*NEW* Journals - Randy Halprin

Randy Halprin
"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending" C.S. Lewis
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August 26th, 2023

It's been a humdinger of a few days! My fan died and so I've spent the last few days miserable in the cell. I donated a fan to the indigent program not long ago and of course I didn't expect that the other fan I had would up and quit. So goes life, I suppose...haha.

Today they did make up recreation for last Tuesday. Apparently this new warden told the ranking supervisors and officers that there would be no more sitting around on their butts, and if they had the man power, both first and second shift will be doing recreation. Now, I know this place and everything is cyclical. Guards quit on a regular basis so I don't expect this to last very long, realistically... but it is a nice start for a change. Being trapped in a cell all day sucks.  

So here is the latest Polunsky unit controversy. On Friday and for most of Saturday the movie channel was out. Typically the unit movies begin Thursday night from 6-10pm. Currently they are streaming the series Yellowstone which is excellent. Then it runs movies from Friday evening onto and through the weekend. But this Friday and most of Saturday it was off and no one knew why. When it did come back on Saturday afternoon some of the movie line up had changed slightly and Field Minister Troop said that on Friday the warden shut it off because apparently someone from death row had a person on the outside send an email complaining about the movies that had too much violence or nudity. So, the warden received word from the Director that from now on all movies shown have to be pre-approved by the warden before the weekend. So he went through the weekend line up, reviewed what was being played and they had to re program the channel with a different line up. I was relieved that they allowed The Hateful Eight because I've wanted to see that Tarantino movie for years!!! I still have a few more of his movies to see to be caught up in the 21st century. The Hateful Eight was the last movie of the night. I loved it! Funny, smart, and the dialogue was brilliant. We shall see what comes on today. So far it seems to be holding to the original schedule closing out with the epic Troy this evening. My thing is this: You will never satisfy everyone and if you are offended by a nipple or too much violence no one is forcing you to watch it. Walk away from the door and come back to watch a movie more suitable for your values. Don't try to blow the whole movie program up for everyone just because you aren't happy. I don't like everything that comes on and if it's bad, I go do something else for two hours. It really is that easy.  

Otherwise I've gotten through the weeks and bided my time as positively as possible as I'm STILL waiting on the CCA to rule. It's been nine months and for something that is straightforward and the state feels I deserve a new trial, you would think it wouldn't take so long. I'm just praying that it comes in the next week or few. If I could have a birthday wish it would be for a favorable ruling before the fall. Tomorrow will mark the one year anniversary since my hearings began. Maybe it's a positive sign. My friend, Ivan, was turned down on his appeal and it sucks because I do believe he's innocent. I don't believe everyone who tells me they're innocent, but if you take the time to listen to Ivan's podcast, Cousins By Blood you can't but agree that there's a lot of shenanigans afoot in his case and there's a lot of stuff there that supports his innocence.  

Not much else is going on. I'm waiting for my next class to start on September 13th, my birthday, just so I have something to keep my brain fired up and healthy.  

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.  


August 12th, 2023

I'll keep today's entry short and sweet...I love Taffy and I'm the  luckiest guy in the world to have her encouragement, her love, and belief  in me as a human being. I'd be a fool to take that for granted and my  friends know how much I love her. It's a crying shame that there are  some people  with nothing better to do with their time than to start  drama. I'd say it's comical that they will go to the extent they often  do, but really it's sad and pathetic that in their own misery they will  try to bring people down with them. Well, nice try anyways because  Bambi and Taffy are strong. Really...try being kind.

Courage Strength Hope and Faith.


August 7th, 2023

It's 11:41pm as I write this. I'm usually asleep by now but I can't get to sleep with the walls still hot and so I thought I'd so some writing until I get drowsy. Also, I'm still a bit excited because the idea I proposed to have Sunday movies replayed on another day of the week for the guys on death row, was approved. This should officially end the battles over what will be watched on Sundays during football season because now there should be no problem with any section watching football all day and then later in the week, the rebroadcast of the Sunday movies. I didn't expect to have it approved so quickly, but I had confidence in the idea...My section doesn't yet know of the news so I'll tell them in the morning. Actually, I might wait until I know the exact day of the rebroadcast just so I'm not made out to be an idiot if something suddenly changes.

Over the weekend there had been a talk over what was to happen on Sundays with movies and football, but it was on shaky ground and the bully is still a jerk and he could end up derailing peace efforts, but hopefully my approved proposal fixes the whole issue. The weekend movies were really good. I loved Guardians Of The Galaxy 3...Loved the Martian with Matt Damon, was disappointed by the new Antman movie...it didn't have the humor or heart of the first two. The Breakfast Club still holds up. I do wonder what Gen Z-ers would think of that movie? Fast X was over the top, full of bad acting and cheesy dialogue, but I couldn't help but like it. For years I didn't understand the popularity of those movies...Until I finally saw the first one and honestly, who doesn't have a movie or series that they like that it is sooo bad, but good? I'm a fan now and can't wait until Part 11...After two decades I finally was able to see The Green Mile and it had me in tears...I watched a sci fi thriller called Life that was decent... but by far the best movie of the weekend was a psychological horror movie called SMILE. It still has me unnerved. It didn't play to horror stereo types, there was very little blood or gore. A few quick flashes, but nothing to make a person squeamish. It was anchored in good ol' psychological scares. What made it so original and brilliant is how it used classic jump scare techniques in a creative way that got under your skin. A lot of horror of movies have cues to a scare...sound and the score. They let you know what is coming and is pretty effective. But in SMILE the cues were misleading. An alarm system suddenly goes off and it goes on and on as the lead character looks down a hall...the camera holds on the hallway for what feels like an eternity. You want the scare, but then you think, “turn off the damn alarm!” It goes off and then the ph one rings....It's the alarm company asking if she's okay, what is her code...that tense feeling deflates and then the voice on the other end taunts her...she freaks out, hangs up...then the phone rings again. She ignores it but it goes on and on...should she answer it? These things happen all through out the movie blurring the line between reality and what is in her head as she begins to unravel and descend into madness. I don't know the name of the actress but she was brilliant and acted so well that you really believed the anguish on her face. I want to see the movie again it was that good. It'll stick with me for a while.

Today was uneventful. Well, I'm tired now. Time for bed! Be Kind!

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


August 4th, 2023

It's Friday night, almost 9pm, and we just finished Guardians Of The Galaxy 3 and it is by far the best one in that series. It had it all....humor, action, drama, a great plot, and excellent sound track. It even had me teary eyed at some points. It ended perfectly. Without spoiling I'll just say it was the perfect use of a Florence And The Machine song. I'm skipping the next two movies to jam my favorite music shows on The Tank. Right now they're playing disc three of The Cure's "Join The Dots" collection of B sides. 'This Twilight Garden' is playing...perfection! Brings back so many memories. When the cure released a single there was always a couple of versions or remixes of the single and then one or two B sides and those songs were as good or better than the singles, so I listened to them incessantly. I'll take this over a movie almost any day!

Today has been relatively peaceful compared to yesterday. There's still a bit of tension on the section but at least everyone wasn't at each others' throats. So, since I've lived on this section, when it comes to the television, it will be on movies unless it is something that everyone has seen over and over...which is pretty much what some of the stations do. If someone wants to watch something else all they have to do is announce it to the section and most everyone will say it's cool. On the week nights guys have certain shows they like to catch like Law and Order, Chicago Fire, and for the past month guys have gotten hooked on the reality series, Temptation Island. However, when it comes to Thursday nights on through the weekend it goes on the Tank's own movie channel for the prison. Thursdays are usually three episodes of a series and a movie. The excellent series, Justified, completed a couple of weeks ago and then they started the first season of Fear The Walking Dead, which was to finish tomorrow night and then next week they are going to start Yellowstone which a lot of us are looking forward to. After the three episodes the unit typically plays one movie and then it goes off for the night. Then Friday through Sunday it's nothing but movies all paid for and provided by inmates families or volunteers.

When this section was selected for Kairos, they moved a couple of individuals over here that really threw off the vibe and balance of the section. Three guys have started one fire after another and unless they drop out we are just stuck with them. It all came to a head yesterday when one of them demanded we watch a pre-season football game on Thursday night, then declared that when the season officially started, Sunday would be all day football. Now, we anticipated that there were guys that would want to watch the occasional game, before these guys moved over here. Everyone was cool with a compromise of half a day of football and the other half movies. If you don't want feelings hurt or problems to brew you've got to be mature and fair enough to bend a little. So, those of us into the Walking Dead said, “Look...these are the last three episodes of the season. It'll be off by 8pm...let us finish that, we'll sacrifice the movie and you can watch the game. It's a fair compromise for a game that doesn't even count and will only have 2nd and 3rd string players!” They refused to budge and then the guy in the day room, a real piece of work, has the tv intentionally put on Fox News knowing most of us hate that channel and that it would be stuck on it until the evening shift. All hell broke loose and everyone was at each others' throats... I was angry and down, not so much over missing the Walking Dead, it's trivial, and I try to not get attached to the tv because I have more important things to focus on. But it was the fact that these guys tried – no, not tried, just hogged the day because they knew most of the guys over here don't want conflict and are trying to do the classes available. Nothing yanks my chain more than a bully, but again what do you do? I'm not happy they won the day, but I think in time they'll either get kicked out of the classes or drop out. Field minister, Troop said the program has a way of revealing those that are serious and those that aren't. We shall see.

That afternoon I went to rec. pretty depressed and sick of this place, but I did pick my spirits back up when I figured out what could be a really good solution for the Sunday football vs. movies dilemma, not just for my section but all sections. As I was walking around it occurred to me that general population doesn't have to decide one or the other because they have two TVs in each day room. 12 building, where ad seg. and death row are housed only has one per day room. I know the inmate over the movies for The Tank because he used to work the building as a trustee before joining the chaplaincy. He's been really cool about playing the movie requests we send in and he likes me as a person. Why not ask him if he can get permission to replay the Sunday movies one day during the week? This would open up Sundays for all day foot ball and the movies that play on Sunday for general population can be replayed for those on 12 building during the week. It's a practical win win situation that keeps the peace! I ran it by a few guys around me and they loved the idea.

