...I want to be good and to be in service to others. I also hope for forgiveness and to show in actions, not words. I would hope for redemption.

So, I can't believe we're already close to half way through the month. Time is flying by! There's an obvious eagerness and anxiousness as we wait on the ruling, though. But we are so close to being there! Even if it takes another three months. We are almost there and I feel it. I was reading some rulings on nexis lexis and it gave me some comfort that in almost every ruling that the state concedes, the CCA grants the new trial. As well as the cases of proving actual bias, ACTUAL being the key phrase. We shall see what tomorrow brings, but as my investigator told me, he believes we are in a good place and the possibility of a new trial is a very real thing.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


March 11th, 2023

It's Saturday, close to noon, and after a raucous morning of chaos and noise, the place has gone quiet to watch a Clint Eastwood western called A Fist Full Of Dollars. I'm not big on older western movies, but I'm glad that people can enjoy it. I'm grateful for the silence as well!

The death row warden came around today and it was a surprise to see him on a Saturday. He was asked when we would get the phone app and he said it could be a month or longer. He also said that Death Row would only be allowed to call those people on our visitation list. Someone asked if we would get other apps and he said no. Then someone pointed out that it made no sense that we could sit around and watch tv all day long but could not purchase our own content via the media app and he agreed but said the decisions come from higher up. That is really all we learned in terms of what is going on.

As I write this I'm waiting for recreation but as the day carries on I feel less inclined to go. I'm cooking right now and there are some movies I'd like to catch and I have a movie date with my Taffy and don't want to miss that. If I can go next round, I might go, but after? As much as I dislike being trapped in the cell, I'm just not feeling it today.

It's later now...I didn't go to rec. instead opting for the shower. Well, I was stuck in there for an hour because the guards decided to 'take a break' because their feet were tired. The only job on the planet that doesn't fire you for not doing your job... I'm worn out now and after having watched Wonder Woman, a great movie I should add. I'm just waiting for a horror movie and then I'm calling it a night. Tomorrow is my tv day and there is a so so line up of some movies I've seen and haven't seen so it should be a decent day. I have to get up early to make sure the station gets put on and then after that it is cruise control.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


March 10th, 2023

Friday...It's grey and humid today. We're not having recreation even though there are 4 officers working today on the pod. I stayed up last night until 10pm to watch the movie The Happening. It started off strong but fell apart after the second act, got a bit ridiculous, and the movie didn't really get anywhere. The twist was revealed too early in the movie. It would've worked better to have people guessing what was causing humans to kill themselves...the other thing is once the government or people knew it was nature and plants striking back by releasing toxins in the air, why weren't people wearing gas masks or oxygen tanks? Dumb...

We'll see if we do movies tonight or not. I know we will all day Saturday and Sunday. I've got to spend the day busy so I don't fall behind. I have Voyager class at three and I'm sure there will be book work and homework.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith


March 9th, 2023

As I write this it's early Thursday morning and I'm killing time as I'm scheduled for 4th round of recreation outside, and with this crew and the scheduled execution, it is uncertain that I'll make it. I'll just say that I do believe Arthur Brown is innocent, and even one of my attorneys who worked on his appeals believed that and felt horrible he couldn't do more. It is really sad to think about.

I watched two movies Wednesday in the day time but it didn't put me too far behind in anything. We watched Captain Marvel which was better than I expected, as well as Star Wars Rogue One which I had seen last summer in Dallas. After that I finished up for the day and chilled in the evening. The guys around me watched The Masked Singer. I took a glimpse at it and that show is bonkers! People singing with huge costumes! Then, and this had me laughing so hard, they watched Farmer Wants A Wife! All of these pretty city women vying for the affection of a dude in a cowboy hat and boots! Geeze, the stuff on tv these days. I swear, if I had a time machine I'd go back to where it all started and prevent MTV's The Real World from ever happening! Imagine a world where the most superficial shows on earth never existed! There'd be no Kardashian's or Octomom.. Pure world harmony!

Well, I was bumped up and went outside on 2nd round. We played 40 games of basketball and my ankle felt good. I started out a bit slow and careful but as I played had more confidence, and my foot was okay. By the end of the time we tied up 20-20. It was fun.