When I got back to my cell I wrote the letter and it went out this morning so hopefully he can get the idea green lighted. I guess I'll know something sometime next week. There's no more football on this weekend so it'll be non stop movies. I'm looking forward to the new Antman movie, The Fast X movie, The Green Mile, which I've wanted to see for years, the classic La Bamba, The Breakfest Club, and the horror movie Smile.

Surprisingly, we've had a shower everyday this week and two days of recreation which is an improvement on the past couple of months. Tomorrow should be our outside day so we'll see if they have enough staff or not to run rec. I think I'm going to call it a night and get to bed...

Courage Strength Hope and Faith


August 1st, 2023

I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact it's a new month. Only four months left to the year...

So, last week was really awesome. Last year some friends had talked me into joining the faith based program on Death Row. As a person who is Jewish and still has some baggage and trauma from attending a Baptist Boarding School in the sticks of Kentucky, I wasn't too eager, but once I was convinced that all faiths were welcome and the classes offered were more about accountability, forgiveness, self improvement, and life skills...never mind that it was ground breaking for TDCJ and Death Row, I was excited at the prospect of joining because it lined up with my goals of wanting to live a life of service. These classes would be a great opportunity to put action to my words. And to learn. I signed up, was accepted, and then subsequently denied because my co defendant was on A pod and we are not allowed around each other. Never mind that when we both had execution dates, they had no problem keeping us near each other on death watch...I was crushed, but in the crazy perfect way G-d does things, the CCA ordered a new hearing and I returned to Dallas, so I wouldn't have been able to join anyways.  

Some months ago Field Minister Solley asked me if I was still interested and I said yes, but reminded him of the A pod situation and he told me that they were going to do a program on B pod specifically because of my situation and plus it could be an opportunity for others in this pod to join if they'd like. Of course there was always a possibility I would return to Dallas if the CCA rules favorably, but the program for B pod would be in motion and they could use it as a spring board to create a more positive environment on this pod because it can be pretty depressing with the lack of recreation and chaos on this pod. A pod receives a lot of benefits because of their program. Free world visitors, concerts from the outside, sometimes free world food and other benefits. It isn't about pampering inmates... it's about rewarding their hard work, and that's the thing – you are expected to do the work...You can't phone it in. If you don't do your best, or if you create problems, you're out. Or in the words of Winston on John Wick: Your privileges from the continental are revoked.

A month ago they moved those accepted from C section on B pod. It kicked off with Kairos last Wednesday and Thursday. Two 12 Hour Days of listening to speakers, ministers of different denominations and belief systems, workshops, some assignments, and with music breaks and free world food on our breaks. Some of them talked about Jesus and how their faith had helped them through some of the darkest days, but it wasn't preachy or judgemental. In fact, in our introduction they took a microphone to every cell door and allowed us to introduce ourselves and give a bit of personal history. Let me tell you, it's no easy feat being vulnerable in front of 30 plus people on a loud PA system that other sections can hear as well. I talked about how long I've been locked up, being Jewish and how I want to live a life of service...When we did our workshops not one single person tried to preach or convert me. I had fears of being beat up on like in boarding school, but it was all respectful and really loving.  

Over the day, speakers talked about how their actions had lead to bad business choices, drugs, affairs and other mistakes. Some of the men were once multimillionaires that lost everything because of their mistakes. Some were done wrong by business partners. After they talked the speakers would come to our cells and we would discuss things like accountability, our own mistakes, and what we have done to be held accountable. One speaker asked us to create an equation that would best explain our mistakes.  

Because it was such an intensely long day, the inmate field ministers and life coaches would offer coffee, tea, punch and other drinks to fuel us through it all. And holy moly, the meals...On the first day breakfast was breakfast tacos, boiled eggs, some salsa for the tacos and some fresh fruit. Lunch was a real hamburger with all the fixings and a couple of snacks. Field Minister Solley was taking pictures of us all throughout. Dinner was too amazing for words...Fried chicken, gravy, a sweet roll, potato salad and a huge piece of strawberry short cake – completely provided by and paid for by the free world people. NOTE: nobody's tax money went towards any of this for anyone that would be upset that death row inmates would eat so well.

On Thursday things were flipped around... It was a much more emotional and heavy hearted day because once we have accountability for our actions we can begin the process of forgiveness. Neither can be mutually exclusive because to ask for forgiveness, or to offer it, requires accountability. Forgiveness can't be the powerful force it is without an action behind it. It also doesn't mean that you won't still feel pain or regret...The important thing is to no longer allow that anger, pain or regret to have control over you. We were given a super thin piece of paper and asked to write down the names of those we want forgiveness from or those we forgive throughout the day.  

Between speakers we'd have our workshops and talk about forgiveness... I mentioned to one guy about how over the years I've sought forgiveness for so much and how not receiving it tears me up sometimes and I beat myself up over it. He then told me a story about a boy who through his recklessness killed his father's beloved pet. The boy was terrified his father would kill him, but his dad instead forgave him, and said be more careful next time. Then he told him to go bury the pet in his back yard. The boy did as he was told, but the next day after school he went to the back yard, dug the animal back up and brought it back to his father and said how can you forgive me for this? The dad said it was done, he forgave him and told him to go rebury the pet. Again, the boy – unable to forgive himself – dug it back up the next day. Finally the dad pulled him close, looked him in the eyes and said, son... stop digging up the dead pet. Then the teacher looked at me and said I had to stop digging up my own mistakes...learn from it and be accountable, but move forward because just as a person that can't forgive will always be in pain or driven by hate... if we can't forgive ourselves we hold our own growth back and destroy ourselves... Man, I was crying like a baby!  

Well, at the end of the day, they picked up the pieces of paper we wrote on and put them all in a burn bin, set it on fire and said, now move forward...Let our past mistakes go and become better men. At the end of the day we were allowed to give a statement or speech and I talked about the experience and how grateful I was for being part of it. There was more great food and snacks throughout the day and they took a lot of pictures. I don't know how many we will be allowed to keep when they are printed, but hopefully I can post one on the site to share soon.  

I forgot something funny that happened on Wednesday when the musicians were setting up...A guy said, "Randy can sing! Do a song with him!" So, Solley grabbed a wireless mic and ran upstairs to my cell! I was saying, "No no no no!" Because I'm naturally shy and was put on the spot...now some guys are constantly teasing me for choking under pressure....ha ha.

Initially we were told there would be no assignments until the 9th, when they would do a class for us and then treat the ENTIRE pod to a large pizza donated by a ministry. This has been in the works for some time and some guys on this pod still don't think it's true, but the field ministers assured me it's really happening! I told a guy on another section that IF the CCA ruled in my favor by the 9th I'd give him MY pizza. Why not? It would be much more deserved for him than me.

The weekend passed with no rec or showers, but I watched some good movies on the unit movie channel. If you haven't seen the movie Hell Or High Water, I highly suggest it. It's a true Texas movie through and through and Jeff Bridges as a Texas Ranger should have earned him an Oscar nomination at the very least.  

On Saturday afternoon I listened to the classic music show on the prison radio station and one of the DJs in that show and the alternative rock show was one of the musicians during Kairos and we got to meet and chat. Well, on the radio show he told Megamind he finally got to meet me and what an honor it was... I was touched. Troop, Solley and Megamind are always telling people about me and saying really kind things, so throughout those two Kairos days I'd meet a speaker or different field ministers and life coaches and many would say, "I finally get to meet you! We've heard so much about you!” And I'd reply "I hope good things!" ha ha.

Yesterday, a Monday, we finally had a shower after SEVEN DAYS without...how crazy is that? Troop surprised the pod with a movie on the big screens. We watched a Norwegian thriller called The Snowman...The first act of the movie was a bit too slow, but the movie picked up in the second act, and while it was an excellent movie, it was really unsettling and doesn't just get under your skin, it stays there. I've been disturbed by it all day...I think it was because the cinematography and plot is literally buried in tones of grey, white and snow. The snow itself becoming a suffocating psychological blanket of fear...The movie did have some graphic scenes so it isn't for those with a weak stomach or nervous disposition. But if you enjoy psychological thrillers I'd put it up there with Silence Of The Lambs.

Later, Troop had an assignment for us and asked if we would write encouraging letters to kids at a camp for troubled youths called Boys Village. Some guys complained but Troop reminded us that if we were going to do the program it was expected of us and we could be given an assignment at any time – even weekends. If we didn't want to do it, we could drop out at any time.

I was excited by the task. It's in my wheel house and part of my overall goal to reach out to troubled youths so I wrote a two page front and back letter giving a little of my life story and how one poor decision or mistake can put in motion a chain of events that lands a young person in prison for life or on death row. Well, today one of the volunteers I met last week came to my cell which a surprise. He said he was personally invested in our success and growth which was touching. He prayed for a positive ruling for me, and said he'd be around more and he is here to be a mentor. To have people that were just strangers last week invest personal time in us, guys on death row, is beyond moving to me.  

We had rec. and showers today as well so it was nice to finally get out of the cell for a good jog and some exercises and a shower after. It is now 10:00pm and I'm going to wind down, focus on positive thoughts for tomorrow and who knows, it could be a great day with answered prayers. Be kind...Be kind to others and to yourself.  

Courage Strength Hope and Faith!  


July 22nd, 2023

It's Saturday evening as I write this and I'm under the fan....There's been a bunch of movies that I've not seen on, but I've only watched one of them, but once the sun goes down and the cell cools down I'll probably give the last two a try.

I've been really distracted of late with all of the chaos of this place so when I feel like writing I jump on it and get as much out of my head as possible. Its been a week of no recreation for us. They did rec. on Tuesday but the guards working were so clueless and in over their head. They throw these new recruits onto a pod without any proper training or having learned how to manage the twelve hour shift and it's the inmates that don't get showers or rec. because of this and lack of any leadership from ranking officers. I do feel sorry for the guards that just don't know what to do, but it is frustrating because recreation is one of the biggest tools in staving off mental and physical health decline and more and more guys are starting to slip. Even I get bouts of anxiety when the day goes chaotic. Each morning I wonder, am I going to get to get out of the cell and a shower or is it another day that I have to bathe out of the sink and figure out what to do for the next 16 hours of the day...? I do my best, though. I gripe every now and then, but I refuse to let it beat me down or keep me from being the best version of myself regardless of the situation.

I've been in my current cell for almost a month so I'm sure they'll end up shuffling me around in the next week or so. I can say this though, July has flown by so fast. Heck, the past year has rocketed by. This next Friday will be one year to the day that I returned to Dallas last summer for hearings. A year! Its been one wild year so maybe that's why it's moved so fast. This coming up Wednesday will be 7 1/2 months that I've been waiting on the CCA to make a ruling, long time friends here have received execution dates, some received stays and now one of my closest friends, Big Will has an execution date. Since last summer it has been an endless roller coaster of ups and downs. I know that should I be granted a new trial there is much more of that in store. As much as I want to leave death row, I'm mindful that if it happens I'm in store for a lot of challenges. By no means would I treat a trip back to Dallas as a vacation or cause for celebration. I have to prepare myself spiritually and mentally for whatever happens next. Its scary for certain. No sense in pretending it isn't. I can only hope in it all there is some forgiveness, mercy and grace. That being said, any time away from here would do my spirit some good. I just would hate to leave these guys behind. Still not sure how I'm going to face that one should a new trial happen.

So, guess who came to Polunsky Unit last week? Rudy!!! The very same guy the football movie is based on. He was interviewed by the prison radio DJ, "Megamind" and it was really interesting and enlightening. He talked about how the goals in our life require hard work and dedication and a willingness to travel the hard path, not an easy one. I just can't believe he came here of all places. They've been getting bigger and bigger people to stop by the radio station which is really amazing considering all of it started only three years ago because of one inmate's dream and persistence. It just goes to prove that we are capable of redemption and are of value if we chose it and that even behind bars people can achieve great things. I'm in a cell all day but I'm always humbled when Megamind calls me his co-producer at the station because of my own contributions of ideas and other things. It gives me a sense of self worth and value.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith


July 8th, 2023

Since the last day of June it's been one thing after the other and sooo strange. On the 30th I was moved from a cell with no view of the tv to a cell with a view, bumping the guy in the good cell to the bad cell. I tried to explain to him it was beyond my control, he got angry, cussed me and deliberately left the cell filthy so I had to clean it up.

The next morning he found out from the field minister that a bunch of people were shuffled around and to the guy's credit, he did apologize. Still, as I write this, he is trying to have his attorney's call the warden to get the cell back and have me moved again. I'm thinking, okay...so, you were mad because you thought I had you moved but now you are actively working to have me moved again? If you do it, it's okay? Huh?

On the 4th they treated the day as any other day with a chaotic recreation day. I watched a couple of movies but other than that, it was so routine that I forgot to look outside my window and watch the fireworks. It was the first time in 21 years I'd actually forgotten to look out the window if the weather was good to try to see even a glimpse of a burst of color in the distance. It was a shock when I realised it the next day. I really try to not become jaded over holidays and celebrations because it's always allowed me to have a sense of being connected to the world and normal.

Thursday we didn't have rec. or showers. Nothing new there. Yesterday we learned the news, that TDCJ is going completely digital with our mail. This just added to the weird energy of the week. It actually happened late yesterday afternoon...A notice popped up on the tablet with the new rules and address that all snail mail has to be sent to. Snail mail will no longer be allowed after July 17th and there is no grace period for mail post marked before the 17th. Books and magazines may still be ordered or sent as of now, but I can see them eventually doing what Dallas County Jail does by putting an end to all mail and essentially going 100% digital. They are saying there are no limits on pictures, pages or even cards as of now, but it will be scanned at a remote site and forwarded to the Polunsky mail room to then send it to our tablet. They did say that only written mail can be scanned so we're wondering if that includes print outs from the computer or copies of legal work, articles etc. There are always vague policies that are left up to interpretation by the unit mail room. So, we really don't know anything other than that July 17th is the launch date. If you write anyone on the Polunsky Unit you will need to first put their full name and TDCJ number followed by this address:

Polunsky Unit
P.O.Box 660400 Dallas
TX 75266-0400

If a person is ordering books or magazines they may use the original Polunsky Unit Livingston address. This may have been easier to digest if they would have given us a grace period or time to notify loved ones and friends, but they have given us about ten days to notify people and with as slow as the postal service is and the delays in the mail room...no doubt many inmates' people are going to have mail returned to them. Not everyone uses the emessaging system so it is just one more complication that technology brings.

This morning I went outside which was nice. I wanted to watch some movies today but it has been so loud I've not even bothered. I might try this evening and tomorrow. There are a couple I'd like to see. I'm hoping next week brings about less chaos and good things. Maybe even good news. We shall see!

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


June 27th, 2023

Today was one of those wild and chaotic days I can't seem to ever get used to. I went to rec. early in the morning for about ten minutes, then we were told rec. was cancelled and so I went back to my cell, then about 45 minutes later rec. was back on but we were told we would only get an hour. I went back to rec, got a work out in, went back to my cell very hot and suddenly drained..I waited on a shower, had that in the afternoon and had no desire to do anything else.

Death Row has air conditioning, but the building walls cook like an oven and it pulses. My bed and desk are near the wall so the air helps little when it is over 100 degrees outside. I do my best to manage. I'm just trying to keep my spirits hopeful going into another Wednesday waiting on the CCA. On another note, I've been thinking a lot about what is called The Anti Terrorist Effective Death Penalty Act or more commonly referred to as the AEDPA. Federal legislation that was passed in response to the Oklahoma City Bombings. Politicians that had long wanted to speed up death penalty appeals took advantage of the rage and emotional response to that horrible day. It had been very effective in Texas between the late 90's and into the first two decades of this century ensuring hundreds of executions. There were signs that it's effectiveness had been waning, though. Young and smart capital defence attorneys, and the creation of the federal Capital Habeas Units, were finding creative ways to challenge it. It slowed the appeals process down a bit or bought clients a little more time. Then, Justice Scalia passed and Trump happened and he was able to fill open seats on the federal courts with uber conservatives and turned the Supreme Court into a conservative super majority. Republican states, especially those in the 5th circuit (many southern states ) pounced and began to appeal to federal courts on issues dealing with the AEDPA. The Supreme Court as it is has made recent rulings interpreting it in the strictest way possible. This is killing a death row inmate's chance of any success at the federal level, by limiting what issues can be appealed .

The Supreme Court often mentions 'the intent of congress' in its opinions. I think it's time to start demanding politicians change the AEDPA. It's bad, outdated legislation that was born out of revenge. It will almost certainly ensure that defendants with bad attorneys won't have a chance and increases the chances of an innocent person being executed.

It won't be long before Texas has its machinery of death back to firing on all cylinders. There are so many men here with exhausted appeals and on borrowed time. The slowing down of executions and the pandemic lulled people against the death penalty into a sort of complacency and it's time to wake back up.

As I type this it's getting close to my bed time. I'm laying here under the fan, listening to The Cure's Staring At The Beach singles collection on The Tank. The song 'The Walk ' is on. I'd boogie, but it's too dang hot. Here's to hoping for good news soon!

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


June 25th, 2023

I'm a bit stressed as I write this because the Securus messaging system is giving me a headache. It's Sunday and I'm doing my best to get through the day. I had a late night as I stayed up last night listening to the movie Titanic. I wish could have seen it but right now I'm stuck with just listening to movies because the gate to the day room has to be closed now. I was able to see the TV when it was open. I did ask the administration if it would be okay to remount the TVs in a place that the entire section could see it and they've been receptive to the idea, but it takes time to get a work order signed off on and executed.

I cannot believe that we are entering into the last week of the month. Time is moving by much too fast...It's about to be July! Great things have happened in July for the past two summers, so G-d willing I will have my favorable ruling and be back in Dallas either by the end of July or early August. I think some of my friends back here are just as eager and impatient as I am. I keep getting asked, "When are you leaving, Randy?" or, "I thought the courts ruled for you already!" It's nice to have the confidence of guys as well and it does boost my spirits up some.

I've been trying to see what G-d wants of me while I'm here. I think there is a purpose for everything and right now I'm wondering if it is to help with this fan drive I started on Friday when one of the life coaches told me there is an indigent fan shortage. I've got seven commitments, including myself, to donate fans when we go to store.

Today I typed up a bulletin for the DJ of the prison radio station to announce on the radio to get others to donate. We only needed seven fans, but I'm thinking it would be a good idea to stock some up for the indigent program in case others need them. With the captain on board and giving the green light for us to do this I think I can raise a bunch of fans. They only cost twenty bucks, so it isn't a huge dent in someone's commissary budget, you know? It feels good to be able to help those in need. I can remember a time when I had no fan and had to hustle to trade things for a fan in the extreme heat of South Texas. This was before an indigent fan program even existed. You either hustled or you could die of a heat stroke. I've seen men fall out dozens of times when I was in general population. It's a deadly heat.