Spring is definitely here! Today is 85 degrees for a high! That is May like temperatures... I think it is going to be one hot summer here. I hope to be in Dallas by then because they keep the air blasting. It does get hot outside in the gym though. I don't mind that for an hour or two but here the air is always wonky.

It's later now...they killed Arthur. You know, they said in 30 years he showed no remorse, but for those 30 years he really was innocent, and why would he be expected to show remorse for something he didn't do? Personally knowing him for 20 years, I know he felt bad for all involved but he has always said he wasn't there.

I'll finish this tomorrow.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith


March 6th, 2023

I'm writing this in between commercial breaks as my section watches the movie Gemini Man with Will Smith. It's funny because the action packed movies get absolute silence in this place. So, today has been one of those weird days in which it was frustrating and incredibly boring, but also moved by incredibly fast. I intended to get up at 6am and overslept until almost seven, got the day moving with exercises and a bird bath, because I thought they weren't going to do showers, but they did do them and so I went even though I had a bird bath. I then got caught up on writing and next thing I knew most of the day was gone and because I worked hard enough, I was ahead of things and here I am in between watching a movie.

Yesterday was a good movie day, the best movies being a romantic movie called Valentines Day and another crime drama called Dig as well as a historical movie called Harriet which brought me to tears. Tomorrow I'm hoping they have recreation so I can have a good cardio work out and then later that morning I hope to have a visit. Of course, it'll be a sad week with two scheduled executions this week. Texas is in full tilt murdering people. Hey, citizens, don't kill...it's bad and against the bible...if you do, we'll kill you. Hell, we'll kill you even if you didn't kill anyone...Completely rational folks, here...Remember the Alamo! This place is insane. Still have to get through the rest of the week.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


March 5th, 2023

(Dear reader, forgive the scattered brain nature of this. I've been writing it in between movies through out the day!) It is a bright blue and clear Sunday morning. As I write this, we are waiting for the guard to turn on the tv for movies today.

I'm doing okay. I went outside on Thursday and played 35 games of basket ball...recovery time body wise for a 45 year old isn't like it used to be but I can still give these youngsters a run for their money! Even if I twisted my ankle. Nothing serious, just rolled on it when I was pivoting to shoot a basket.

We have seemingly been screwed over again...Now, I preface this by saying it is coming from a dude who went to visit Thursday and their visitor read an FB page and apparently as of now, and the reason they removed the phone app on that same day, is that Death Row was not supposed to receive the phone app. Only Ad Seg. Our plan has yet to be finalised which is ridiculous. To add insult to injury, it is a spit in our face because the majority of men in Ad Seg are there for behaviour or dangerous gang activity and yet they are deemed suitable for phone calls and not death row? You have men with capital life sentences in Ad Seg. It makes no sense! So...for now our phone app is cancelled. They keep us on this yo yo telling us one thing today and another thing the next and it really is messed up. How hard is it to just give us a definitive yes or no and leave it be?

My ankle is still a bit tender but thank goodness it wasn't anything too bad. When I stand on it and move around it loosens up so I am good as our section does movies this weekend. I was okay when I watched the Thriller Thursday night called Becket about this couple that vacations in Greece and get into a car crash. The girlfriend dies and the corrupt Greek police believes Becket had seen something he shouldn't have and the rest of the movie they try to kill him. It was decent. I have been standing like a flamingo to keep the pressure off of my bad ankle. Thank goodness I had the movie list and made copies so everyone knows what is coming on this weekend!

I had a visit on Saturday night and it was picture night so I'm hoping that the picture came out good. I got the thumbs up from the guard that took it so we shall see! It's been forever since I've had a picture, other than a Dallas mug shot and being in court! Haha. Before visit I made it outside by myself yesterday afternoon and it was perfection. It was nice to be alone with my thoughts and enjoy the day. After that I went to the visitation building and it was packed. They raised the prices on the food out there which is ridiculous now and really unfair to lower income families who have to travel and pay gas etc. But the pictures are free now and they send them to an email address the visitor provides. They do everything so strange and complicated these days, though.

It's a new week and hopefully it brings good news! I keep praying and preparing myself for a return to Dallas. We are now at the 90 day mark so anything could happen moving forward. Although I'm prepared for the long haul. I think.

The movies have been decent today. Our section has enjoyed it. Here's looking forward to a good week!

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


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