It doesn't look like we are getting showers today. It seems that for the past couple of months, on average, we have a shower once every two to three days, and one day of recreation per week. There is no solution in sight. Apparently a bunch of guards are quitting because in general population there are is no air conditioning on the buildings. So, when it's 100 plus degrees outside, the buildings are even hotter and the Texas legislation doesn't want to pass a bill that pays for the millions it would cost to install air units...so, for politicians that talk a good game about keeping Texans safe, they don't seem to mind that their prisons are dangerously understaffed.

I'm hoping field minister Troop comes by because I have some things I need to run by him on ideas and some issues to raise to the administration. Everyone teases me about all of the ideas I have and it's only because I'm trying to make the place better for everyone, including the Officers. Some of my best ideas come from thinking of others.

There is a rumor that in the next fiscal year the food in TDCJ is supposed to improve and be a bit healthier. I hope so because the meals have taken a dive of late, but I get it, the kitchens must be infernos with the heat outside so the inmates must be trying to get out of there as soon as possible. Well, I'm going to kick back and listen to some movies as I pray and meditate on what I hope is a positive week.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


June 13th, 2023

As I begin this I'm waiting to see if there will be recreation and showers. The lights are still out so who knows...I'm really irritated that this emessaging doesn't work as advertised. Taffy hasn't heard from me since Friday and she is worried which has me upset...not even the short messages, and I don't know why everything has suddenly slowed up. The system started acting funky on Friday and it hasn't been the same. Securus is such a crappy business, but they have a monopoly on prisons so why spend money to provide a reliable service? Our hands are tied. It is tempting to sometimes turn this tablet in and go back to just snail mail.

We are about to be in the midst of record breaking temperatures here as well and over 100 degrees by Friday. Thank goodness our air is working on this building. Guys in general population don't have air conditioning.

Well, yesterday was crazy and we didn't get showers. If it doesn't happen today it will be day four and it is a ghost town right now so it has me wondering if this will be another day without. Yeah, I can take a bath in my sink and get clean, but nothing beats a proper shower and there are guys who probably won't bathe in their sink and I'm sure they stink really bad right now. I always think about the mentally I'll guys in this situation.

Last weekend we watched some interesting movies. The one that has me thinking the most was a really deep indie horror movie called "Cold Skin" about this British weather watcher in the early 1900s. When he lands on this island to take care of a lighthouse there is a strange man there... he refuses to leave and so the guy begins to care for the island with him when he discovers he's holding captive this blue female creature. Every night the light house is attacked by other creatures...the new guy starts realising it is because they are the outsiders and have held captive what is something akin to their princess...It was a weird but gorgeous film and I think an allegory on early British colonialism because the one keeper believes they are superior to these creatures and they must be exterminated. It wasn't so much scary as unsettling. I highly recommend it.

Yesterday some guys wanted to watch the basketball championships so it was put on there. I listened to my music show on the tank until ten and was out like a light. My neighbor on my right came back from his hearings yesterday and so he was typing on his type writer and I had to adjust to the clickety clacking of his type writer but managed to sleep well, waking up for breakfast at three and then falling back to sleep. I think they might actually be setting up rec. but I don't know if it is upstairs or downstairs. If it is upstairs I won't make it until late in the afternoon. If it is down I'll be first or second round so we will have to see.

I know I'm kind of rambling about... They are scheduling rec upstairs so I might as well settle in for a long day. Everyone is going to rec. upstairs so I might not even make it. Ugh. I really hope tomorrow is my day. I'm so sick of this place. It will be a little over six months give or take a few days. I talked to a guy back here and he thinks the CCA goes on their summer break in mid July for a couple of weeks and then comes back. The Supreme court begins either next week or the last week of June and they don't come back until October. But even if it isn't tomorrow, G-d please let this be the last month I have to wait.

I'm really proud of my friend Big Will back here. He became what is sort of the first life coach/ faith program coordinator on death row. He lives on A pod and will stay there, but for a death row inmate it is still a big responsibility. He really has come a long way and changed so much. Well, we'll see if I get to recreation today. More tomorrow! Please pray for me!

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


June 5th, 2023

I started my day today at 6 am. I worked out and as it seemed they weren't doing showers, I bird bathed and shaved and cleaned my cell. I feel bright and hopeful in this new week and month but I'm also fighting off some slight negativity and irritation from some thing that happened yesterday afternoon...There was a little dust up on my section and the energy today is still a bit off...

So, since being over here there has never been a fight over what people want to watch. The majority of the section enjoys movies and that is pretty much where it stays. Now let me preface this next part by saying our tv doesn't stay really loud. Sometimes B section turns theirs up waaaay too loud, but we've found that at a setting of 27 the volume is where those that can't listen on their radios can hear it okay standing at their door. It is a perfect setting for this environment. But we started noticing that two guys in particular have been whispering to the officers to turn the volume down. When it isn't necessary. I'm a new guy over here on this section so I wasn't saying anything about it, but another other guy finally blew up over it when the officer showed up out of nowhere to turn the tv down. The majority told the officer to leave it at 27. So, one of the cry babies started screaming "turn it down!" The other guys said no...back and forth and so the guard just left. It all blew up! Guys were screaming and threatening each other. Still, I stayed out of it. Well...this other guy who has some weird superiority complex and thinks he's better than everyone else says, " I can't ask the officer to turn it down? I'm not allowed to ask that? Randy? I can't ask that?" I was calm at that point and said, " Look, I don't care where the volume is at. I can listen on my radio. BUT others can't-" and this guy just starts talking over me and ranting and raving calling us all dumbasses and idiots, trying to be a bully and I said " Will you just shut up? Stop whining like a baby. This is prison. Put your big boy pants on and deal with it. It isn't that loud. I'll tell you this right now....One person- two people- aren't going to run this tv. Just shut up and deal with it. Start thinking about others and not yourself. You call everyone idiots? Let me tell you something, dude...You are not better than me or anyone else on this section. So shut up and deal with it." I was a little harsher than that, but bullies push my button and have since I was a dorky kid in elementary school. As nice as I want to be and I am, sometimes you have to speak up.  

After that things calmed down a bit but there is still some tension in the air this morning. Sometimes I wish they would have never put these TVs up in the first place. Another reason to allow us the media app on the tablet. It would mitigate fights and headaches. Saturday night on The Tank they played The Cure's 40th anniversary which was awesome, but Sunday I was able to FINALLY see one of my most favorite movies of all time!!! Pulp Fiction!!! It was amazing after so many years to catch it! Outside of the fighting on my section, in the afternoon we watched the original Point Break, which still holds up, The Enforcer and Pulp Fiction. After that I went to bed.  

Today I did try to talk to the guy who was being a bully but he can't be reasoned with and just wanted to keep insulting me and the section. I had to do a Texas "Bless your heart" and walk away from the door. Most guys back here don't act like him and will try to work out differences and communicate. But there are always exceptions. Just as it is everywhere in life, I suppose. I'm gonna keep the positivity flowing and try to focus on new beginnings in my life.  

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


May 31st, 2023

It's the last day of the month and I am winding down for the day. It's been particularly crazy the past few days and memorial day weekend is always hard on me. If you've read my memoir Falling Down, you'll understand. I do a lot of reflecting on that holiday and the Christmas holiday. I get a bit down and lethargic.  

Anyways, I didn't have time to get a work out in as the guards popped right up for a shower and so I did exercises throughout the day to help with the anxiety as I checked the news and the lexis nexis app.  

This place is insane!!! I'll give an example of the problems and poor management back here. Yesterday was chaos. I made it to rec. some time before 2pm. Well, the guy in 17 cell was supposed to go to another section on fourth round. They forgot, skipped him and put someone else in his place. When the guards came back through we both talked to them and I said, "look...take me back to my cell as soon as my time is up so this guy has his rec. time after me." They said that would be fine and I told the guy to not worry, I'll make sure they get me back to my cell. Well,the time came and I told them to put me up...I told the guy waiting to get ready, I left and I went to the shower... They never got the guy!!! He was screwed out of recreation and I felt so bad for him because he wanted to watch the next movie coming on, something called Divergent and he would have been able to had they came back and pulled him out. He has poor eye sight so he can't see the tv properly from his cell and that just made me feel worse. Well, dinner comes and the two sergeants, The 'supervisors' and ones that are supposed to manage and lead come down to help the other guards and they are mad that they have to help and this guy down the run asks, "Isn't it your job to lead and help when needed? Isn't that what a leader does?" Do you know what the sergeant says? "I put in my work for four years as an officer. I don't have to work anymore...I should be on my butt in the office." Huh??? That is why this place is a mess! Very frustrating to have to be subjected to.  

We are a bit worried because now the rumors are that Polunsky is about to get a complete new administration... We are supposed to have all new Wardens and Majors. Warden Dickerson has made Regional Director which is awesome because that is a HUGE position and he sets policy. He could really help death row conditions if he chooses. It also protects the hard work and programs he established here from being meddled with should we get a bad warden. But we are just hoping that nothing dramatically changes for the worst on a unit or death row level by a jerk major or warden. Time will tell, I suppose.  

So as I wrote earlier,I've been checking the news all day in hopes for a ruling today and it didn't come. Obviously, the wait is torture, but I do feel it is coming soon. I just need to be patient. When I get anxious or worried I start researching different rulings and it helps. I've learned a lot and I'm seeing patterns with how the Judges rule. There is one Judge that dissents on everything and he'd have an innocent person either executed or remain in prison for life on his strict interpretation of rules. I've also seen that over 90% of the time the CCA will uphold the trial courts findings especially if the state concedes or admits error. Well, I'm just hoping for the best...  

Over the weekend we watched a bunch of good movies...Baby Driver was the best of them. I got to see Taken for the first time as well. It is a bit old but new for me! haha. I'm hoping better movies play this weekend. Maybe we will get some new ones. Otherwise I'm just taking it day by day.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith


May 22nd, 2023

What a busy and eventful last few days...It started on Friday afternoon when I talked to an Officer about trying to get moved from the cell I was in for five months. I was tired of being over there and while I had tried to inquire about being moved weeks before it didn't seem to get me anywhere. I had even tried with the field ministers help which has worked before but didn't get me anywhere either. So, when an Officer that has always been helpful within the bounds of policy and rules came by I asked and she was like," Okay, I can talk to the secretary, where do you wanna go?' I replied, "Anywhere but here." Second shift came and no one said anything about me being moved and I chalked it up as another failed attempt. I got settled in for the evening and sometime close to 8pm another officer told me to pack my stuff, I was being moved. You couldn't have made me pack any faster than I did. I was moved to c section and while I can only see the tv when the day room gate is open, which it isn't always... especially on recreation days, I didn't care. I was just grateful to move away from the chaos and noise of the section I lived on, the occasional bickering over the tv and other irritating factors that were stressing me out. Now I can see the sunrise again, and the people over here get along for the most part and it is a hard core movie section, which is cool on the days I can see them. On Saturday

I went outside and played basketball, getting my butt kicked by a guy that was just better and faster than me. I've really got to get my speed and wind up. It gives him an advantage. I used to do a beast of a 20 minute hit work out and I need to get back to doing it. When the pandemic hit, I stopped doing it because we never got out of our cells.

On Sunday the inmate field ministers Troop and Solley came through with some free world ministers and Solley introduced me as being Jewish and well...I was suddenly tag teamed by the ministers and I could tell by the pained expression on Solley's face he didn't intend for that to happen. It was uncomfortable and awkward and gave me flash backs to boarding school being told I should accept Jesus and open my heart or else I was going to hell...but I was polite, respectful and smiled. These things used to make me really angry, but they meant no harm. They were kind...still it was awkward. Solley apologised after and I told him it was all good. It does highlight my point that TDCJ is trying to evangelize because they'd never allow Muslim clergy or a Buddhist monk or other faiths walk around and minister to inmates back here.

Troop said he would try to come on Monday to show a movie,but I had no idea he'd come rolling up on our section with The big TV's at 6:50 in the morning! He also gave me my certificate of completion for my voyager class as well which I was really happy to get. We watched two movies: Focus with Will Smith and Trespass with Nicholas Cage. They have an FM transmitter hooked up to the TVs which we can listen to on our radios or tablets with stereo sound so it really felt like being at the movies. It was sooo cool. They were both decent movies. Nicholas Cage really hammed it up in Trespass, though... it was borderline cheesy. He took it just far enough. haha After that and with the day room gate open our section watched the movies, The Accountant and Red 2...again, not the best of movies but decent. And now I'm finally winding down for the day and preparing my thoughts and prayers for Wednesday...Each week is torturous waiting on the CCA, but it does bring me one week closer. I could really use the prayers for another chance at life. I won't be a disappointment. I won't let it go to waste.

Course Strength Hope and Faith


May 15th, 2023

Monday afternoon and a boring one at that. Well, there was a bit of excitement earlier this morning during showers when a guard and inmate were going at it verbally. It was a bit ridiculous because it all started when the guard was talking to someone else, so the guy's neighbor jumped in the conversation and she said, "Shhh!" and so he said, "you shut up." She was offended and next thing you know they are screaming and cussing each other. It got so crazy that a lieutenant and sergeant had to come down and put out the fire. I just kept thinking “dear God I've got to get moved off of this section.” I feel like the old dude on the block complaining about all of the noise but it gets so crazy on my section at times that I can't even think. On one hand, I can wait it out if I'm still here in July when I join some classes that will take place on B pod this time around. I'm a shoo in for a spot and will be moved to a special section for that. So, do I just wait it out or hope that the CCA rules before then...I don't know. I do my best to just deal with it but it does take a toll mentally. No human can he expected to take noise 24/7 especially for a person that prefers silence and being inside of my own head.

So, I had an interesting conversation with another officer over the weekend when she made a comment to my neighbor about America becoming communist (its not) and her freedoms being taken away. I could've easily dismissed it as another wack job and called her an idiot but I was genuinely intrigued and so I asked why did she feel that way and what "freedoms" has she lost? She couldn't really say other than feeling like she was being "forced" to accept so called gay agendas and things she disagreed with or went against her Christian beliefs and I asked if it wasn't a bit hypocritical to say she is losing her rights but is perfectly okay with marginalising a group of people simply because she doesn't "believe in it". I then gave her an article about what my Judge did to me and said, you want to see real religious discrimination and a violation of constitutional freedoms? My trial judge wanted me to be sentenced to death for just being Jewish. So, I can point to real violations. You aren't forced to accept anything you don't want to. That isn't a loss of your freedom or the signs of communism...but just as you aren't forced to accept anything you don't believe in, you don't have a right to hold others down simply because you don't believe in them. You can still go to church...no one is stopping you. You can still continue to practice your faith. If this democracy is failing it's because some people are doing whatever they can do to hold certain groups of marginalised people down. You know what response I got? I was called a " lefty"! I guess some people just aren't willing to see other perspectives...Can't win them all.

As I write this my section is watching some movie called Rampage. I might catch a little bit of but I'm feeling a bit too tired to stand at the door for three hours I certainly hope they have recreation tomorrow... The lock down is over but there is a staff shortage issue right now as well. It would be nice to get out of the cell.

Courage Strength Hope and Faith


May 7th, 2023

I'm worried about my Taffy as she has COVID....Proof that the virus is still very much out there and people should still be cautious.

We are still on lock down but they've allowed the Field Ministers to show us a movie which was cool. On Friday we watched The Dark Knight, one of the Batman movies which was really good. I had watched it last summer but on the small screen of a tablet. We wanted to watch Avatar 2 but Troop forgot to bring the DVD and I thought seeing Dark Knight would be great on the big screens and the section agreed. On Saturday they turned on our day room tv and I was able to watch Crazy Rich Asians, and it was sooo good! I really enjoyed it. I enjoy a good action movie but I also love dramas, romantic dramas and comedies and that had a bit of both. The cinematography was gorgeous and the all Asian cast brilliant. I told my neighbor that it was good to see movies from other cultures. I highly recommend it.

So, right now I'm livid...I found out I could look up legislative bills on my law library app, called Lexis Nexis. I'd been wanting to read the new Law Of Parties bill making its way through the Texas Legislative session and from what I understand is before the Texas Senate right now, having passed the house...It is an insult and joke. It is such a trash bill that I HOPE NO ONE WILL SUPPORT and I hope DOES NOT PASS...I know some will be offended by what I say but honestly, those whom have worked on reforming LOP law should be offended by such a bill and I will explain why. The bill in its current form does nothing for those on death row other than calling on a special review of LOP cases by the clemency board. They can then recommend to our governor whether we should have a life sentence or our death sentence remains. If you think Greg Abbott is going to grant clemency to any one sentenced to death under the LOP you are a fool. He's in the business of saving people convicted of murdering Black Lives Matter protestors, not saving poor minorities or two guys that escaped from prison. It shouldn't pass and I hope it doesn't because it will make it even harder to get a meaningful bill passed in the next legislation. because the law makers will feel like they've addressed the issue. DO NOT support House Bill 1736!!! And that is my opinion...but coming from someone that was sentenced under the law of parties...I think it is a joke. I'm truly sorry if that offends anyone.

It's now evening and I'm kicked back listening to the prison radio station and winding down for the day. I'm praying for a good week and maybe good news.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


May 2nd, 2023

So, today I had a face to face meeting with Warden Dickerson over the religious discrimination grievance I filed. My issue was that we had access to a Christian app, but we're not allowed access to the podcasts which offers content for a myriad of different faiths.

I was a bit surprised when two Officers came to my door and said that I had to go to the Warden's Office. My first thought was, why does he want to talk to me? I've not done anything wrong! But I went and walked into the office. The warden told the guards to leave and shut the door. First, he was very respectful and he told me that he agreed with my grievance and said if it was up to him we would be allowed the podcasts...but the decision was from higher up and they said we will not receive the podcasts or any other media...However, they are trying to figure out a way through The Tank to broadcast via the tablet content for other faiths through a coordinator named Roxanne Moss.

After that we made small talk and he told me that there would be a faith based program on B pod and I thanked him for allowing The Tank and the opportunity to participate in it. It was a nice conversation, and he even wished me luck with the court. He said his focus is on rehabilitation and not punishment...which you know, I believe but there are others butting heads with him that still carry that 'punish them all' mentality. Its politics, you know? I get it. I respect him all the more for talking to me in person.

We are on week two of the lock down and I would have addressed the meagre meals we've been having but for lunch we had a hot meal and it was loaded down with meat and rice with a brown gravy, peas, white beans and yams. I ate every bit of it because we were famished. I hope this continues and there are no more sack meals...Breakfast today was two pancakes about the size of a jar lid, a smear of peanut butter and ten raisins. I hate complaining about food when so many people truly are starving in the world, but these meals of late had been paltry.

The day has been peaceful and honestly, I'm not upset at all that they've kept the TVs off. It has reduced the noise and while I'm distracted by my own thoughts, at least I don't have to contend with that. I enjoy the movies. I really do. It has been a treat and blessing, but those TVs in the day room do add a certain amount of fuel to the daily noise and chaos.

And that's been the day. I'll be on edge for the CCA rulings tomorrow, but each week is one week closer.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


April 30th, 2023

It's an early Sunday morning and I'm sitting here listening to the Sunday morning political shows, even though I'm kind of jaded by it all. We've been on lock down for a week now and I'm restless. It began last Sunday and we did kind of have a heads up that it was coming. What we didn't expect was for things to be was a throwback to the days in which lock downs felt more like a punishment more than just searching for contraband. We've had two showers in seven days, the sack meals have averaged at about, and I think I'm being generous here, two hundred calories per meal...so a total of 600 calories PER DAY when for the average male that weighs around 165-185 should be eating 1800 calories to keep healthy. I really don't understand how they get away with it.

Now, on the shakedowns they've been moving at a fast clip, and I have to be fair here...we were dreading the worst because they had the professional shake down teams plus a bunch of new recruits and that never goes well. We were hearing complete horror stories from A pod and the other side of the pod of things being taken and excess property being confiscated. I wasn't too worried about that too much because I live modestly. I'm not a pack rat and clutter drives me nuts. I hold things of sentimental value and my electronics, and what I need to live, and that is it. I never worry about what I will lose. What makes me anxious is the total disrespect and disregard for personal property that the pro shakedown teams and jerk officers have. To come into a cell and see your pictures and cards and items strewn across your cell like a category four hurricane has come through is upsetting. So, when I left my cell, I expected that to happen. They began on Thursday but didn't finish and then returned on Friday morning taking us out of our cells and locking us in the shower for over an hour. When it was over I expected to return to my cell in complete disarray, but to my surprise and gratitude all of my stuff was neatly stacked on my bed frame. Nothing was on the floor or thrown all over the place. I am thankful to the officers that searched my cell. I tip my hat off to them. Others weren't so fortunate.

They have turned the phone app off so calls aren't allowed until the lock down is over with and the section TVs are off. They had been turning them on in the evening but that stopped on Friday for some reason. Like I said, this feels like a throw back to the old days.

I cannot believe it's the end of April! I'm entering into May with some anxiety as I am still waiting on the CCA to rule and I'm about to hit that five month mark and what begins the point in which the average amount of time it takes is between 5-7months. I was already a ball of nerves each Wednesday and now it is about to be turned up to 11! There have been some good things happening in the courts and one guy had his death sentence reversed to life almost two weeks ago so that does give me a little hope...I'm posting a new quote on the site and I think it fits perfectly. It is from C.S. Lewis and reads "You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending". That means a lot to me because my path, and if given another chance, is to earn forgiveness through action, to pursue goals and dreams and to live a life of service. I wish I could undo the many bad decisions I've made, but I can't. What I CAN do is shape and change the future and the ending of my story. I'll stumble and I'm not perfect, but I know more than ever who I choose to be. Who I want to be. So, going into a new month those thoughts are at the center of my focus.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


April 19th, 2023

Today is CCA rulings day and while it could still be weeks or months away, each Wednesday I'm pretty anxious. I did a little calculating and research on the average time it takes to release a ruling and it comes to about 5-7 months. My friend, Clinton's was 5 and another guy was 7 months. I'm a little past 4 months now and a few weeks ago my attorneys filed something else so who knows? The wait is crazy, but as long as it leads to me finally off of DR, I'll be okay.  

A guy I know back here went back to Dallas for a hearing on a possible execution date. He has been gone a week now and sent word to me on some information on if anything changed or not. He had his tablet in a day which was good to hear but he had to get some ear buds from someone else as commissary was out of them. He said he is enjoying the movies and music, though. Something we don't get here. At least he has a break from this place! I look forward to those days again...really just to have access to good music again. I depend on the prison radio station but I'd love to have my own music like last year. So much more I want to explore! I've seen so many movies of late that the excitement I had last year isn't as strong... Troop just brought us a movie on the big flat screens. Speaking of,we watched some really good ones of late. The Christmas movie Violent Night was sooo funny and crazy. I also enjoyed this cool vampire movie called Priest. This weekend they are supposed to play the new movie Cocaine Bear. That should be a wild one!  

I'm having to do a lot of my exercising in my cell these days because of a lack of recreation. I usually do push ups, leg exercise like lunges, squats etc. I will do some Pilate's and core and I have a weight bag filled with water bottles for arm exercises. I just mix it up. I generally do 30 minutes of exercises in the morning and then do things through out the day. If you don't eat a bunch of junk and do 30 minutes a day you'll tone up really fast. It is pretty amazing. I tell guys who don't like to exercise that it takes about 30 days to start seeing results. I thought I would be the last person on earth giving exercise advice because I used to hate it and I've always had issues with weight fluctuation,but really, it is crucial in this environment especially for mental health.  

On another note there are sometimes people in this world I live in who are a little 'off'...They are drawn like moths to a flame, and claim they know the individuals or post wild things and we deal with them the best we can. I tell guys it is best to ignore it and move forward because you can't control what a person does or posts. You just have to pray for those people and hope they get the help they need.  

So, to report some decent news from here...a mentally ill guy I've really taking a liking to over the years, Syed, was just granted a hearing from the CCA and another guy had his death sentence commuted to life today. We take little victories however we can get them and the news that the state can murder one less person is always a win in my opinion. Wow...the good news keeps coming. I just saw that the Supreme Court has ruled in Rodney Reed's favor in allowing him to pursue additional DNA testing to clear his name. Even though today wasn't my day I'm glad it was for others.  

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.  


April 16th, 2023

It's a lazy, boring Sunday afternoon with some movie called Aquamarine on. I'm not even watching it but waiting for the next one to come on. Its been a bad movie weekend and honestly, my mind is too distracted to get into anything. I've been thinking about how bad I want to be finished with this place and at least back in Dallas. A friend of mine from back here was able to return this past week for some hearings next week and it just sent me into over drive with wanting to be done with Death Row. I know I go on and on about hoping the courts do the right thing and I do...and I'll face whatever happens after that as it happens, but I'm anxious and restless and this place isn't getting any better. We can't get regular rec. or even showers. Everything is jacked up and never consistent. At least I know things in Dallas don't change no matter what happens short of a pandemic. I'll get a shower every day. I'll get at least three days of rec. Is it paradise? Far from it. But I'll take consistency and being treated more humanely than this hell hole of chaos and uncertainty.  

Anyways, not to sound dour...I got a bit irritated earlier because a new promo was on our tablet telling people who use the tablet that they are now offering modern books and comics on the media app. Something we on death row can't even access. Isn't that crazy? We aren't even allowed to access newer books or a news app because of having a death sentence...Crazy.

On Friday I completed my Voyager Two class after six months of work and lessons. I hope to have my second certificate soon to add to my list of accomplishments since being here. No one can say I wasted time over the past twenty years. And I had nothing to gain other than self improvement. It's hard to say I had some ulterior motive with a death sentence hanging over my head. I take those accomplishments to the great beyond...But seriously, I am happy and proud of myself and I plan on adding to them because I do have a ton of goals if I survive this mess and I'm always looking to learn and grow.  

So, yesterday Troop and a church of volunteers delivered some cookies to us. That was a nice treat and I was thankful for that. There are rumors that we will be on lock down Monday or sometime this week.  

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


April 4th, 2023

It's 1:19pm on a grey and muggy Tuesday afternoon. We were supposed to have recreation today, but it was cancelled due to staff shortages. We are also at two days without showers for the same reasons. Here is how bad it is right now. Field Minister Troop came by to record an intro from me for the up coming Alternative Airwaves show I put together for the Tank on Friday night. I asked him how Field Minister Solley was doing and he said that they had Solley on psychiatric observation, doing a guards job watching over an inmate on 11 building to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. Solley is just an inmate. He may be well versed in the bible, but he isn't trained to deal with inmates having mental breakdowns. Crazy.

Last night I watched a really powerful video from a young woman who forgave her father's killer. I was sobbing like a baby and it really affected me and spoke to the power of forgiveness. Her name is Shelby Houston and the video was called "Forgiving her fathers killer,Shelby's story"  I was floored by it!

So, I mentioned earlier I was doing a show on Friday night with the prison radio station. It is the second time I've been invited to curate a five hour program with music and I recorded a positive message about changing prison and starting with change within ourselves. I'll be up all night Friday night but it is well worth it for sure.

That is pretty much the day today. My section is about to watch Creed and some movie called Hancock. I wouldn't mind seeing that. I might check it out.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith


April 3rd, 2023

It's 8 :19am as I write this. I was up for my work out and a shower but the lights are out and the guard came through and said they were short handed. So, as of now there isn't showers so I will probably have to bird bath. I had hoped today I would have a lot to do..I even skipped the last movie yesterday to get to bed so I wouldn't be dragging my butt today. Oh well...We watched Oblivion, a kids' fantasy called Guardians Of Time, Oblivion and a horror movie called NIX which I recommend. It hit all of the right horror notes. A little weird and confusing at times, but genuinely creepy!

Well, I don't think there will be a show down with the tv today...My neighbor really wants to watch the final of the college basketball tournament today. It's someone else's tv day, though and while I don't know specifically what the guy wants to watch, it won't be movies. It'll be some kind of sport. We shall see. I was telling myself to not get attached to movies all of the time, last night. I enjoy them, but it doesn't do me any good to just want movie movie movie. So I do need to limit myself. That's one reason I forced myself to go to bed or else I would have been up at that door after my normal bed time!

It seems they finally have the phone app sorted, but we are only allowed to call those on our approved visitation list. And sadly, as of now, no over seas calls. I do hope they approve it one day. In Dallas it wasn't an issue and it's possible because it was the same securus network. It is one of those things here that TDCJ stipulates. I mean, if it can be verified and approved what should it matter? We can't just call random numbers anyways because the system requires the person to accept the call in the first place...It's a safe system.

Well, there might not be any tv today or at least right now. The guard said someone stole the batteries out of the remote control. How crazy is that? It had to be another officer who probably hates that death row can watch tv now... I wanted to recommend the legal app, Lexis Nexis, to people who can afford a subscription. It's worth having if you like to look into cases or appeals to get not just facts, but up to the hour legal updates on appeals etc. It is relatively easy to navigate by just putting the person's name into their internal search engine and there you go. I think it's a handy guide in discerning fact from fiction or just to see how sometimes the courts can get it wrong. And they do quite a bit. I use it regularly and have learned a lot about the law in general from its use. I'm glad it's available on the tablet.

I was listening to fox news earlier and on one of the morning shows the panel was going on and on about how Trump is innocent until proven guilty and an indictment isn't a convention and politics has no place in the judicial system. I agree with everything they said, but what made me call BS in their words was they convict people - especially poor minorities - in the court of public opinion all of the time. They do it every week. But if you are Trump it is a witch hunt. How quickly do people forget that Trump called for the EXECUTIONS of five young black teens who were later proven through DNA to be innocent. So, forgive me fox news if I think you are all full of #@#.

It's later now and the tv was never turned on. No showers, no anything. This is one of those days were it should highlight why we not only should have more content on the tablet but it is crucial for good mental health.

That's been it for the day.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith


March 27th, 2023

The last week of the month....March really rocketed by didn't it? I'm doing okay, just getting my morning started. When I returned from the shower and turned on my tablet there was a notice saying death row inmates will have the phone app beginning tomorrow. Our times are from 2pm to 8pm. You don't have to register with Securus...you have to register your phone number with texasprisonphone.com and that should be it. Then, once the number is approved, the inmate will have a notice on their app with your approved number and we'll be able to call you. The thing that sucks is that no overseas calls or services like Skype will be allowed. Even if you are on an inmate's visitation list. Hopefully in the future that will change.

It was a decent weekend. We watched a bunch of movies. Avatar 2 was a bit long and not as good as the first one, but it wasn't bad. There was a really good remake of Fire Starter, but the best movie of the weekend was Papillon about a French man framed for murder and sent to France's worst prison. He escapes several times and is sent to Devils Island and is one of the only inmates to have made it off alive from there. It starred Ramy Malik and Charlie Hunham. There were some other decent movies sprinkled in as well.

I am still feeling restless.I just keep hoping each week is my last week as a death row prisoner. Even if it takes a couple weeks or months to get back to Dallas, at least I can finally be able to breathe and have that title off of my back. I'll face whatever comes after that as it comes.

I was just thinking that if the phone app really does come on tomorrow maybe it will cut down on the recreations they have. It'll be interesting to see what kind of effect it will have on people coming out of their cells. As of now there is very little excitement because everyone is tired of having hopes only to be disappointed again and again. For me the real disappointment is being excluded from the media app for no good reason. I just want some good music. Why not allow us to buy content and give a percentage of it to a victims' fund? It makes no sense to not utilise that kind of revenue that could help a lot of people. It would allow us to give back as well. I just can't wrap my head around it. We can't have entertainment on a tablet but we can watch free tv all day long? Well,not really free...the bill for that comes out of profits for commissary. Still, it is that good ol' backwards Texas logic that still dumbfounds me after all of these years.

Courage. Strength Hope and faith.


March 25th, 2023

I'm starting this early Saturday morning. They are running recreation and it's a little crazy, but hopefully when the movies start things will taper down a little. I don't know for certain we will be doing movies on our section because the guy who has today likes sports and college basketball, but I'm hoping he will want to at least watch Avatar 2 as it's in the line up.

Well, as I wrote that, that question was answered. It's on the movie channel now and the third season of a series called The Chosen, about the life of Jesus. As someone who is Jewish and spent several years in a Baptist boarding school during my teens, I find this to be a really interesting series because it is the exact opposite of what was taught at my school and what a lot of fundamentalists preach about Jesus and the bible. There is no fire and brimstone, no "muscular Christianity" no anti this or anti that message. It gets straight to the heart of what many believe Jesus taught which is compassion and forgiveness for all...that redemption is deserved for all who seek it. A pretty universal message for any faith. It is well produced and the acting is good. It's good television, as the critics would say. What I find most interesting about it all is how so many people in this country would embrace these teachings on the surface and pay it lip service and say that is how we should live, but our society (U.S. Citizens) does the opposite. We don't easily forgive, we are rooted in vengeance, and we don't often give room for a person to be redeemed. Having a death penalty lays truth to that alone. If I say I'm sorry to a person I have hurt and have done my best to show in actions, not in just words, it is rejected and I'm told I'm trying to play the system or looking for an angle. If I say I'm not a danger to anyone, I'm told I'm just waiting for the right opportunity. Nothing I say or do is accepted and yet...most of the U.S. would say they believe in Jesus' teachings. And he taught to forgive! Why, then is it so hard? I'll never be able to wrap my head around it. I don't mean that as a dig towards Christianity....it just makes me wonder why in the U.S. people say they believe one way and act the opposite. That being said, I've met some wonderful Christians that do follow Jesus' actual teachings as portrayed in the chosen series. I think the world would be a better place if it mirrored that particular portrayal.

I say all of this also in light of news that when I spoke to the field minister, Troop, he said that several directors of TDCJ recently admitted in front of inmates and guards that their years working as prison officials have shown them that they've been doing things all wrong when it comes to criminal justice and they now see that there should be a pathway for inmates to be redeemed and earn their way back into society. It took them decades to come to that conclusion. Hopefully as more eyes are open and more people are accepting, many of us can finally atone for the things we've done.

So...it's later now and we watched Avatar 2 ...It was way too long. It wasn't a horrible movie but the plot wasn't tight and had it been an hour shorter it could have probably been a much better movie, but if I blessed to live long enough, I'm with them until the series finishes. I think there are three more movies planned. I'll see what comes on this evening and might watch another couple of movies. Assuming it stays on the channel.

Courage. Strength. Hope And Faith.


March 24th, 2023

It's one of those ho hum days that can't seem to get started. I am still trying to figure out what I'm going to do and I'm starting this after lunch. It is my neighbor's tv day and he has it on some talk show, but I'm not watching it. I don't know if they plan on watching movies today or not because my neighbor isn't a big fan so it does give me time to take care of some things for the weekend in case there are good movies.

We watched all three of the The John Wick movies and they were a lot of fun yesterday but last night's movie, some thing called 'The Visitor' wasn't good at all. I bailed on that about ten minutes in. Someone said commissary is raising the price of coffee to $4.50! That's crazy. A two dollar increase! It better be Starbucks at that price because the stuff they sell to us is generic dollar store junk and I don't see inflation jumping it up that high. It feels like price gouging! I just looked at the commissary list on the tablet and it has gone up! Some guys here can't afford that! I mean, you typically need two bags to get from one store to the next, then guys like to buy a pint of ice cream to treat themselves which is 3.25 and then necessities like hygiene and writing supplies...if your family sends you a little each month, that's wiped out on those items alone. It feels like gouging... On top of that, a lot of the items are made by inmates....clothing, food, hygiene...I mean, 60¢ for a card made out of free labor? The material itself is probably less than 20¢ per card.

We just had fried fish for lunch and as I write this the clean up crew has come through. It feels like a strange day and I am a little bit restless. Well, it's later now and my neighbor pretty much handed his tv day over to me and initially I was going to put it on X men for the guys to watch but it turned out to be King Kong...so, they are watching that until the movie channel comes on. I think we'll get it changed when it's close to six.

Field minister Troop just dropped by and we talked for a bit. He had been sent to another unit for training and he said it was an interesting time. He dropped off a movie list and everyone is excited because Avatar 2 is coming on. And that's the day pretty much...more this weekend!

Courage. Strength Hope and Faith.


March 20th, 2023

It's a lovely spring day this Monday of a new week. I've been spending the day keeping busy until we can hopefully watch the movie Greenland and some Star Wars. It is 62 cell's day with the tv, as our section has a drawing of cells for each day of the week that way it gives everyone a chance to watch what they want to watch. We are the only section that has this kind of system and there were some bumps early on, but a month in and we've worked out the kinks. We have one guy who lives here that just can't get along with anyone and unplugs the tv when he is at rec. but outside of him, things are working.  

Well, my day is Wednesday and at first I was a bit exhausted from watching movies all weekend long. I spent over a total of 24 hours on my feet watching movies we've never seen before. Then I found out Greenland was on today so I'm trying to wheel and deal to exchange my day for movies today. I think the guy will do it. I was thrilled and so happy my good friend Big Foot received a stay last week. That execution would have hit me hard, had it gone through. Any execution sucks, but I have only ever cried over few people and I know I would have been a wreck that day.

So, yeah, I went into the weekend with some high spirits. The weekend movies were really good. We watched parts one, two and three of the Jason Bourne movies, an excellent drama called Blue Bayou which I highly recommend, a Denzel Washington marathon and the sci fi epic Elysium. I also did a movie date with my Taffy and the movie Shazam. All worth the tired body in the end!  

Well, as of now, I've talked the guy into the movie Greenland, but he's not a big fan of Star Wars and isn't feeling a three movie marathon but he hasn't said no. My feelings won't be hurt if he does. It comes on all of the time. I'm good with Greenland. I was just listening to fox news and they are sooo upset that the Manhattan DA might charge Donald Trump...they are such hypocrites because they get all up in arms if the DA doesn't go after someone who steals a candy bar and throw them in jail, but they don't want 'their guy' to be prosecuted when the clown is a career criminal? It is a witch hunt when he has skirted accountability for decades just because he has money? These people are insane.  

The morning started bright and clear but now it's grey...looks like it might rain. That has pretty much been all that is going on around here.  

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


March 14th, 2023

It's the afternoon and my section is watching Detective Pickachu as we wait for Troop to show us the movie Shazam on the big screens. I went to rec first thing in the morning and I am energised and have done some exercises throughout the day. But now I am giving my body a little rest because I've been pushing it really hard with exercises. Even when my ankle was sore, I still did a lot of upper body etc. I even had a weird dream that I fit back into a pair of jeans from my teenage years! Haha. I just would like to be in tip top shape with a return to Dallas.

I have had some really strange dreams since being able to watch movies. Yesterday I had a nice legal visit but I learned I've been defrauded and someone stole from me. Not a good feeling and it made me understand more the hurt I had caused from my own actions in the past. I told my investigator I guess in a way it was Karma and maybe it was deserved.

Over the weekend, the Sunday movie line up wasn't that good, and being so tired throughout the day made standing at the door unbearable but I did watch two good movies one with Peter Dinklage called Rememory. That guy is an amazing actor. I've seen him in smaller roles but in this movie he carried it, and wow! There was a real depth of emotion. Another was a Holocaust movie called The Survivor. He was in Auschwitz concentration camp and forced to box other Jews to the death to entertain Nazis. If he lost, he'd be killed and so he was essentially forced to kill his fellow prisoners. He survives and becomes a boxer in the U.S. and is searching for his long lost love from before the war...and he goes through PTSD and survivors guilt. In the end he finds her as she is dying of cancer and he can finally make peace and let go. I was crying like a baby! It ends on a beach with his American wife and he tells a classic Jewish joke about a mother and her son playing on the beach. A huge wave comes and sweeps her son back into the ocean and she cries out to G-d, Why? Why did you take my only son from me!? Another wave comes crashing in and spits her son back out to her and she hugs him tightly, looks to the heavens and says, “He had a hat!” The joke being that for Jews we are always praying to be saved and when we are, we find a reason to complain about it. In that final scene you realise the survivor has let go of his guilt and is grateful for being alive. It made me think and be grateful for the moments I've had and the chance of a second life should I also survive. Here I am complaining about not having a media app or other things, but I am alive! The most important thing of all! What do I choose to do with that life? Well...I want to be good and to be in service to others. I also hope for forgiveness and to show in actions, not words. I would hope for redemption.

So, I can't believe we're already close to half way through the month. Time is flying by! There's an obvious eagerness and anxiousness as we wait on the ruling, though. But we are so close to being there! Even if it takes another three months. We are almost there and I feel it. I was reading some rulings on nexis lexis and it gave me some comfort that in almost every ruling that the state concedes, the CCA grants the new trial. As well as the cases of proving actual bias, ACTUAL being the key phrase. We shall see what tomorrow brings, but as my investigator told me, he believes we are in a good place and the possibility of a new trial is a very real thing.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


March 11th, 2023

It's Saturday, close to noon, and after a raucous morning of chaos and noise, the place has gone quiet to watch a Clint Eastwood western called A Fist Full Of Dollars. I'm not big on older western movies, but I'm glad that people can enjoy it. I'm grateful for the silence as well!

The death row warden came around today and it was a surprise to see him on a Saturday. He was asked when we would get the phone app and he said it could be a month or longer. He also said that Death Row would only be allowed to call those people on our visitation list. Someone asked if we would get other apps and he said no. Then someone pointed out that it made no sense that we could sit around and watch tv all day long but could not purchase our own content via the media app and he agreed but said the decisions come from higher up. That is really all we learned in terms of what is going on.

As I write this I'm waiting for recreation but as the day carries on I feel less inclined to go. I'm cooking right now and there are some movies I'd like to catch and I have a movie date with my Taffy and don't want to miss that. If I can go next round, I might go, but after? As much as I dislike being trapped in the cell, I'm just not feeling it today.

It's later now...I didn't go to rec. instead opting for the shower. Well, I was stuck in there for an hour because the guards decided to 'take a break' because their feet were tired. The only job on the planet that doesn't fire you for not doing your job... I'm worn out now and after having watched Wonder Woman, a great movie I should add. I'm just waiting for a horror movie and then I'm calling it a night. Tomorrow is my tv day and there is a so so line up of some movies I've seen and haven't seen so it should be a decent day. I have to get up early to make sure the station gets put on and then after that it is cruise control.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


March 10th, 2023

Friday...It's grey and humid today. We're not having recreation even though there are 4 officers working today on the pod. I stayed up last night until 10pm to watch the movie The Happening. It started off strong but fell apart after the second act, got a bit ridiculous, and the movie didn't really get anywhere. The twist was revealed too early in the movie. It would've worked better to have people guessing what was causing humans to kill themselves...the other thing is once the government or people knew it was nature and plants striking back by releasing toxins in the air, why weren't people wearing gas masks or oxygen tanks? Dumb...

We'll see if we do movies tonight or not. I know we will all day Saturday and Sunday. I've got to spend the day busy so I don't fall behind. I have Voyager class at three and I'm sure there will be book work and homework.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith


March 9th, 2023

As I write this it's early Thursday morning and I'm killing time as I'm scheduled for 4th round of recreation outside, and with this crew and the scheduled execution, it is uncertain that I'll make it. I'll just say that I do believe Arthur Brown is innocent, and even one of my attorneys who worked on his appeals believed that and felt horrible he couldn't do more. It is really sad to think about.

I watched two movies Wednesday in the day time but it didn't put me too far behind in anything. We watched Captain Marvel which was better than I expected, as well as Star Wars Rogue One which I had seen last summer in Dallas. After that I finished up for the day and chilled in the evening. The guys around me watched The Masked Singer. I took a glimpse at it and that show is bonkers! People singing with huge costumes! Then, and this had me laughing so hard, they watched Farmer Wants A Wife! All of these pretty city women vying for the affection of a dude in a cowboy hat and boots! Geeze, the stuff on tv these days. I swear, if I had a time machine I'd go back to where it all started and prevent MTV's The Real World from ever happening! Imagine a world where the most superficial shows on earth never existed! There'd be no Kardashian's or Octomom.. Pure world harmony!

Well, I was bumped up and went outside on 2nd round. We played 40 games of basketball and my ankle felt good. I started out a bit slow and careful but as I played had more confidence, and my foot was okay. By the end of the time we tied up 20-20. It was fun.

Spring is definitely here! Today is 85 degrees for a high! That is May like temperatures... I think it is going to be one hot summer here. I hope to be in Dallas by then because they keep the air blasting. It does get hot outside in the gym though. I don't mind that for an hour or two but here the air is always wonky.

It's later now...they killed Arthur. You know, they said in 30 years he showed no remorse, but for those 30 years he really was innocent, and why would he be expected to show remorse for something he didn't do? Personally knowing him for 20 years, I know he felt bad for all involved but he has always said he wasn't there.

I'll finish this tomorrow.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith


March 6th, 2023

I'm writing this in between commercial breaks as my section watches the movie Gemini Man with Will Smith. It's funny because the action packed movies get absolute silence in this place. So, today has been one of those weird days in which it was frustrating and incredibly boring, but also moved by incredibly fast. I intended to get up at 6am and overslept until almost seven, got the day moving with exercises and a bird bath, because I thought they weren't going to do showers, but they did do them and so I went even though I had a bird bath. I then got caught up on writing and next thing I knew most of the day was gone and because I worked hard enough, I was ahead of things and here I am in between watching a movie.

Yesterday was a good movie day, the best movies being a romantic movie called Valentines Day and another crime drama called Dig as well as a historical movie called Harriet which brought me to tears. Tomorrow I'm hoping they have recreation so I can have a good cardio work out and then later that morning I hope to have a visit. Of course, it'll be a sad week with two scheduled executions this week. Texas is in full tilt murdering people. Hey, citizens, don't kill...it's bad and against the bible...if you do, we'll kill you. Hell, we'll kill you even if you didn't kill anyone...Completely rational folks, here...Remember the Alamo! This place is insane. Still have to get through the rest of the week.

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


March 5th, 2023

(Dear reader, forgive the scattered brain nature of this. I've been writing it in between movies through out the day!) It is a bright blue and clear Sunday morning. As I write this, we are waiting for the guard to turn on the tv for movies today.

I'm doing okay. I went outside on Thursday and played 35 games of basket ball...recovery time body wise for a 45 year old isn't like it used to be but I can still give these youngsters a run for their money! Even if I twisted my ankle. Nothing serious, just rolled on it when I was pivoting to shoot a basket.

We have seemingly been screwed over again...Now, I preface this by saying it is coming from a dude who went to visit Thursday and their visitor read an FB page and apparently as of now, and the reason they removed the phone app on that same day, is that Death Row was not supposed to receive the phone app. Only Ad Seg. Our plan has yet to be finalised which is ridiculous. To add insult to injury, it is a spit in our face because the majority of men in Ad Seg are there for behaviour or dangerous gang activity and yet they are deemed suitable for phone calls and not death row? You have men with capital life sentences in Ad Seg. It makes no sense! So...for now our phone app is cancelled. They keep us on this yo yo telling us one thing today and another thing the next and it really is messed up. How hard is it to just give us a definitive yes or no and leave it be?

My ankle is still a bit tender but thank goodness it wasn't anything too bad. When I stand on it and move around it loosens up so I am good as our section does movies this weekend. I was okay when I watched the Thriller Thursday night called Becket about this couple that vacations in Greece and get into a car crash. The girlfriend dies and the corrupt Greek police believes Becket had seen something he shouldn't have and the rest of the movie they try to kill him. It was decent. I have been standing like a flamingo to keep the pressure off of my bad ankle. Thank goodness I had the movie list and made copies so everyone knows what is coming on this weekend!

I had a visit on Saturday night and it was picture night so I'm hoping that the picture came out good. I got the thumbs up from the guard that took it so we shall see! It's been forever since I've had a picture, other than a Dallas mug shot and being in court! Haha. Before visit I made it outside by myself yesterday afternoon and it was perfection. It was nice to be alone with my thoughts and enjoy the day. After that I went to the visitation building and it was packed. They raised the prices on the food out there which is ridiculous now and really unfair to lower income families who have to travel and pay gas etc. But the pictures are free now and they send them to an email address the visitor provides. They do everything so strange and complicated these days, though.

It's a new week and hopefully it brings good news! I keep praying and preparing myself for a return to Dallas. We are now at the 90 day mark so anything could happen moving forward. Although I'm prepared for the long haul. I think.

The movies have been decent today. Our section has enjoyed it. Here's looking forward to a good week!

Courage. Strength. Hope and Faith.


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